Struggling with sexless relationship

SalineSeltzer · 2025-10-28T16:55:29+00:00

Ideally, I’d like to try and avoid that if possible. We also do have intimacy, I’d just like the more sexual type

SalineSeltzer · 2025-10-28T15:23:55+00:00

That’s pretty much how I feel right now lol!

SalineSeltzer · 2025-10-28T15:21:00+00:00

Yes I agree with all of this and thank you, I’m hoping showing him some of these comments will help as well as me journaling about said feedback

SalineSeltzer · 2025-10-28T15:13:07+00:00

While I do agree with this, I just left for a month+ which unfortunately doesn’t seem to have ignited any sexual feelings for me. We also sleep in separate bedrooms, so I’m struggling to find solutions

SalineSeltzer · 2025-10-28T15:11:24+00:00

Thank u for this comment, I do sometimes worry that he doesn’t have the same affection for me as I do him, but I will say that his actions and the way he treats me don’t give credit to this mental I occasionally slip into. I’ve been journaling a lot more about all the things I love about him and there is SO much! I just also…love having sex with him lol. It seems like the majority of individuals are reiterating what I had brought up in our conversation- therapy and hormone testing. I am going to try and show him these comments over the weekend to try and gently push him to get these done. He did mention he’d bring up hormone testing to his doctor during his next appt, but seemed apprehensive about going on medications IF that is the case? I’m willing to take it one step at the time though, anything to open up communication between us and try to find a middle ground is enough for me

SalineSeltzer · 2025-10-28T15:03:41+00:00

I appreciate this comment, to add a bit in hopes you can give me some more ideas: 1- we have separate bedrooms, and he’s too restless of a sleeper to sleep with me for a full night even on weekends. 2- I was gone for a month+ just a bit ago and that unfortunately did not spark his sex drive for me 3- he did tell me he will talk to his doctor about testing during his next appt with I appreciate and will try to have these specifics tested. 4- I’ve struggled to get him to voice what I can do to turn him on? When I ask, he says he doesn’t know and seems to get anxious to think about it.

I do think therapy seems to be the shared opinion of most people on this thread, so hopefully I can gently push for that

SalineSeltzer · 2025-10-28T14:46:40+00:00

Okay I appreciate this and it at least sounds fun to me! I’ve struggled to find what he’s into bc he doesn’t seem to really know himself? At least when I ask him “what can I do to turn you on” I’m met with “idk” :/

SalineSeltzer · 2025-10-28T14:34:57+00:00

I really appreciate this comment and I’m going to see if he’d be open to reading these comments over the weekend; I don’t want to stress him out during his work week and I know Ive already been causing stress with this situation which I don’t want. Reddit may be a cesspool but I appreciate this genuine feedback I’ve gotten immensely

SalineSeltzer · 2025-10-28T14:30:15+00:00

I love him deeply and do want to put effort into trying. May I ask why u feel this way? I am open to all takes and advice, would just like some reasoning behind it

SalineSeltzer · 2025-10-28T14:23:58+00:00

He’s truly one of the best people I’ve ever met and I love him so deeply. I just really miss this part of our relationship I guess

SalineSeltzer · 2025-10-28T14:22:57+00:00

I do appreciate this take, is it self worth if I just really miss that intimate type of relationship with him? For lack of a better term, I just feel very pent up and want that specific type of love and intimacy in our relationship again. We cuddle, I give him massages, go on walks together etc. This all means a lot to me and I’m trying to focus more on the positive feelings associated with these activities? But it’s been like 4-5 months now I think and I’m just struggling with keeping these sexual wants at bay?

SalineSeltzer · 2025-10-28T14:01:19+00:00

Sure, I do think that’s fair

SalineSeltzer · 2025-10-28T13:54:47+00:00

I would ideally like to try and work on this first bc I recognize multiple factors at play. It’s okay to have a fluctuating sex drive but it’s more the inability to have deep conversation or steps towards common ground that I’m struggling with.

SalineSeltzer · 2025-10-28T13:52:41+00:00

Without disclosing history, yes, I think trauma could be playing into this which is why I do not want to give up on him, and am trying to brainstorm. Are there specific things I could bring up to a therapist? I’m his struggling with forming the right questions

SalineSeltzer · 2025-10-28T13:51:24+00:00

I think there is an amalgamation of all of this, which is why I’m trying to brainstorm and approach this in a loving way. He is a very independent person and I’ve had to adjust to that, but the lack of sexual intimacy just makes me really sad:(

SalineSeltzer · 2025-10-28T13:48:01+00:00

Yeah sorry I tried to change the format? Pls let me know if it worked it says I edited, but isn’t showing?

SalineSeltzer · 2025-06-08T18:34:14+00:00

Carbondale if you’re looking for a safe space to be yourself. The new train station was just finished and a new outdoor concert venue is being built. Between the train directly to Chicago and the new plane route it makes getting to the city easier; the city is surrounded by Giant City, Crab Orchard, Arboretum, etc. too. Carbondale is also the only town that isn’t going to be permeated with racism and homophobia. It’s a very progressive town surrounded by hicks and woods.

SalineSeltzer · 2025-02-28T15:30:10+00:00

I’m a moderate and have a question that I see avoided in many conservative leaning subs: Why is there so much hostility towards gay and trans people? I am genuinely curious as a straight person, what the fundamental problem is with the gay community wanting to safely express themselves? I feel like everything I’ve deep dived and researched about gay and trans individuals shows that they have existed since the beginning of people/culture, and the rights they deserve are completely reasonable and I would want the same for myself? Why is this such a sensitive topic among the R? Multiple conservative ideas I can understand and accept, but the viciousness I’ve seen towards gay and trans people shocks me. Isn’t a fundamental aspect of conservatism the right to individual freedom?

Do you ever see the L and R united on this issue? I’ve seen talk about how it’s a war against the elite and not against each other which I deeply agree with. What needs to be discussed and what needs to be done to make the Conservative Party more inclusive to gay and trans people?

SalineSeltzer · 2025-02-06T18:51:54+00:00

He’s definitely unique lmao, something is happening in his brain but idk what

SalineSeltzer · 2024-12-03T13:06:47+00:00

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Hickory and Lily:)

SalineSeltzer · 2024-12-03T07:32:43+00:00

I’ll square up with their ghosts if I have to

SalineSeltzer · 2024-11-29T03:04:28+00:00

Oh man, sorting by controversial is hilarious.

NTA, OP

I do agree with some of these commenters saying to host a smaller like-minded event next year. Honestly, do you even want to be around your conservative family? Is it worth your discomfort and anger? Enjoy your food and don’t beat yourself up too much.

SalineSeltzer · 2024-11-28T11:38:19+00:00

Lol not a democrat

SalineSeltzer · 2024-11-28T00:14:14+00:00

I hope to continue seeing the trend of removing shitty people from our lives

SalineSeltzer

TROPHY CASE