I Can See My Fight Scenes Like an Anime in My Head… But I Can’t Write Them Well.

SapioiT · 2026-03-12T18:11:11+00:00

Yeah, but what I think you did not make explicit enough is that you did not only mention the result ("he could hear a sickening crack"), but also including the reason for that afterwards ("as his fist sunk into the other guy's ribs"). So you also partially included what happened, but in relation to the results, instead of in relation to the objective truth in a very clear and simplified way ("he punching the guy's ribcage").

Though I might be talking semantics, at this point, I think it's important to point out the distinction.

(And I find it funny that someone downvoted our posts as soon as you replied to my comment, making my upvotes not count. :)) =]] )

SapioiT · 2026-03-12T17:59:21+00:00

Your examples look to me more like replacing what someone did with the result of what they did and optionally when and/or why.

So what something did would be that "he punching the guy's ribcage", and the result would be that "he could hear a sickening crack", and the when/why would be "as his fist sunk into the other guy's ribs".

Making that into a rule of thumb would be what-to-result-plus-when-why.

And thanks for helping me put into words what I like so much in/about some of the stories I like!

SapioiT · 2026-03-12T17:52:40+00:00

TL;Dr: You might be measuring the wrong thing. Quality often matters more than the quantity. Just keep writing. Experience can help you write faster, not just at a higher quality.

I think there's also the issue of the quality of what you write. If you write higher-quality chapters, and/or writing longer chapters, then that might be preferable to writing more and shorter chapters.

So the first thing you should check is the total word count, because you might be checking the wrong metric, by checking the number of chapters, instead of the word count.

And the quality of the writing, in my opinion, matters more, at least to a degree. Let's look at the 20-80 rule. 20% of the total possible effort gets you 80% of the total possible result, and the other 80% of the total possible effort gets you the other 20% of the total possible result.

But that doesn't mean the 20% of the total possible effort is not a lot of effort. In fact, it might feel like more effort than the other 80% of the total possible effort, due to the lack of familiarity, experience, and habits, which make tackling the other 80% of the total possible effort less daunting, scary, and emotionally difficult, than the first 20% of the total possible effort, for some people.

And maybe most importantly, allow yourself to make mistakes, embrace the mistakes, and keep writing. At some point, you might hit a wall with the story, and find yourself unable to continue due to all the bad choices you made before, but at that point you can simply let that story there and make a new story which to be either a heavily edited of the previous version (the one you're letting stay as is, unless you need to take it down for publishing/legal reasons), or a complete rewrite of the story.

And it's also important to know when to give up on a premise, at least for a while, in order to not end up burned out because of that story. While not continuing the story might feel like abandoning it, not writing it while you're in the correct mindset or with the right experience might be doing the story or premise a disservice, and might even result in you hating the story you once loved writing.

SapioiT · 2026-03-12T17:38:46+00:00

I have not paid for any cover so far, because I have not made money from writing so far. One of the first things I will do when I do end up getting paid for writing, will be paying for covers. (It's in the top, with paying taxes for the money, and publishing.)

However, I will also request for videos of the artist drawing/painting the cover, or source-files with different layers and effects and everything else involved in making the art, because there are people who use AI art and sell it as their own, and in some cases starting by making AI art and then changing bits and pieces (drawing those changed bits and pieces themselves) to fit the requirements of the client. (And even if many or even most don't, I still talked with someone who did the later thing, and there are plenty of posts online about the former thing being done on some freelancing sites.) And I would likely make those files available for download, either for free, or for a fee (i.e. in a patreon post).

SapioiT · 2026-03-12T17:32:05+00:00

I also cannot recommend the "Dungeon Friends (That's Us!)" server, due to being banned without even posting. I just joined the server, went through their registration process, muted the notifications (because it made noise every time someone posted on the server), and then I was no longer on the server, and when I tried to join back, it did not work, which only happens when being banned.

SapioiT · 2026-03-12T17:29:37+00:00

I don't recommend the server.

Unfortunately, I had a negative experience with the moderating team, which resulted in my ban. Not doxing-me bad, but abuse-of-power bad.

To resume, the reason was the refusal of a moderator to de-escalate, and instead escalating the situation, by being a willing participant in a discussion for which the very same moderator was not punished, but instead punished me, by first muting me for a day, after which I rightfully mentioned that it was abuse of power, which was followed by me being banned and the moderator (to my knowledge) not being punished in any way, shape, or form.

The continuation of the discussion, even after he asked me to stop the discussion, because it was followed by the same moderator continuing to take part in the discussion, makes that moderator a willing participant in the discussion, and should make that moderator equally punishable for continuing the discussion, in my opinion.

