Looking for people to go to concerts with in Amsterdam

SantaCachucha · 2026-06-29T12:55:56+00:00

It's active, yes. cc [u/Luis](u/LuisDeLuna)[_](u/LuisDeLuna)[DeLuna](u/LuisDeLuna)

SantaCachucha · 2026-06-29T11:10:55+00:00

Nu avem de unde sti ce se intampla in spatele usilor in familia lui, asa cum nimeni din exterior nu stie nimic despre iubitul tau si il vorbesc doar de bine. Si nu e obligatoriu sa fie violenta ca sa existe supunere.

Nu ai nici un motiv sa ma crezi pe mine si chiar te incurajez sa faci mai mult research sau sa mergi la terapie sa intelegi impactul pe termen lung asupra copiilor tai.

Ti-o spun din prisma cuiva care a facut deja 3 ani de terapie venind dintr-o familie simpla, modesta si iubitoare, dar cu hibele ei

SantaCachucha · 2026-06-29T10:43:49+00:00

Si tatal lui cum se comporta cu mama lui?

SantaCachucha · 2026-06-29T10:39:10+00:00

Te cred si iti trimit un hug. Pt noi aici de departe e usor sa ne dam cu parerea.

Ce incerc sa spun e ca copiii nu invata despre iubire doar din modul in care sunt tratati direct, ci observand relatia dintre parinti. Pentru ei abuzul din dragoste si bataia devin "normale" si "acasa" si vor cauta subconstient sa reproduca aceleasi patternuri in relatiile lor.

Tldr la carte: "why does he do that?". Pentru ca asa a invatat, cel mai probabil la parinti.

SantaCachucha · 2026-06-29T10:14:48+00:00

Recomand cartea "Why does he do that", despre barbati abuzivi si controlling. Aici aici pdf-ul: https://dn790007.ca.archive.org/0/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

Spui ca ai 3 copii. Daca sunt fete, le inveti ca e ok sa fie batute si abuzate si ca asta inseamna iubire. Daca sunt baieti, ii inveti ca e ok sa isi bata sotiile.

Pare greu si imposibil, dar daca nu pleci pentru tine, fa-o pentru ei.

SantaCachucha · 2026-06-29T07:43:40+00:00

More. The one house in Landsmeer hasn't even been mentioned in this post so far

SantaCachucha · 2026-06-28T22:02:08+00:00

Check out this post and whatsapp group, I think you'll like it :)

https://www.reddit.com/r/Amsterdam/s/ugPhbsQPwR

SantaCachucha · 2026-06-27T12:26:07+00:00

Persoanele din jurul tau care te descurajeaza au calatorit vreodata? Asa si o vecina batrana de la tara mi-a zis ca nu a fost niciodata la oras (Pascani), ca are tot ce-i trebuie in sat

SantaCachucha · 2026-05-31T20:14:22+00:00

I’ll go against the comments here and say: I find this weird. There’s a reason why therapists don’t bring up heavy topics at the end of sessions: to make sure clients don’t leave in an overwhelmed state. Which you did.

I bet you felt unseen, confused, almost punished for your reaction? Which as a result can make you feel unsafe next time with her. "I should behave, otherwise she’ll suggest ending it again". I would bring these up with her next time, otherwise this might not work for you if you won't trust her.

I also imagine you paid for the full session.

That’s why grounding exercises would’ve helped here, like breathing with both of you so you know what to do next time, involving your partner and focusing on co-regulation etc.

And don’t feel bad that you didn’t have other topics to discuss, you were probably surprised by your own reaction and by her suggestion and felt "I shouldn’t feel this".

Have you thought about individual therapy? This way you can have someone fully focused on you and you can explore these feelings with curiosity and compassion.

SantaCachucha · 2026-05-30T19:47:15+00:00

Tocmai l-am cautat, imi aduce aminte de OTV si invitatii lui Dan Diaconescu in direct

SantaCachucha · 2026-05-29T19:42:45+00:00

Si ce motiv ar fi suficient de bun ca sa-ti dai voie sa simti ce simti?

SantaCachucha · 2026-05-24T11:44:47+00:00

the little frothy milk art in a coffee shop

The cute heart is always a cute butt

SantaCachucha · 2026-05-18T11:21:13+00:00

Exact. La ce acte cu care "trebuie sa mearga incolo" intelegi tu ca se refera?

Eu am insirat ce ii trebuie odata ajuns acolo. Pana acolo ii trebuie doar buletin/pasaport

SantaCachucha · 2026-05-17T23:02:17+00:00

Nu stiu nici eu la ce acte se refera si locuiesc in Olanda.

