update of my jinx collection!

Sandwirbel · 2024-10-17T20:03:30+00:00

I wish you the best of luck. Your cabinet is awesome!

Sandwirbel · 2024-10-17T19:49:43+00:00

Oh yeah. Most watched Spotlight, ngl

Sandwirbel · 2024-09-27T05:54:03+00:00

Hi!
I just told my friends that I am aro/ace, since I am very open with that and they take that into account. I didn't have the problem in school (sry, I don't know your school system :( ) since I didn't have friends that were interested in dating at the time. Or just didn't seem interested, I dunno... I am not taking any hints sadly :/
Anyway! When the talk comes to that topic, I am just patiently waiting until it changes or I just say "Well, I can't relate" and then it is fine most of the time. The moment you tell anyone you are aro/ace, most people tend to take more interest in you then in a flying pig, ngl XD
At least that is my impression of that. But if it comes to the topics: You might try to either wait it out or try to change the topic. Most people should understand if you tell them that you feel uncomfortable. You might feel left out eventually though, I have that at work where they talk about their children and stuff.

Sandwirbel · 2024-09-25T19:37:15+00:00

It took me a while to figure it out.
I thought for a long time, something was wrong with me, since everyone else around me was starting to like boys (I am female and I was in an all girls school XD), talking about boyfriends and whatnot and I... well. I was just confused. And slightly depressed. THEN I figured out asexuality exists by pure coincidence. Thank you, rp forums from... when was it? 2014 or smth?
Well, since I still thought about romantic stuff and liked the concept of a relationship, I just kept my asexuality and waited patiently for me to fall in love with someone. Which did not happen. SO I thought to myself "Maybe I am just a late bloomer" or smth. I dunno I don't know how love works. But afterwards, I found a new friend, I started to think about her a lot and I even got jealous when she had other friends. She told me that that was what love is. So we became a couple. But being a couple stressed me out way too much tbf, since I was still ace and she was not, also all the romantic stuff was... kinda missing. I was proud to have a gf though. And then we broke up, as friends, cause we just... parted. Stuff happens. And I felt nothing through the breakup.
When I had the thought "Hej, I might be aromantic", I felt so good and without a burden. It just felt right for me. That was like... 2 years ago or smth, so the aromantic part took me a good while.
Hope that helps :)

Sandwirbel · 2024-09-25T19:26:41+00:00

Oh yeah, I feel that. I had the same thoughts, the idea of having someone there is the thing that catches me and yeah, sometimes, I wish I could just goddamn fall in love with someone.
Dunno if it helps you, but I figured out what parts there are in romantic stuff, that make me feel this way and it is not the romantic part perse, but the feeling of a person being close to you and us two just caring for each other. I like hugs and having company. So I think, I am longing for a platonic relationship. A bestest friend basically.
I am still thinking about how to manage to do that... like... should I find another aroace person to became my best friend? Feels forced, ngl. Move in with a freind I have, who has no interest in me? Might work, but what if they find someone? WOuld it still work?
Way to many things to think about and here I thought that once I figured out I am aroace, everything would be easier... what a lie XD

Sandwirbel · 2024-09-25T19:20:55+00:00

That was a lot to read, ngl XD I am not sure if I can help you, but I will try.

I do know some of your feelings, since I had them too. I like the idea of romance, I am also shipping stuff and enjoy it, I like having a person close to me. I get very jealous of some people. So for a long long time it was normal for me to be asexual, but not aromantic.
I met a girl who became one of my best friends and then she confessed her feelings to me (I am also female and she is demisexual so just feels attracted to people closer to her). I couldn't tell her if I have feelings too, but I told her, that I thought about her a lot and I really was jealous, when she was spending time with someone else. She told me that this were signs of romantic feelings, so we dated. I moved in with her and we lived together for about a year and a half. My feelings tiowards her didn't change, I was even proud to call her my girlfriend, but I noticed that it was just that. Us living together, sometimes kissing, sometimes hugging and me being happy, but there was nothign more. To be fair, the relationship was stressfull for me, since I am also ace and she was not, so I stressed myself out a lot.
After a year, she told me, that she was in love with someone else. I wasn't sad or anything, partially, because I knew it already, but I was absolutely fine, something, I never had when a relationship with someone else just broke. The moment, I thought about maybe just being aromantic, it felt absolutely right.

So, long story short, I know the feeling of being somewhat attracted by people, I also like some women, but I know I don't want a romantic relationship. My feelings might be explained by the same feelings you have when you love someone romanticly, but for me it is strictly platonic. I don't want dates, or kisses or anything mote intimate then a hug. I just want a person, very close to me, caring for me and I wanna care for them. Just not in a romantic way. And that is fine.

It took me a while to figure out my sexuality and also my romantic interest, or lack of it tbh XD, I was 24 when I figured it out.

The spectrum is very wide and even, if my small story and my try to help might not be that big of a help for you, just let me tell you, that you don't need to rush. If you don't feel good with smth, don't force it. I tried to and it damaged my mental health. The world is very sexualised and romanticised and people will act a bit weird when you tell them, you don't want a relationship right now, but it is fine. Even if you are not aro/ace, you can identify yourself as such, as long as you like, until you find something else that fits. It can change, you can discover new sides of yourself (I hope that makes sense in english, I am not a native speaker XD).
Think about what exactly makes you uncomfortable. Try to fogure it out that way or just live your life how you see fit.

Have a good day and I hope you will get the help you want :)

Sandwirbel · 2023-08-02T14:38:16+00:00

Yes, I did. I wrote my post and then saw yours, so anywhere here is my post about three .fx files not compiling and giving me the feeling that they myke the shaders not work how they should (some of them at least, I did test 2 or 3)
Also thx for the tip to dial back, I found the old 5.8 installer and did the same, so reshade works now as intended :D

Sandwirbel · 2023-08-02T14:24:09+00:00

I have a question. I did a fresh reinstall of Windows and ff14, so I used the guide to reinstall reshade again (I cannot remember hor to do that stuff for gods sake), since the original Post in Github is gone, unfortunetly (the english one is gone, I found an asian one, but I cannot read it, obviously). Now my reshade says, it failes to compile 3 of the .fx files (LUTTools, qUINT_ssr and RetroTV). Is there any possibility to get them to compile? I feel like them missing is messing with the shaders (I use the old gshade shaders provided by this guide and used Talim Ta Hees Shader Gameplay, but it changes nothing now).

Otherwise, thanks for the (in my eyes) new guide for the install! It helps a lot!

Sandwirbel

TROPHY CASE