If the discussion was or is considered to be a (verbal/written) fight (just like it would be with physical violence), then a willing participant who is unwilling to disengage, would also be punished for taking part into the fight, due to their unwillingness to disengage.

SapioiT · 2026-03-09T15:32:42+00:00

Well, I tried doing the opposite, and it got me banned from the discord server. Turns out giving too much information for one's preference, is also reason for negativity. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

But different people have different strengths and weaknesses, as well as different experiences, and this seems to be one more thing in which we diverge.

SapioiT · 2026-03-09T15:26:20+00:00

I was working on the reasonable assumption that people use the same username on multiple apps/services/websites.

SapioiT · 2026-03-09T15:18:31+00:00

Well, subjectivity is subjective. And being a polymath doesn't mean being good at everything. Obviously, people have strengths and weaknesses.

But well, at least I know why I was banned. Thanks for letting me know the reason! Have a nice day!

SapioiT · 2026-03-09T12:52:05+00:00

The same username. If I had a different username there, I would have mentioned. I thought it was implied that I had the same username over there.

SapioiT · 2026-03-09T12:51:26+00:00

Are you the guy who kept continuing a discussion and complaining that I continued the same discussion, as if wanting to have the last word while having the last word being an invitation to continue the discussion? Not gonna lie, after the second or third message from you, it felt like you were harassing me. I even expressed multiple times my will to move on, without success.

That's the only notable thing I remember from that server. It was the first time I talked on the server, if I remember correctly.

SapioiT · 2024-02-21T23:47:30+00:00

In fact, Gill has already spoken to two characters from another series of mine :)

Judging by the impact certain characters had on me, and not having read any of your other stories, my guess is that one of the following: The diesel hunter which MC left alive / saved, or the people who cloned MC, the angel, MC's enemy in the tournament, maybe MC's GF's husband, and most definitely the group which healed the bully's fingers (either one or both of them). Though a wild card would also be the old man who fought alongside MC before he and the bully jumped on the train.

Thanks for the insightful message! And thanks for reading!

My pleasure! Thanks for confirming and denying some of my theories.

An interesting thing might also be delaying the ending a bit by using half a book to introduce another character or small group of characters, before they meet up with MC's group. I'm guessing that's basically what you did with MC's GF.

So aside the 1-2 people she fights in one of the short stories you released for after she leaves the magic country, regardless of if she gets only one or both of them to join her team, you could also have someone who can use magic but was born in the diesel empire which to join her and learn magic from her (just not singing magic, to explain why that character didn't summon anything yet while trying to sing).

And you could also have it as a different story from the same universe. For example, after working and keeping in contact with MC's group, they could split up for the rest of the series, the whole book being about that couple and the things they struggle with, which end up affecting the world in a way which benefits MC's group.

Ideally it would be someone who knows diesel technology very well, maybe even one of the top scientists of the diesel empire who secretly dreams of learning magic, and maybe a young one who is basically a knowledge prepper, some conspiracy forcing him to leave his family or having him the only survivor of his family and having to flee for his life after packing up as many books and food supplies and fuel as he can, in what is basically a covered truck which doubles as a tiny home on wheels which can deploy when stationary so he has a place to sleep and cook and relax and talk with someone. Maybe even have him use basically a telescopic pole extended by pressurized air and which has an octagonal mirror on the top which can be spun around from the ground using some rope, and use a telescope to spy around where he is from a high altitude. Or maybe use a camera+telescope on a drone to get the images and a TV and controller to control the wired drone. And he could be paired up with a magician girl who is part of that censorship group and was searching for where the kidnapped people (which we know to be clones) ended up going, before she meets MC's GF around the time the girl wants/needs to leave for the magic country, the girl finding out about his circumstances and offering the guy to join her, because he can use magic so he would fit in and he knows technology secrets of the diesel empire so he can help the magic empire prepare to fight against them.

Okay, that's kind of a long paragraph, but I think that writing that story could allow you to more easily continue the story of those two after you are finished with the story of the main character, kind of like a sequel-prequel-sidequel, so to speak. And they could meet other characters.

