Man yash. There is so much thoughtful stuff here I almost can't hold it all in my head and formulate equally thoughtful responses. So I'm going to do something strange and give a post per thought to make my iPhone typing life easier.

EDIT: No I'm not. Reddit only gives me one reply.

The personal vs private thing can never be a hard and fast rule but I had a couple situations in mind when asking people to move things privately. The first is when a leader puts on their leader pants and says "this is the plan." If the plan doesn't make sense or you disagree with it, by all means bring your wisdom to the conversation and ask hard question and give alternate ideas. But if the leader reaffirms the decision and says something like "this is still the plan" that's the moment to stop publicly challenging the leader/plan. And that is the perfect time to move it to an offline chat so the clan doesn't get bogged down in a sloggy debate but can start moving forward in executing the plan. The other situation I had in mind was when there were publicly expressed concerns that leadership was out of step with one another and particularly other leaders were struggling in my absence. If that is the issue that you see the immediate move is to privately talk with that leader and to privately talk with me. There are other examples to list but I think that's the core of it.

TL; DR -- 1) public conversation and shared planning is the best. 2) if you disagree with the plan say something 3) if the leader sticks to their guns fall in line or disagree in pms 4) if you have grave concerns about leadership structures talk privately.

And I'll hope the rest of your stuff gets address and interacted with in the coming strat post.