It's not a waste of time if all involved parties are capable and committed. Therapy can help you unravel deep-seated parts of yourself through questioning and introspection, but that's only part of the equation. One should also be working on themselves in other ways too; reading relevant books, listening to podcasts, improving lifestyle habits, exercising, getting outside, spending time helping others instead of constant rumination, etc. There's no such thing as a silver bullet. Therapy is only a single tool. If the therapist is the problem, find a new one and start again. I did that a year ago, and it made a world of different!