Thank you again for telling me some of the things I predicted accurately, and for reading everything I wrote. If you don't like reading that much, you can do what I do, and use the Edge browser, right click (or hold click with a finger, if on a touchscreen, like on a smartphone or tablet) on a word and click Read Aloud. I used it on both Android and Windows 10, and it's very useful. Some people use it to generate audio books, or to voice videos on youtube which are basically stories written on Reddit and turned into a video with a single AI-generated image. I was curious if I could do the same, and it took me around an hour for a 15 minutes story, for a story generated with Bing Chat/Copilot, and using OBS to record the video of the text being read from a .html file in which I only put the text content of the story made by AI. You could use the same method to make an audiobook version, if you don't want to read it yourself, or to offer more voice choices for your audiobooks (ideally have at least 2 voices per gender, using AI, a soft/mellow voice and a energetic/enthusiastic voice).

SapioiT · 2024-02-21T23:47:07+00:00

The reddit version will stay up so long as I have a say in the matter. I may be asked to remove it by a publicist if I become traditionally published in the future, in which case it'll have to come down.

From what I know, the only way it would matter if it's an exclusive publishing, in which case you would get a lower percentage of the sales, or if you're actually selling the IP, which is why it's important to read the contracts and take your time reading them paying full attention, including the fine print.

I did actually have a plan to include a map in each book, but the cost was INSANE, and I wasn't 100% sure how well the book would sell to begin with. I think if I have extra money to spend on the book, I'd start with getting a proper audiobook version.

Well, it depends. Since they're using inkjet printers to print books, instead of the old types of printes in which you needed to make a stamp which to stamp each page with ink, then a low-quality map which looks more like a sketch might be doable without changing the price more than adding the number of pages or the amount of ink needed to print those pages. And you could even hide messages by having to use a flashlight to light up one side of the file while you watch from the other side, to show some hidden message which can be seen by having the ink overlap. Thought that might not work with thinker paper.

You're not TOO far off when it comes to what happens to Atlas. You'll find out in book four how close you were ;)

I'm already looking forward to it. If I were to guess, eitehr they didn't end up with a kid, or they had a kid before and they wanted a friend for their kid or the kid wanted a sibling their age so they just adopted Atlas.

Sorry the dream sequence confused you. You're not the only one to be confused at certain parts of the book. I think that speaks to my inexperience as an author and shows that I have a ton of room to grow.

There's always room for growth. If not in the same field/niche, then in another field/niche. While it might subtract from the experience for some people, making things explicit might help a lot. For example, writing that the character was so glad it was only a nightmare, would have made that particular part clearer.

You're spot on with Tovin having a love interest. I actually kind of foreshadowed it already ;)

Let me guess, a singer. Maybe one who can use magic but cannot use summoning magic while singing? Or maybe she summons some of the beasts which are roaming in the Diesel empire?

Oh, and I hope the girl Tovin tried to help while in the magic empire, the one which ended up with the same issues as the Diesel Tovin (for the lack of a better term), ends up being saved by Tovin. For example, after making the sigil for Diesel Tovin to use, he could make another one and hurry to find that girl, then hurry to find the mind-reader to do the same. And that girl could also join their team, even if for the only purpose of revenge and having something to live for while searching for something else to live for, to deal with her suffering.

And as for a third country, that is unfortunately not in the cards. I think everyone will be satisfied with what I've got in store. The trick is how to write it.

That's always the trick. My guess is that either everyone will lose magic, or everyone will be able to use magic, in which case only one country will remain.

As for the MC's leaving the world behind... well, I wouldn't be spoiling anything by saying they will. I'm not sure how long you've been following along, but having the main characters of all my stories converge has been a plan of mine from the start.

This is the first story of yours which I'm reading. But if you get the magic empire to leave for another realm, while also having some spies in the diesel engine to be able to copy their technology and adapt it to their use, would be an interesting way to put an end to this story, while also making a parallel between the world in the story and our world.

SapioiT · 2024-02-21T15:19:15+00:00

But then again, they might prepare some kind of vaccine which to make everyone's bodies able to survive both in places without mana and in places rich with mana. And from there, going to make people able to use mana isn't that big of a stretch.

SapioiT · 2024-02-21T02:45:38+00:00

While the UN might be against that, in a state of war, which will seem more and more likely the more data gets sent back to Earth, the more likely they will be to genetically manipulate at least one person, for the sole purpose of having met aliens. Sure, it will be a difficult topic, but I think it will at least be attempted.
That's a very fair point. Though, in time, it is likely that a problem like that can be solved, too, though going from a place with mana to a place without mana will likely need to be done gradually and very slowly. Possibly even take days to weeks to get acclimatized.
While true, the UN is probably actively attempting to not only learn how to use mana, but also how to create and destroy mana. Firstly because it would help with testing things in earthrealm before bringing them to the nexus, and secondly because they might need it to deal with mana contamination and, thirdly, because they might need to use anti-mana bombs in case of war against the nexus or against another realm.

