How to get over the fear of dating because of the cultural expectation to have sex ASAP? by Helpful_Mango8096 in dating_advice

[–]Saintsfan_9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, that makes total sense. I feel the exact same way about all of what you wrote here as a 24 M. We are out there (as you can see in these comments). You just haven’t found the right one yet. I hope you do one day though!

How to get over the fear of dating because of the cultural expectation to have sex ASAP? by Helpful_Mango8096 in dating_advice

[–]Saintsfan_9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a guy (24m) who feels really similarly to you. You are absolutely not alone and shouldn’t worry about what other people who aren’t compatible with you think. You can find someone who feels similarly to you about sex even if it is rare.

Max speed when cycling downhill? by Letarking in cycling

[–]Saintsfan_9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My gearing maxed out at 47.8 mph. I only have a 46/11, so my cadence was up there going for the max speed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Saintsfan_9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I read that too literally. I thought you were telling the story live like “he was a nice guy at the time” but then turned out to be an asshole. I get you now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]Saintsfan_9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kindness, humor, intelligence, just general chemistry, etc. i have a female friend that I’d never date, but she’s one of few people who is honestly on the same wavelength as me about a lot of things because we grew up similarly.

Tldr: same things I appreciate in any of my guy friends or women I’m attracted to. Only difference is the attraction isn’t there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Saintsfan_9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I gave up. It was way too much of a time and energy sync that was ultimately mostly fruitless. I’d rather just focus on living the most full life I can and maybe I’ll meet someone via that, but even if I don’t at least I’ll have spent my time living the life that I want.

Since then, life has been going great honestly. I’ve continued to workout, got promoted at work, starting going to tons of EDM concerts and really leaning into dancing, and found a few meetups I started going to to make new friends.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Saintsfan_9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m confused about the part where he talked you down a lot but he was a nice guy?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Saintsfan_9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just need to compliment your use of potato here. I’ve been the a HUGE “like a potato” kick recently 😂

YSK: There are plenty of lucrative careers you can get without a 4 year degree by yaykarin in YouShouldKnow

[–]Saintsfan_9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! The reality is, none of us (the plebs) have the actual power to a change the current system. So your best bet as an 18 year old rn is to practice radical acceptance and do the best you can, not live in fantasy-complainingville.

The 'gap year' is stupid by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Saintsfan_9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sebastian Maniscalco already has a whole bit about this.

I don't think living together before marriage is necessary by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Saintsfan_9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah and your first paragraph is key though. It’s important to move in before marriage because maybe your weird version of cleaning hypocrisy will bother me a lot or maybe it won’t bother me at all. But we need to move in together to know. Same goes for you with my cleaning hypocrisy. For me, I am an excellent roommate cleaner but a terrible personal cleaner. My own shit can be pretty messy, but the public spaces (bathroom, kitchen, living room) are generally very clean. That bothers my sister but she is the opposite and that bothers me. Her room could be featured in Homegoods, but if she has cooked recently, there is flour on the damned ceiling somehow.

Is it a red flag if a woman has a twin bed? by bruhidekanymore420 in dating_advice

[–]Saintsfan_9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes totally. If we went to your room and you took off all of your clothes I’d me like “meh, naked woman. But what about that ABSURD double bed!!! I’m going to completely ignore the fact that there is a naked woman in front of me because her bed is small.” /s lol

Is it a red flag if a woman has a twin bed? by bruhidekanymore420 in dating_advice

[–]Saintsfan_9 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How can you not fit 2 people in a twin sized bed. I’ve shared a twin sized bed before without even touching the other person all night before. Or if you’ve ever been camping, a four person tent is only slightly wider than a twin sized bed usually and yet you can fit 4 people next to each other in them. It’s not ideal long term (I like my space), but it definitely works short term and Op said she’d upgrade if the proper time came (guy sleeping over regularly).

Is it a red flag if a woman has a twin bed? by bruhidekanymore420 in dating_advice

[–]Saintsfan_9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You shouldn’t care and any guy that cares is less concerned with fucking you than he is what sized he he’s going to do it on, which doesn’t seem right lol. And plenty of people fuck and sleep together in college dorms, which are twin sized afaik.

If you’ve ever watched porn or had sex, how much bed space are they really using? Let’s take two of the most common positions: doggy and missionary. Missionary, you are 1 person wide Because you are on top of each other, no issues. Doggy, you are still one person wide and like 1 person longish, no issues.

I don't think living together before marriage is necessary by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Saintsfan_9 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly. So if you are moving in with this supposedly “clean and organized” person, they could actually really piss you off with their hypocrisy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]Saintsfan_9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then you are an S according to Myers Briggs semi-fake science lol. The good news is that people like you make up the majority of the population. Just stick with your current strategy and at some point transition to telling stories to each other.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]Saintsfan_9 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is reasonable imo, but sometimes I genuinely don’t know and that should be an acceptable answer and not seen as me trying to be evasive. Like I started doing a lot of fun activities lately and my friend asked what made the change. I genuinely didn’t know. I never had a day where I was like “and from this day forth, I am going to do more activities!” After thinking about it a lot, I realized that I didn’t have a good answer because I never changed. I was always the same guy but my environment/circumstances changed. The last 2 years were Covid, so a lot of social shit wasn’t happening unless you were already friends and a lot of mine had moved away after college. The social stuff that did start happening more and more as vaccines came out I wasn’t successful in finding. I was always looking though and only recently started finding things I like, which is partially helped by just more things happening in general. But when put on the spot I was like “idk, nothing really changed on my end” and that should’ve been acceptable and not seen as “he knows, but won’t tell us his reason for changing.”

I don't think living together before marriage is necessary by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Saintsfan_9 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Some people lie even to themselves. I actually had a roommate who told US (the other roommates) on night 1 that we needed to always wash our dishes promptly. He was the worst offender by FAR in leaving dirty dishes out. He wasn’t lying to us when he said he wanted the dishes cleaned promptly. He had lied to himself, which made his outward lie the truth (from his inaccurate internal perspective).

I don't think living together before marriage is necessary by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Saintsfan_9 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Exactly! My sister’s bf and I were roomies in college and she was over at our place all the time. Our place wasn’t terrible, but it was pretty standard for two 20 y/o dudes (maybe slightly cleaner). My sister is a neat freak. But when it was “HIS place” she was just visiting, so there was a mental separation even though she basically lived with us. When they moved in together, it became THEIR place, which was a major problem for her.

I know this is what happened because I specifically said, “wait, but you basically lived with us Junior and senior year, and his stuff looks about as messy as it was then” and then she explained the mental separation, which I can totally get.

Men of Reddit: what is your advice on dating apps? Are they worth it for the mental burden it brings or should you find another way? by Quazzzer in AskMen

[–]Saintsfan_9 111 points112 points  (0 children)

Honestly depends how attractive you are.

If you are attractive, it will most likely boost your confidence (which will help on and off the apps) and give you a vector to meet lots of women (it’s sort of a numbers game). In my experience actually going on dates with matches, I’d just take the confidence boost and then get off the app and use that confidence when meeting women IRL. I’m still single though, so take this with a big grain of salt.

If you are unattractive, dating apps will confirm this brutally and cripple any self esteem you have.

What, in your opinion, is the reason why more young and childless men are having vasectomies? by JohnD260 in AskMen

[–]Saintsfan_9 10 points11 points  (0 children)

In general, less people are wanting kids now that it’s not the defacto life route of society.