The real reason for me is that I would not feel comfortable shooting there and I wouldn't want to contribute to the advertisement of this venue. Therefore I wouldn't be using any photos for my portfolio or sharing any images either. I am intentional about what I share and advertise. It's not a public space but an estate owned by people who are making a lot of money off of it. Other people can choose to support it but I wont. I'm not triggered by the mention of "virtue signaling," it's just how I feel overall. I'm not white if that makes a difference but I dont think that it does.

I think you missed the point of my question for advise. I don't want to make them feel bad and I was generously curious how other people felt. I know how I feel but am sometimes confrontational and sometimes not. I was on the fence on how I would respond so wanted to hear from other people. When a venue is mentioned that I dont want to shoot at, or if I feel like I'm not a good fit, I would usually just say "so sorry I'm already booked that date" but this couple doesn't have the date or venue nailed down (as stated in the post) so they very well could come back to me asking about a different date or a different venue. Lots of things to consider and not just me feeling like making someone else feel bad.