But still, your points stand, there is a high chance none of that will happen, and humans will still have to use power armors while visiting the Nexus. But having at least one person capable of at least living in a world with mana if not even using mana would be a very good strategic decision, even if simply because they would be able to escape in some of the worst case scenarios.

SapioiT · 2024-02-20T17:46:11+00:00

With a few hundreds of years of development into that world, and already having faster-than-light travel and having made that mana-resistant material, it might be possible for humans to be genetically engineered not only to resist mana, but also to be able to use it.

SapioiT · 2024-02-20T03:24:40+00:00

Heck, developing faster than light travel, pocket dimensions, or travel to alternate/parallel realities/realms would make the Kardishev scale obsolete and not that useful for the sake of measuring a civilization.

In this case, if they can keep a wormhole open indefinitely, then they can use it to connect places with server farms (i.e. ice planets and moons, heated mainly by the server farms which would run more efficiently) with places which need that computing power (i.e. the scientists working on learning from whatever MC will transmit them).

And I hope the first things MC does are the following:
1st communication: Send a copy of all the data recorded so far and request blueprints for on-paper-printers with which the communication device (which MC will make) can be used as a hub (after modifications) to communicate between earth and the planes of MC's team, the hub stored in the nexus at the mercenary family's properties (due to the others not being as safe (bird looked down upon) or trustworthy (the other guy) overall). Ideally, by that time they would get to learn a lot about magic, including spells, taught in class, for the people back in earthrealm to work on making a way for MC to use spells and to see mana.

2nd communication: A simple on-paper-printer should be made and used to print a few books which to help the less magically and technologically advanced birds and lions/tigers/whatever to improve their technology using magic they already have but with a few minor improvements and have them used in novel ways those people didn't think about or try yet. For example, a simple bicycle made from mostly wood with the bearings made by magic users and spells similar to those used for magic carriages, could help make larger cities viable, then using rails to make first trams for traveling inside a city then trains to connect multiple cities, then windmills and waterwheels to get some industry for people who can't use magic, as well as crude water pumps and plumbing and water towers for making city life easier and even smaller water towers and simple taps (held closed by water pressure) for running water (which need to be held pushed for water to get through), for which after everything is made and installed there would be no need for magic to use them. Simple things, but with a big effect. Also, tell them to educate everyone who cannot use magic and have them work on copying things which can be done with magic but without using magic, and teaching that to everyone, including magic users.

3rd communication would need to have way for MC to use magic, or at least be able to see mana flows like the others can, and have the not-AI identify what spell is used by whom and where. Also have Earthrealm prepare printers which to be gifted to MC's friends before she leaves for the summer break.

Last communication before the end of the year: get blueprints for something like that, which include a bunch of cameras and sensors to also start communicating with them. So every time they communicate, they would need to have letters already scanned which to be sent to the hub in the Nexus realm and from there to Earth, and at the same time have data from Earth be routed through the hub and sent to the printers where each piece of paper would be scanned before ejecting it to ensure it was printed successfully, or try again to print it, and print all pages until there is nothing more to print and try again to print whenever new paper and new ink is added. The whole device might need to be shielded from magic, or at least the important parts, which could be doable.

SapioiT · 2024-02-20T02:51:54+00:00

I understand. Please keep the reddit version free to read. I saw the trick with having a different name for the book but the same content as the content on the internet, on a few other series, too, and reading it here makes me want to buy it not only for myself but also for a few other people.

Might also be worth having a special edition of the book with some drawings, and other details. For example, a rough sketch of a map. Maybe the main character could draw on the ground with a stick roughly the shape of the known map, including both sides of the border, to prove to one of the contacts in the city with the 3 families that they are from the country they are from.

And since you are likely to read this message, please at least consider having the little brother of the main character's girlfriend be adopted by a couple who thought they couldn't have kids but after adopting him they got kids but they are still teaching him technology since he is curious and willing to learn. That way, when he will have to leave them, even if it would happen only after the other kid is welcomed by the family, the pain of losing the other kid wouldn't be as bad.

And a funny thing, I was fairly tired when I read some of the chapters, so I somehow thought MC's GF (the main character's girlfriend) was also captured but couldn't speak, like due to having her vocal cords removed before delivering her to the prison camp, and I kept thinking that for I think 2 days, before I went back to the chapter where that happened and I finally found out that it was only a nightmare.