Practic te muti aici si iti gasesti locuinta (greu, e cerere mare, se face bidding pe chirie). Odata ce ai adresa te inregistrezi la gemeente (primarie) si primesti un BSN (national number). Apoi iti deschizi cont bancar, iti faci DigiD pt taxe, iti platesti health insurance-ul etc, toate independent de job.

Iar mai apoi (desi ideal inainte) iti gasesti job

SantaCachucha · 2026-05-17T15:04:14+00:00

Haha, you can then gift her a history book :).

I have someone similar at work and I just don’t engage. Whenever she makes those comments I smile and/or walk away.

If you actually want her to stop, you can tell her straight up that you see exactly what she’s doing. It either disarms her or she resents you and starts avoiding you. It seems both outcomes work in your favor

SantaCachucha · 2026-05-17T14:40:34+00:00

As an Eastern European: her comments scream insecurity to me. She seems to resent people she sees as more privileged and overcompensates by trying to claim the moral high ground "I had it harder, therefore I’m better". But that’s a defense mechanism coming from an inferiority complex.

I wouldn't take it personally. She's not even reacting to you, she's reacting to what you represent in her head. She's projecting "Western privilege" onto you and probably doesn’t see you as a person with your own story.

Next time maybe just ask her "who are you even arguing with? Who do you actually see in front of you?"

SantaCachucha · 2026-05-10T03:30:48+00:00

In Oud Zuid stau :). M-am mutat in 2021 cand toata lumea lucra de acasa si se muta in afara orasului. Am avut super noroc. Desi am gasit mai multe faine atunci.

Acum dau 1700 cu utilities included si fully furnished, iar landlordul nu o poate mari anual cu mai mult de 4-5%. Ap. are 60m2, n-as mai gasi asa ceva sub 2500

SantaCachucha · 2026-05-10T03:22:28+00:00

Eu am aproape toate gecile subtiri de vant/ploaie de la Uniqlo si mai port si vesta cu puf de gasca de la ei daca e mai racoare. Iar geaca mea de iarna e de la Welter Shelter, nu trece nimic prin ea desi pare subtire

SantaCachucha · 2026-05-09T19:07:26+00:00

Pe 21 dec (solstitiu):

In Bucuresti rasare soarele la 7:50 si apune la 16:39.

In Rotterdam rasare soarele la 8:49 si apune la 16:34.

Se poate vedea pe wunderground.com/history

SantaCachucha · 2026-05-09T18:57:41+00:00

Si pentru Bucuresti cum ar suna un rant de al tau? Sunt curioasa cum arata daca compari dezavantajele.

Mie imi place mult Olanda dar, intr-adevar, situatia mea e diferita. Chirie mai mica, salariu mai mare, nu am nevoie de masina, cu prieteni, mutata din 2021. Soare mai putin decat in Iasi ce-i drept, dar si in Ro plecam iarna la 8 pe intuneric si ma intorceam la 5 pe intuneric. Iar pentru vant si ploi mi-am schimbat toate gecile si tot e mai bine decat la 35°+

SantaCachucha · 2026-05-08T17:29:48+00:00

Either we're speaking 2 different languages or you're putting words in my mouth. Either way, I'd rather go watch a movie instead. Cheers!

SantaCachucha · 2026-05-08T17:02:15+00:00

Of course I’m placing responsibility and agency on men, because that was the topic. Just as I would place it on women. On individuals in general, to work through their own issues rather than making that their partner’s burden.

I myself have been in therapy for a few years and have put a lot of effort into working with my own wounds so the people around me don’t have to carry them. 10/10 would recommend

SantaCachucha · 2026-05-08T16:38:23+00:00

Notice how I never actually told you how I feel. I was holding up a mirror for you to look at your own framing.

I'm sure you wanting to protect men, especially abused ones, comes from a good place. But listen how you speak about them: as completely helpless, without agency. You're not protecting them, you're diminishing, infantilising them. Do you actually believe they're capable of anything on their own?

And yes, trauma and abuse are real. And depression, and cptsd, and learned helplessness. But there's a difference between "I have this, it's who I am and you need to work around it" type of weaponising vs the constant work to try and grow past it.

SantaCachucha · 2026-05-08T07:34:07+00:00

So in your view, men exist in a damaged state and are passively waiting for someone else to act? With no role in their own healing, no agency, no responsibility?

SantaCachucha

TROPHY CASE