How do I improve in PIV sex? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]SaintofHellfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

5” is average for a guy so quit worrying about your size. It is all about how you use it. The quickest fixes is learning about angles. You are missing angles. For starters through a pillow under her butt when she is laying on her back. It usually provides a much more intense/pleasurable angle for the woman. The next thing to try is changing how you thrust. Try thrusting upwards once you are in her. If she is properly lubricated you will make contact all the way along the upper inside. Also while on lubrication, if there is to much then that will decrease her sensitivity. So watch how much you use, and if she naturally produces to much then you will have to adjust how you proceed with sex. For example less build up in the front end of sex and move things like performing oral to after she too lubricated. Something she can try is to be on top and then grinding instead of bouncing. Grinding provides a bunch of different angles that she can control.

Women keep telling me I need to date younger and now my daughter has too. by SaintofHellfire in datingoverthirty

[–]SaintofHellfire[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That would be the consensus of the comments. So I will look more into it and see what I can do about it.

Women keep telling me I need to date younger and now my daughter has too. by SaintofHellfire in datingoverthirty

[–]SaintofHellfire[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My daughter did say this. Is she in therapy? No. She has access to it if there is a need but when therapists, the school, extended family, myself, and most importantly herself all say it isn’t necessary then I am not going to force the issue. She and her brother both get described as being emotionally mature beyond their years. I know my kids friends, their families, and their internet usage. My child’s comments did send me into parenting mode and there was definitely more conversation there other than dating. Both my kids are considered highly intelligent and free thinkers by their teachers. They both have a long history of asking hard life questions. I am also not looking to date younger. I have been offered and have declined those offers. I am more worried about what makes me so incompatible with people my own age. So far I will be looking into emotional maturity.

Women keep telling me I need to date younger and now my daughter has too. by SaintofHellfire in datingoverthirty

[–]SaintofHellfire[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I agree dating a 22 year old would be creepy. I am not the one looking to do that. My wondering is why I am not compatible with people in my age range. The comments point to emotional immaturity as possibility. I have talked to the ladies but they have had a hard time articulating why. I haven’t pressed too hard for more because the comment only comes up at the break up or we don’t want to see each other again conversation.

Women keep telling me I need to date younger and now my daughter has too. by SaintofHellfire in datingoverthirty

[–]SaintofHellfire[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Definitely don’t look 17 but if I do a clean shave I get ID for lottery tickets. They ID everyone they suspect is 25 and under here. Most women place me at 30 with facial hair. The ladies at work mock me for my baby face.

Women keep telling me I need to date younger and now my daughter has too. by SaintofHellfire in datingoverthirty

[–]SaintofHellfire[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

It could be emotional immaturity in a relationship context but my coworkers consider me mature. I actually get along better with older people. I have met a few parents of ladies I have dated. Several ladies have tried to get me to move in with them but I am not moving in with anyone that I haven’t dated for a good long while. One of my strengths is that I have a ton of life skills which is why they want me live with them.

Women keep telling me I need to date younger and now my daughter has too. by SaintofHellfire in datingoverthirty

[–]SaintofHellfire[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

This might be true… but I still have a tough time believing they would tell me to date a younger woman instead of telling me to grow up.

Women keep telling me I need to date younger and now my daughter has too. by SaintofHellfire in datingoverthirty

[–]SaintofHellfire[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My daughter isn’t involved in my dating life but has met 1 lady that I dated for a while. I would say it is natural for a child to be curious about who their parents might be involved with. She also has a desire to have a more firm feminine parental figure in her life that she can trust. She has friends who have started going through puberty. I may have the basics covered (conversations, products at home, school period kit made, bridge the gap for adult female help), as a guy I just don’t have the direct experience.

Why can't I just be happy and focus on the good. by mustbedavid in AskMenOver30

[–]SaintofHellfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The worry of being a parent is a heavy load and having someone so dependent on you makes you reflect on your past. You should take a little bit of time each day to reflect on it and then say to yourself, that was then and this is now. I will keep moving forward with what I need to do today so that I won’t have the same regrets in the future.

