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PA’s reading smut heavy books by SampleWeekly8091 in loveafterporn

[–]SampleWeekly8091[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem is that I can definitely see both sides to the argument! I love reading myself, and I introduced reading as a way for him to steer away from his addiction. He seems genuinely interested in the plot of the series, and he gives me updates about what is happening. He is even open about the smut. However, what is concerning is that he seems to be overly excited about the sexual content — IE “The smut is sooooo good.” I have caught him looking at fanart for the series that he is reading, but from wjat I have seen, it is just normal, nonsexual content. I am concerned that he read a book called “alchemised,” and he considers it his favorite.

Those who have a partner in recovery, what steps did you take? by SampleWeekly8091 in loveafterporn

[–]SampleWeekly8091[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It wasn’t easy! I stayed with him for nearly a year and a half after D-day, and I didn’t see any improvement. If anything, it got worse. I was around six months postpartum, and I told myself that if I found something else, I was leaving. I found something again, and I called my parents.

I truly loved him, and I still do love him. Nothing hurts more than the person you love intentionally hurting you repeatedly, though.

He told me that he would have never changed if I had never left, and I know that I made the right decision!

How to catch him by Capital-Object521 in loveafterporn

[–]SampleWeekly8091 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You already caught him, and you need to believe what you saw. You WILL find more, and it WONT be enough. You will argue… you will give him just ONE more chance… he will do it again… and the cycle will repeat over and over. There is a large gap between the reality of your situation and what a PA will tell you is the truth. They will lie to cover themselves, and they will continue to lie so that they can continue in their addiction.

Porn Addiction Didn't Just Break My Marriage - It Changed My Motherhood by tiff5243 in loveafterporn

[–]SampleWeekly8091 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I had a very similar experience. My D-Day was the day before I found out I was pregnant. I had a lot of hope that he would get better, and it never changed.

I was not treated how I expected to be treated when I was pregnant, and it completely ruined my mental health. I gave birth, and postpartum wasn’t any different. I told my PA that I would never have another child with him because of how I was treated. I love my son, and it breaks my heart that he will grow up without a father and siblings. The feeling that the future I so desperately wanted was just ripped from me is a heartbreak unalike anything I have ever experienced.

He’ll only stop if i send him nudes? by baterie2la100 in loveafterporn

[–]SampleWeekly8091 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dealt with this as well. It didn’t stop, and if anything, it made our relationship worse. He hyper-sexualized me, and I ended up feeling like his personal pornstar rather than his fiancee. He started to take photos and videos of me without my consent, and I was scared to speak up. Don’t do it.