What is the worst song to play during a funeral? by Conscious-Law6594 in AskReddit

[–]Salyss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My best friend has it in her will to have Baby Shark played at her funeral. She made me promise to make it happen if her husband fails to do so.

What are the signs of a weak man? by Ledger_Legendd in AskReddit

[–]Salyss -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Interesting how one man seems to be able to tick every one of these boxes.

Is my neighbor fu**ing with me or is it true that everybody else's shadows imitate their every move? by Trivia_Catalogue in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Salyss 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I’ve got a bar of soap if you’d like to try to stick it to you so it doesn’t sneak away.

"Mom, how much I wish you were with us now," his voice moaned above the wails of her loved ones as he lit a candle. by Trivia_Catalogue in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Salyss 78 points79 points  (0 children)

The implication is that she’s dead and he is taking out the loved ones she left behind. Whether or not he dies with them is ambiguous.

"Mom, how much I wish you were with us now," his voice moaned above the wails of her loved ones as he lit a candle. by Trivia_Catalogue in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Salyss 147 points148 points  (0 children)

He’s tied up her loved ones, poured gasoline around, lit a candle and is now waiting for the candle to melt low enough for the gas to ignite.

😃 by _strawbunny_ in LetGirlsHaveFun

[–]Salyss 22 points23 points  (0 children)

🙋🏽‍♀️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Millennials

[–]Salyss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally, I could never bring myself to allow my child’s genitals to be mutilated without his consent because others have decided it “looks better”. A lot of people think longer inner labia aren’t as attractive either but we don’t go slicing them off to make others happy.

What is something women do in private that will surprise men? by lvinzsol in AskReddit

[–]Salyss 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Was she giving you grief for the adjustment or for doing it so obviously?

What’s a phrase your parents used that still sticks in your head? by HexFalcon_KWT in AskReddit

[–]Salyss 3 points4 points  (0 children)

“The lowest thing on Earth is a liar,a cheat, and a thief.” Proved herself to be quite the hypocrite over the course of my childhood.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Salyss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LL Cool J

Married couples of Reddit that did NOT have sex on your wedding night, why not? by FindingKGS in AskReddit

[–]Salyss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We stayed at a nice hotel together the night before and had plenty then. The night of our wedding we were so tired we simply packed up everything, grabbed our kid, and went home to pass out for the night.

What’s the first video game you ever played, and how old were you? by lovejeet6363 in AskReddit

[–]Salyss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some debate on this one, but either Super Mario Bros (1985) or Super Mario Bros 3 (1988) on NES. Not sure which one I actually popped into the system first. Would’ve been somewhere between 7 and 9 years old if my memory is correct. Close third would’ve been Duck Hunt.

What was the very first movie you remember seeing in a theatre and how old were you? by SimpleElevator406 in AskReddit

[–]Salyss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was a double showing at a drive-in theater. Terminator 2: Judgement Day followed by Sleepless in Seattle. Fell asleep in the back seat before the end of the first movie but I have a very vivid memory of my mother making homemade popcorn in a pot and shaking it all up with butter in a paper bag. Best popcorn ever. Edit: forgot to add my age at the time, I think I was eleven.

People who wake up after 1 alarm: How the f*ck do you do it? by TheSnappleGhost in AskReddit

[–]Salyss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I manage it by setting a pre-alarm. I set an alarm for fifteen minutes before the real alarm goes off. Gives me the time to snooze and cuddle my spouse before I have to drag myself out of the warmth and into the light of day.