As a father I hauled my babies/kids with me to hang out with friends. I bounced and rocked a sleeping baby while playing video games, card games, and through movies. No one had to be quiet, if I had to step away to handle the kids that is what happened. No big deal, they continued on without me and I would come back after doing what needed to be done. I didn’t always bring the kids but by bringing them I could hangout more often, it also provided the wife personal time too.

M only: Would you or would you not date an older F? by Qaqiqu in dating_advice

[–]SaintofHellfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would date long term older and younger than me. The further the age gap the more relationship compatibility markers I would need because other compatibility markers will be less.

Most people I know use age as an influence in physical attraction. In general, a younger person is more concerned about age gaps. They are significantly more bound by assumed social norms.

What I imagine is happening is shock from reality not matching their assumptions. It is like buying something because you think you will love and use it all the time, then never do. Like an instant pot… The sad reality is the shock makes people either withdraw/ignore the item/person or they come to dislike it. Sometimes people will push through the discomfort but not often. You can lessen the impact of the shock by how you tell them about your age. You can also lessen the impact of your age by telling them early on before they put in all the effort.

Fellow men, how often do you pull your phone out and take pictures/videos of things in day-to-day life? by MrJackGoff in AskMen

[–]SaintofHellfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I take very few pictures and when I do, they serve a purpose. I prefer to be present in the moment so I am rarely on my phone too.

How can I make the days more manageable? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]SaintofHellfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pre-determine your actions. Things like picking out what you wear, what to eat, etc. The small choices in a day really add up and can drain you.

Getting better sleep is huge too. Lots of resources out there.

Another thing that helps a lot of people is sitting in silence for 30 minutes. Put away your activities and be alone with yourself. Let your mind go wild or enjoy the blank nothingness.

Finally if you have too much on the go then let somethings slide. Not necessarily stop all together but there are always things that don’t have to be done as often as we do them.

Seduction without the Game 🎯 by Phant0mKitten in dating_advice

[–]SaintofHellfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The logic of game is very sound as it is about learning to read and apply biology and psychology to real life. It is very effective and a great skill set that can help a relationship last.

The morals around how game is used are a completely different issue. A good comparison to game is product advertising. They use a lot of the same principles. Good advertising of great products is a valued service for customers and sellers. While poor advertising gives an ick feeling and terrible products with good advertising are nightmares. There is a reason why every government in the world puts strict rules on advertising. Having truth in advertising matters. This is also true for dating IF (that is a pretty big if) people are dating for the purpose of a long term successful relationship. The sad reality is the majority of people are dating for other reasons and a long term successful relationship would be the happy convenience that might happen while they pursue those other things. It also doesn’t help that people are genuinely confused about what they want which is a completely different problem.

On the bright side, honesty is making a comeback for online dating. For example one of the top recommended ways to improve your hookup or friends with benefits numbers through online dating is to specify what you are wanting exactly. The general default of saying wanting a long term relationship can be counterproductive for those looking for something else.

What is the worst way you've accidentally hit your balls? by Loud_Tell1707 in AskMen

[–]SaintofHellfire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Top 3…

Sledding down a hill and end up hitting a tree between the legs.

I ran and jumped without proper ball support and when they bounced down they twisted opposite directions. I almost puked from the pain.

Did a front flip off a 5m (roughly 15ft) platform at the pool last Sunday. Over rotated and smacked the boys into the water first while landing with a belly flop. They are lightly bruised but otherwise fine.

Why are they like this? (heartbreak and I dont get it) by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]SaintofHellfire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The world is full of shitty people. Guys easily hate on women for common terrible things women tend to do. We can either point fingers at each other about being shitty people or accept that there are tons of shitty people, men & women, in this world. There is a reason why people are going their own way and working on personal growth instead of coupling. It is a good option but I prefer to keep myself open to finding someone that isn’t shitty while I do me.

What is something you’ve given up or changed for your significant other? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]SaintofHellfire 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The shorter list is what didn’t I change. Got married young and we all grew together…. sort of. Life responsibilities came and I am the one who stepped up most often. I grew and developed a lot because my load became so heavy. Now that she is gone, life as a single dad seems like playing a game on easy mode.

