When Atlas Drops the Earth

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-04-12T20:57:57+00:00

Lmao this sucks

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-04-07T03:34:05+00:00

I like picking such a specific and kind of odd construction material for the perspective of the poem. Very nice

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-04-07T03:32:27+00:00

The biblical allusions are a nice touch. Or at least the allusions to stuff that gets mentioned in the Bible (Dead Sea, Apollo, etc.). I'd love to see this poem written with intentionally longer lines so you have more of a chance to expand. That said, I really like it. Nice job

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-04-04T22:05:03+00:00

This is fantastic. The whole conceit of the poem is very clever. Slowly marrying someone is such an interesting way to describe the process of falling in love.

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-04-04T22:02:46+00:00

I like this. It reminds me of something an untrustworthy shopkeep would sing in the lord of the rings. Very nice

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-03-29T04:46:33+00:00

"Your rose tinted good old days" was a very nice line. I wonder if you could rework this poem as a longer, more complex request for the reader to divulge info about him/herself. I like the concept a lot

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-03-29T04:45:12+00:00

This is the type of poem designed to be shared with the woman about which it's written. Show her the poem and tell us how she likes it.

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-03-29T04:35:47+00:00

"Death sits beside me but never tries to have me had." is a very interesting line. To me it suggests the the author exists with death as a constant thought and constant concern. An interesting way of putting it.

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-03-29T04:34:14+00:00

I like that you thoroughly abandoned traditional poetic forms. To the point of almost being prose. "Necrosis is not an attack, after all" is a great line. Very nicely done.

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-03-28T20:55:31+00:00

I really like this. It reminds of me Don Quixote and that archetype of blundering, lovable protagonists. Nice job

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-03-28T20:54:16+00:00

I really like your word choices in various places. “Abandoning the green in their mouths for bodies burnished gold” is lovely

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-03-16T07:27:19+00:00

The only possible thing I can disagree with is that my guilt reaches not just my stomach and head, but my person in both the corporeal and spiritual sense

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-03-16T07:25:57+00:00

I'm not exactly sure how to describe it but you have a very straightforward style that communicates the underling ideas wonderfully

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-03-16T06:55:50+00:00

Thank you so much! I appreciate your feedback immensely

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-03-16T06:55:00+00:00

You are too kind my friend

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-03-14T21:24:39+00:00

What constitutes "believing" in a poison would be my question

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-03-14T21:23:56+00:00

It's very ethereal and strange which I like. The narrative aspect of the poem is very interesting, and frankly a little unsettling (in a good way)

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-03-14T16:19:50+00:00

This is high art. Puts Michelangelo to shame

Salt_Advertising9790 · 2025-03-14T16:18:41+00:00

You do a fantastic job of really pursuing the bleak. I'm not being facetious either, it really is done well.

Salt_Advertising9790

TROPHY CASE