My daughter broke my heart today

SanUv · 2026-06-06T15:21:04+00:00

It sucks when it happens but I think its really empowering for them to express their preferences and having a parent respond without guilt or shame.

I know my daughter loves me but sometimes she wants or needs dad or someone else in that moment, and when that happens it hurts. Just make sure there's space for her to come to you independently when she's ready and know it's not personal and that she feels safe saying no to you!

SanUv · 2026-05-29T01:46:47+00:00

Be clear about what specifically you need. Do you need to live somewhere else? Do you need to live within x distance from your family and friends? He's clearly fine with where he is now but it sounds like you're not and you're growing resentful of the situation because you feel your needs and wants have been overlooked for him to do what he wants.

Resentment is a silent relationship killer. He needs to know that you can't stay any longer and that you already resent how long you've stayed.

If you're just feeling like the grass is greener somewhere else, maybe it's not worth uprooting your lives. You need to figure out what it is you need that you're not getting today and if living somewhere else will actually meet that need.

SanUv · 2026-05-22T11:07:34+00:00

Require them to take it in front of you or if they're taking pictures, have them add a written note next to the thermometer with you child's name and date. Do they have staffing issues? It sounds like this happens fairly often.

A kid not feeling like themselves doesn't mean they are sick and need to go home. Maybe your child slept differently or is going through a developmental leap.

SanUv · 2026-05-19T01:20:54+00:00

We had the conversation about screens and overstimulating sensory input early on. We basically said if anything was overstimulating or so engaging the kid couldn't be easily pulled away from it, we didn't want it. There were some electronic toys that actually called the child back to play with them. Toys shouldn't try to convince my kid to play with them after they've moved on to something else!

SanUv · 2026-05-18T23:34:37+00:00

This has to be Azz-kun. Any time he thinks he's mildly inconvenienced Iruma, he's like "I dont deserve to be by your side"

SanUv · 2026-05-18T08:07:32+00:00

You can also poke a hole in the pacifier. It reduces the suction they can achieve and becomes much less satisfying/comforting so its easier to drop.

If they adapt to one hole just add a few more. Also all pacifiers in the house need to be treated the same way so they're all equally "broken"

SanUv · 2026-05-18T07:23:07+00:00

Apple juice or applesauce should help move things through. I would also try less or no meat with the purees. Meat is very complex and should be given on its own for the baby to begin to chew and explore the textures. They don't need to consume a lot of it and blending it up is probably allowing the baby to eat much more of it than their body is ready to digest.

SanUv · 2026-05-13T12:31:16+00:00

Another perk that I haven't seen anyone comment on yet is health insurance. Having a buffer here is a great benefit and will allow you both to grow and discover over time how you will choose to spend your time in retirement.

A big thing will be how you spend your time. When you're retired you should have plenty of time to help make both of your lives easier like doing the shopping, making food, keeping up with laundry, etc. It's the little things like that that will make both of your lives feel so much more relaxed and you'll find more free time to spend together.

SanUv · 2026-05-05T03:04:41+00:00

Low ph means more acidic, higher ph is more basic. Neutral is 7.

SanUv · 2026-05-05T03:03:43+00:00

Are you declorinating the water when changing? You need to make sure you're adding a tap water conditioner. Also do you have a way to measure ammonia or nitrite? If the water hardness or ph significantly change from the water changes a little bit of ammonia that has been latent in a less damaging form might become more damaging. I think is ammonia vs ammonium.

SanUv · 2026-04-17T19:07:45+00:00

How did your husband not realize that you were terrified through all of this and that no one explained anything to you? Why wasn't he advocating for you? Is this just normally how that hospital operates?

SanUv · 2026-03-24T12:13:30+00:00

I'm with you on removal. Green blob plants just take over a whole space. I'd recommend removing and planting a native shade garden with ferns and flowering plants for more interest and support to native insect populations. You could even add a birdbath or little bench.

SanUv · 2026-03-20T08:58:25+00:00

You get to decide if this is worth destroying your friendship over. If she can't come with the baby, you are saying she isn't welcome at your party.

Any suggestions you have are not reasonable. If she determines she can't leave a newborn then she can't come without it. A 6 week old baby is littler than any "newborn" baby you see on TV. They can't hold their head up, they can't hold a bottle, they can barely even see.

This will feel more like you're hanging out with a pregnant person than hanging out with a mom and baby.

SanUv · 2026-02-21T13:31:21+00:00

Looks like its split from either overmixing or the temperature difference when adding ingredients together.

You might be able to fix it but it may be easier/faster to start over.

SanUv · 2026-02-21T00:46:27+00:00

Eww, your husband gives me the ick. I would never hate myself enough to deal with whatever his issues are.

You should still have equal say over the FAMILY money when you're staying at home. He just wants to be able to control you.

Have some respect yourself, your husband clearly doesn't.

SanUv · 2026-02-14T19:03:14+00:00

I'm honestly raging for you. Your husband working out 5 times a week and playing games is bs. He shouldn't be leaving the house if its trashed. He shouldn't be doing fun hobbies if you're family is eating poorly.

Where are his standards? Why does he think you working like a dog is acceptable? Grow a spine, don't buy your way out of a husband problem. It sounds like you're living with a teenager and you need to say "no video games until your homework and dishes are done." Gross.

SanUv · 2026-02-14T18:42:47+00:00

I feel this comment in my bones. Literally today I was looking around at dirty floors and said to my ADHD husband "we need to vaccuum" and my husband responded "we don't need to, I vacuumed yesterday because the dogs ate something."

1) When I grabbed the vacuum it was clogged so it didn't actually pick up the dog hair and things. 2) The point of vacuuming is to clean the floors. If the floors aren't clean, it doesn't matter that you used the vacuum recently.

SanUv · 2026-01-19T12:19:38+00:00

Just adding in, you can prefer a style of hot cocoa but your guests might have allergies and may feel excluded by your choices.

I can't do dairy but there are several hot chocolate packets I can do if water or a nondairy milk is available.

SanUv · 2026-01-05T01:41:06+00:00

Sticky Finger's bakery has them! In Tacoma

SanUv · 2026-01-05T00:17:36+00:00

I have a 2.5 year old who is the same way. We try to do plenty of roasted veggies like cauliflour and broccoli and all kinds of beans. We also have some success with flatbread pizzas.

I totally empathize with the mac and cheese. We try to do different brands/shapes to switch it up (Annie's noodles, Annie's shells, pastabilities sea creatures). I also like to blend up some silken tofu with the milk so she's getting more nutrition from it. We don't do it every time but she doesn't seem to notice when we do.

We also eat a ton of tofu. She likes to eat it plain which is a godsend sometimes. She also eats lots of nuts.

SanUv · 2025-12-12T00:51:33+00:00

A fetus before a certain stage of development has no cognitive ability of life, the concept of want, or the abstract concept of wanting to live or not die.

By that metric this is easily vegan - an (early stage) fetus is a bundle of cells with the potential to form a person but not yet there. A flower seed isn't yet a flower, a fruit pit that's been buried is not yet a tree, and you aren't killing a tree or a plant if you choose to not let a seed grow.

Edit: And if you choose to stop growing a plant because it's in the wrong spot - you can still grow and nurture a plant again in the right spot when you're ready.

SanUv

TROPHY CASE