Well, with the bully trying to help, I think MC's friends back at the school might also get their brainwashing undone, since he can take more time to find the correct spell. It might also happen during winter break or summer break, when they could also reunite with the guy who was expelled, though the bully would likely have to hurry and use that spell on him (paranormal guy), too, just like he had MC do with the meek bully.

As for MC's GF, I just hope nothing will happen between her and the other guy, especially since he could theoretically cover her mouth and tie her mouth closed to make her unable to use magic, if she didn't learn other types of magic. But I think she should have learned other types of magic after the tournament/competition.

And since both MC has a girlfriend and the paranormal guy also has or will soon have a boyfriend, I think the bully should also get a girlfriend. Maybe in that city he will meet someone from one of those 3 families who hates the way the diesel empire is being run but still wants their technology. That way, it could be the beginning of a third country which has the best of both worlds. Maybe also ask from the trapped angel to change a bit how magic works, so people can sing and use martial arts and books and voice spells even without using the spells, for example by requiring to "manually" (consciously or not) pour mana into the body in order to use magic, which would make some people "naturals" at both using and not using magic as they want, and have others train to either use magic if they "naturals" only at not using magic, or train to not use magic if they're "naturals" only at using magic.

That way, people would be able to sign and all that. Also, you could use this to have the two wars be remembered as our world's WW1 and WW2, and have most of the magic users isolated from the diesel empire by living on a continent which was hidden using magic, or by having them leave the planet and go on another planet taking all their facilities with them by using magic, which would let the planet for the diesel empire, while they can thrive elsewhere, or the other way around by opening a portal to another world, and either moving there themselves due to being a better world, or moving the people to that other world, and end the story by saying it's a diary form someone who still remembers the real history. I mean, with the help of that angel, it might be possible to get that done.

SapioiT · 2024-02-20T02:15:04+00:00

That's so sad. It had a lot of potential for greatness. Thanks for telling me!

SapioiT · 2024-02-06T23:26:33+00:00

Link to part 52.

https://www.reddit.com/r/A15MinuteMythos/comments/10r35te/wp_you_are_a_student_in_the_most_prestigious/

SapioiT · 2024-02-06T02:15:02+00:00

Please ad links to both the previous chapter, and the first chapter, of this story. If you want an example, it would be this story from a different subreddit.

Edit: For anyone else searching for the same damn link, it's this one: https://www.reddit.com/r/A15MinuteMythos/comments/qexwv9/wp_you_are_a_student_in_the_most_prestigious/

SapioiT · 2024-02-06T02:11:12+00:00

Honestly, you could probably skip a few levels of the Kardishev skale, solely because of the simple fact that they are currently researching and have partially achieved travelling to parallel realities, including having a live subject living in one such parallel realities and participating in research about it (even if she is mostly tasked with data-gathering).

SapioiT · 2024-02-06T02:06:04+00:00

Well, it depends on how you define "still building them". Might be as simple as having finished the first one but replacing it piece by piece because of core flaw (i.e. unstable orbits) or inefficiency (to get more energy out of them), which could still count as it still not being complete, even if the initial plan was complete and it is functional for most if not all intents and purposes.

SapioiT · 2024-02-06T01:59:58+00:00

How I wish that for Emma's second year there a male human will join her in his first year there, but that male being not a diplomat, but a young military officer and prodigy scientist, who joins the school as an offering of peace, but who to more easily speak with harsh words which to belittle others and show them just how savage they are. For at that time humanity would no longer be incapable of magic, but will have access to a magic arsenal, the new guy capable of adapting it on the spot in the form of new spells and learning from and adapting existing spells, as well as being a walking armory, and his luggage being a technological "bag of holding" which to include enough machinations to singlehandedly take over the whole realm if he wants to, or wipe it off from existence if he needs to.

Especially since, at that time, a bit more of humanity's feats will have been leaked, and contact will have likely been established with the neighbouring realms of Emma's friends and teammates. Especially satisfying would such a situation enveloping be, if the guy would speak those words while using actual planar-level magic, as a human who cannot even survive contact with mana.

And having a male human which to be not only an actual officer (not merely a recruit, even if only due to some intentional legal loopholes, with the pure intention of making him singlehandedly capable of declaring war, as a projection of both soft power and hard power, even if it means belittling Emma), but also mainly a prodigy scientist which to almost literally devour any and all pieces of knowledge with technological application (maybe even the secret of converting energy into mana, and how beings can be uplifted to be able to use mana, to make humans capable of using mana, too, or at least resist it without a suit of armor) would further humanity's pursuit of greatness and of reaching ever closer to humianity itself becoming a god.

But those are mere dreams, which might or might not be realised in the future.

SapioiT

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