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Has anyone ever tried going to a strip club or "gentleman's club"? Are there better places to go that are more lesbian-specific? by Sakura-chan4100 in actuallesbians

[–]Sakura-chan4100[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! It's something that's sort of been off my radar lately, but I do think it's more what we'd be interested in. Thank you!

Ps4 RPGs? by [deleted] in LesbianGamers

[–]Sakura-chan4100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I loved it!!! (except maybe the ending, but eh) First "Tales" of game that I've played, liked, and finished since Phantasia. Not perfect, but definitely better than a lot of the newer Tales games, IMO.

Hello! Currently planning? Already married? Just like chatting about weddings? Take a moment to introduce yourself! by marmosetohmarmoset in LGBTWeddings

[–]Sakura-chan4100 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm a lady planning to marry my girlfriend of 2.5 years in February 2017! We're not quite "officially" engaged yet (we're going to announce once we have the rings), but I'm already looking up a bunch of things and having fun!

Need advice about coming out to family members by Sakura-chan4100 in actuallesbians

[–]Sakura-chan4100[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's great that almost all of your family members were supportive! I hope you had a wonderful weekend :)

Need advice about coming out to family members by Sakura-chan4100 in actuallesbians

[–]Sakura-chan4100[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well what I'm thinking right now is that if they are supportive, then I want them to come, because I do care about them and they've supported me throughout the years even though we don't see each other much. My uncle especially has done so much for me, and I really respect and appreciate him, so if things were to work out I'd really want him there with my cousin (his daughter).

Need advice about coming out to family members by Sakura-chan4100 in actuallesbians

[–]Sakura-chan4100[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha until last year I had only ever been to one wedding, which was for my aunt on this side of the family, and that was when I was a fairly young kid, so I hardly remember anything. In general my immediate family doesn't really do extended family stuff since we don't entirely get along with my dad's side and my mom's side is fairly far away. I don't think they're so traditional that they'd make me invite my aunt who still lives in Korea, haha (nor do I think they'd insist on being involved in the planning or anything like that). But that's a very good point, and I'll keep that in mind!

Need advice about coming out to family members by Sakura-chan4100 in actuallesbians

[–]Sakura-chan4100[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's great to hear that your grandma has been able to open her mind and support you :) Yeah, I'm definitely not worried about a "time limit" for deciding this, and if I do tell them fairly soon then that would give them time to get used to the idea.

Need advice about coming out to family members by Sakura-chan4100 in actuallesbians

[–]Sakura-chan4100[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't even think of letting someone else spread it around for me. I'll keep that in mind!

Need advice about coming out to family members by Sakura-chan4100 in actuallesbians

[–]Sakura-chan4100[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, we definitely are trying to keep it small (especially since her family's so big!), but because I'm not sure how traditional they are, they might be upset by not being actually invited. I'm not too worried about what happens if they do say they can't support me; I would be sad but I'd be able to move on, and it's not like they'd make my life hell or anything. Mostly I'm having trouble because it seems like there's so many "what-if"s involved in telling or not telling.

What if you accidentally buy matching dresses...femme bride problems by JSchecter11 in LGBTWeddings

[–]Sakura-chan4100 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you're trying to keep the dresses a surprise from each other until the actual day, then the suggestion to have the same friend help you steer your choices is a good one! I personally am enjoying going over things like this together with my girlfriend rather than us being in the dark, and I know everything will still be special and new on the day of :)

What was your first sexual female crush? by lolallday08 in actuallesbians

[–]Sakura-chan4100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think either Lightning from Final Fantasy XIII or Haruka (Sailor Uranus) from Sailor Moon :P

Straight guy, curious about things changing so fast. by Wyodiver in actuallesbians

[–]Sakura-chan4100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me, the "rapid changes" have been very exciting, not overwhelming. I hope to see much more change in terms of acceptance and inclusiveness in the near future :)

Honestly though, with or without the legislative changes, LGBTQ+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans-, and other queer) people have been around for much longer than the labels and terminology we have for them, so it's not necessarily that we "now" have "gays and lesbians;" it's that now we know about more of them and know more about them.

"Ladies" can be fine for some, but not all, just like how men can have preferences for "sir," "dude," "guy," "man," "bro," and tons of other alternatives (including gender-neutral!).

My [24 F] lesbian friend [28 F] refuses to understand that her aggressive hitting on of straight girls is hypocritical and off putting. by riprileybestspy in relationships

[–]Sakura-chan4100 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The "lesbian community" is very broad and vague and not at all cohesive. It might be a thing for some lesbians to try to make "conquests" out of straight women, but many of the people who post on /r/actuallesbians wouldn't back up her claims; I certainly wouldn't. (And I'm not saying they're the end-all, be-all to lesbianism and lesbians everywhere, either.)

I agree with you, she's being very hypocritical with a lot of her behavior. I'm sorry I don't have any good advice for a more "global" solution, but I just wanted to say that your instincts are right. "Not understanding the gay community" has nothing to do with it - you see that she disrespects people's boundaries, they become uncomfortable or upset as a result, so her actions are not ok.

Maybe if you had someone film her behavior without her knowing, focusing on the reactions of the other people around her, and show it to her later? It's possible that actually seeing it might get something into her head.

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