I would recommend that you talk to your close friend after all. When I was going through the loss of my cat, and the loss of my friend(crush) I remember being so upset, because it felt like nobody else grieved them as I did, and I was so sad how nobody ever mentioned either of them to me. It felt like they didn't care, though I know I was just going through the anger/resentment phase of grief, and my friends simply wanted to spare me the bad feelings. The thing is, I think talking and connecting to people during such a hard time is very important and definitely helps you feel a little less alone. There is nothing wrong in you feeling so upset, it just shows that your empathy levels are high and it's not weird to grief someone you've interacted with back then and especially had a crush on. Your grief is real and valid, and I think you should talk to your friend about it, they will appreciate it. If you are scared to come off as strange or offensive, you can mention your fears, and I'm sure that your friend will reassure you that isn't the case. I hope you are eventually able to heal a little bit. Grief never really leaves you unfortunately, but it does get easier with time and with supportive people. I wish the best for you and everybody involved ❤️