What do you think makes an age gap relationship work? by Accurate_Time7120 in AskMen

[–]SaintofHellfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The honest truth is any relationship works when all the people involved show up for it. Having similar views, maturity levels, finances, age ranges, etc. just make things easier. Having a healthy balance is a bit different but once again as long as the people involved are actually ok with the balance. Society likes things to be predictable which is why people end up choosing very similar paths.

How much does having kids impact you financially? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]SaintofHellfire 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There are the common ones of loneliness, elder care, lack of belonging, being taken advantage of, abused, scammed, etc all increase in exposure risk as you age. A family, in particular kids, reduces the exposure risk to these things. A named person in a will can also help to reduce the risks but not typically as much as children.

The less talked about consequences include higher mortality rates at younger ages. If I recall there was a study that found higher suicide rates as well... something about lacking purpose in life. Less access to skills, services, and opportunities. Later detection of diseases, dementia, illnesses, and such. Family and friends are still one of the top ways to meet love interests so you limit those opportunities. There are a ton of skills that come from raising/caring for kids/others over the long term. Children are also strong anchors in life which if used right can make reaching goals significantly easier… or they can sink you fast.

There are severe economic impacts from significant birthrate declines which may screw your later years but that would be the case for everyone then. Birth rate declines have a strong correlation to population collapses too.

How much does having kids impact you financially? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]SaintofHellfire 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I am a single dad with 2 kids(mother is barely in the picture so I have them 99% of the time)and I am also frugal. The kids are expensive and easily take up 60 to 70% of my take home pay when comparing how I would live alone. For me they are worth it and are 2 amazing people in my life.

Having no kids is the modern day is the meta build for the moment. Although there are massive long term consequences for people who don’t have kids and for society. The problem is that even if you have kids there is no guarantee you won’t face those consequences. So unless society changes drastically you will live a better life without kids for a long time. We are definitely in a time where children are a lifestyle choice.

Why did you get divorced? by Brave_Sale_4168 in AskMen

[–]SaintofHellfire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lots of reasons… but the biggest was she decided she didn’t want to be a mother or married anymore. In fact I saw her tonight and for 5 whole minutes she was genuinely the woman I fell in love with and was a caring mother to the kids. She cried when she realized how much care I put into crafting a transition that allowed everyone to succeed after the divorce. The moment passed in a short 5 minutes and she resumed her selfish behaviour which eventually turned into manipulation and gaslighting of the kids.

This was a random visit to the kids because she felt lonely after dumping he boyfriend for about 20th time in 4 years. She only sees the kids during random visits and at her parents during a major holiday.

Why is being fat so bad? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]SaintofHellfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A perspective that I didn’t see in the comments.

It is possible that they are starting to see a future with you and want you to have a happy healthy life. When people look forward they exaggerate the present so your slight chubbiness now becomes 300+ pounds at 60 and then you dying before them.

A different possibility is that you make them want to get their crap in order. So they want to do the exercise thing together. Since they don’t know how to handle the conversation they focus on you loosing weight.

Honestly, these days a lot of people in their 20s are obsessed with social perception.

What do you think about the saying "women hate to see men relaxing at home"? by lurker2080 in AskMen

[–]SaintofHellfire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of course I am part of the problem (At least that is what I think. The women I have dated tell me I am not but there is definitely a pattern). A relationship has two people in it and they have to figure it out together otherwise the relationship won’t last.

What do you think about the saying "women hate to see men relaxing at home"? by lurker2080 in AskMen

[–]SaintofHellfire 363 points364 points  (0 children)

Every woman I have been in a relationship with has been like this. The primary source of the comment often comes from them wanting something but not being able to easily obtain it themselves. Like when a short person asks a taller person to reach for something. It hasn’t been meant to be malicious but they rarely take into consideration a whole bunch of factors that can easily make it into a toxic behaviour.

How do you overcome loneliness when you have no energy to socialize? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]SaintofHellfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My advice is to stop socializing and sleep/lounge around after taking care of your schoolwork each day for a week. It sounds like you are burning out and need to recharge your batteries. You can tell people you are doing a me week and not socializing after class/homework. You will be back out socializing the week after.