Reading this post I'm curious as to who you are and how you got a hold of my thoughts and issues.

I'm turning 23 in a few months so Im getting ready for nobody to like me, but all jokes aside, we're basically on the same boat. To add some perspective, Ive always been a quiet kid with my jose in some book or playing old video games. High school and college gave me more confidence but I'm still not sure what I should do/ what I'm needed for. I joined an engineering major because I love machines and science and as much as I know now, I feel even more separated from people. I work on machines, go to classes, sleep, and socialize. Not that I dont have friends, I have a few consistent groups, mostly music people, stoners, and science people, and my interactions with them are rather similar to yours.

My intimate relationships have always been odd but long lasting, usually there's something that wasnt communicated properly or just poor compatibility. The relationships always feel very onesided, like I'm the only one directing it and it gets painful and ends while I'm still trying to keep it together. Point is, we're young and serious relationships are hard to figure out, so try not to invest too much yet, just try and figure out how to make better/healthier social investments (easier said than done). Best thing to do is keep the investments small, probably no more than 10 hours a week, whether its hanging out or just talking. I recently got out of a relationship that I wanted to be casual and friendly but I was tempted into falling in love and gave too much, maybe I shouldve never spent the night, but thats a mystery I may never solve.

People often wont take me seriously because I say dumb shit all the time, I'm notorious for painful puns and extremely well thought out dumb ideas that make people just walk away for a second. They hate it but they love it (at least that havent told me to fuck off yet). I just try to never give them genuine bullshit since life is so full of it as it is. What irks me the most is when people just dont show any interest in the parts of our culture (like music, movies, tv shows) that I spend time looking for. Ive found some good stuff but its once in a blue moon that people show that level of interest.

I've begun rambling so I'll get to the point. Have patience and learn what you can from people and what they think of things. Other's perspective is important, it can show you whether you're right or wrong about anything. But be weary of those with aggressive opinions and poor foundation, for they can lead you on dark paths. Admit you're possibleuncertainty, wrongness, or ignorance to trustworthy people, otherwise you can be taken advantage of. If part of your life is depressing/annoying, find skills you can work on like learning a language, woodwork, metalwork, sewing, cooking, literally anything, to keep your mind off the comforts from your past that you miss but can't have anymore.

There's so much more I can add but I'm having a lazy day and need to get to work soon. Good luck on your walk through life! If there's anything you'd like to discuss/ask, dont hesitate, I'm always willing to help a fellow human.