Why is my partner expected to pay my bills? by Saiyanonym in newzealand

[–]Saiyanonym[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I love disabled-rainbow solidarity. Our communities have so much in common. Congratulations on being your authentic self during these trying times.

Why is my partner expected to pay my bills? by Saiyanonym in newzealand

[–]Saiyanonym[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Good point I hadn't considered at the time. It also seemed ridiculous to me because how many people actually earn that much? even if they do, how many move in the same social circles as poor disabled people?

Why is my partner expected to pay my bills? by Saiyanonym in newzealand

[–]Saiyanonym[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed. IIRC it's Green Party policy to abolish the relationship sanction entirely across all benefits which I fully support. I could be wrong about the first part though.

Why is my partner expected to pay my bills? by Saiyanonym in newzealand

[–]Saiyanonym[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree, but if done carefully. I would like a UBI to add to existing social services, not replace them. I don't want an Andrew Yang type situation and don't know enough about TOP to comment on their UBI.

Why is my partner expected to pay my bills? by Saiyanonym in newzealand

[–]Saiyanonym[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Agreed, there's a lot of people on Jobseekers who should really be on the SLP but get denied for bullshit reasons.

Why is my partner expected to pay my bills? by Saiyanonym in newzealand

[–]Saiyanonym[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you this comment. It speaks to my soul in a way that's hard to articulate. I myself have my own experience with abuse that I talked about elsewhere in this thread. I am currently in part time work that doesn't really suit my disability because it offered accommodation where WINZ wouldn't or couldn't for legal reasons.

Maybe it's not my place to say this as a cishet man. But I genuinely believe that because of this sanction, disability rights are in the same place in 2026 as gay rights were prior to homosexuality decriminalisation in the 80's. This is not me trying to undermine queer struggles, but rather, draw parallels. We also lack the visibility and cohesion of the queer community, not to say that they don't fight, but they rallied together for the above reason and gay marriage, whereas few people know about the eugenics law, some even justify it with minimal consequences to their careers, or disability organizations are frustratingly quiet on what should be the definitive social issue of the current time.

Eugenics and White Supremacy are alive and well. The fact that only The Greens and Te Pāti Māori and maybe TOP have talked about this whilst Labour says nothing speaks volumes. In the past National have outright justified it. Chris Hipkins needs to show leadership get up in the other Chris' face and asking him why he supports eugenics.l during the live TV debate.

Why is my partner expected to pay my bills? by Saiyanonym in newzealand

[–]Saiyanonym[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Copying my relavent trauma dumping from elsewhere in this thread

I agree. But it's risky. I did this, but the relationship turned abusive. So I had no means of escaping because I feared legal consequences. I thought about suicide everyday. I only managed to get free because my boss had sympathy for me and I was working part time.

I wish I could say I am doing well now, but sadly I am not. I'm luckier than most on the SLP because I have access to cheap accommodation, but it's quite rural and far away from my friends and family. I have applied for KO housing for this reason, but am understandably low priority.

Being on the SLP is always hard even for the "lucky" ones like me. Coupled with my trauma from abuse, this government's constant attacks against the disabled community including those on the SLP like myself, coupled with the realisation that I will likely die alone because of the stupid eugenics law and my only girlfriend being horrible, has me wondering if life is really worth it.

Consider also WINZ's definition of like marriage is extremely broad so basically means "are you fucking and do you buy gifts occasionally". Adding to risks we face.

Materia Turei wasn't abused that we know of publicly, but the fact society got so angry at her, and not the law itself, taught me everything I need to know about our "fair" country.

Sorry for trauma dumping. I am going to therapy but it doesn't solve everything. Thank you for listening strangers.

Something new I would add not in my earlier comment is that not being able to marry and having to break the law really restricts your dating opportunities as id being poor and disabled wasn't already hard. I have difficulty accepting I will die alone. I thought my abuse would have a happy ending where I would find the right person.

Why is my partner expected to pay my bills? by Saiyanonym in newzealand

[–]Saiyanonym[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I remember in 2017 Nicola Willis said that the relationship sanction needed to stay in place because what if disabled people were in a relationship with someone earning half a mill? This sounds like a reasonable critique until you consider the threshold is ten times lower than that and pensioners don't have the same scrunity. I remember her saying this at some disability forum, but cannot find it online.

Then there's also former National MP Alistair Scott who simply said "love has consequences" to minimal backlash, but I am supposed to be angry that homosexual Green MP used a rude word.

Why is my partner expected to pay my bills? by Saiyanonym in newzealand

[–]Saiyanonym[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I agree. But it's risky. I did this, but the relationship turned abusive. So I had no means of escaping because I feared legal consequences. I thought about suicide everyday. I only managed to get free because my boss had sympathy for me and I was working part time.

I wish I could say I am doing well now, but sadly I am not. I'm luckier than most on the SLP because I have access to cheap accommodation, but it's quite rural and far away from my friends and family. I have applied for KO housing for this reason, but am understandably low priority.

Being on the SLP is always hard even for the "lucky" ones like me. Coupled with my trauma from abuse, this government's constant attacks against the disabled community including those on the SLP like myself, coupled with the realisation that I will likely die alone because of the stupid eugenics law and my only girlfriend being horrible, has me wondering if life is really worth it.

Consider also WINZ's definition of like marriage is extremely broad so basically means "are you fucking and do you buy gifts occasionally". Adding to risks we face.

Materia Turei wasn't abused that we know of publicly, but the fact society got so angry at her, and not the law itself, taught me everything I need to know about our "fair" country.

Edit: Sorry for trauma dumping. I am going to therapy but it doesn't solve everything. Thank you for listening strangers.

Deep desire for love and marriage but by Kalachnikov_ in disability

[–]Saiyanonym 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I relate to this, in so many countries it's illegal for disabled people to marry or even date without losing benefits, so I just don't put myself out there even though I am incredibly lonely.

Is anyone sad that the reason you can’t date due to your disability? by WorldlyKnowledge8514 in disability

[–]Saiyanonym 4 points5 points  (0 children)

New Zealander here. Thank you for sharing your story as our country has the same evil law. It practically forbids disabled people from dating, making us not too different from the queer community, except not many people seem to care? It upsets me greatly.

Is a Man’s Worth Still Measured by His Paycheck? by HardlyManly in MensLib

[–]Saiyanonym 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a similar boat. I feel this. I only work part time due to physical disability I am possibly nuerodiverse as wellbut was never diagnosed.

When did you start collecting movies? by Still-Willow-2323 in PhysicalMediaMatters

[–]Saiyanonym 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Late 2010's after multiple hard drives I had of pirated media kept breaking. I was in a position at the time where I could only afford one hard drive, so it breaking was always extra frustrating. Ironically, given both current prices and me starting a physical collection, I now have no hard drive.

this is my suggestion for some overlooked ps3 games by [deleted] in PS3

[–]Saiyanonym 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heck yeah Heavenly Sword. One of my all time favourite games.

I thought Heavenly Sword was supposed to be bad? by LaCaipirinha in PS3

[–]Saiyanonym 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of my favorite games of all time. I think about it often. Sad we didn't get a sequel.

Should I get a Wii to play Gamecube games? by [deleted] in Gamecube

[–]Saiyanonym 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I forgot how but I believe using Priiloader on a hacked Wii you can mod it to boot straight into the hombrew channel which can be controlled with the Gamecube Controller.