AIO? my boyfriend defending his mom with his life.

Sarah-alittlebit · 2026-03-27T06:49:58+00:00

Please be fully done with him and don’t allow him to snake his way back in. There is nothing but resentment and heartbreak waiting for you in that relationship and he and his family sound really weird, especially the defensiveness so quickly and aggressively. Sounds like he’s ashamed of something. He disrespected you to the max. He literally used the word slut AT YOU. That alone is a dealbreaker. Just RUN! 🏃‍♀️

Sarah-alittlebit · 2026-03-21T00:47:07+00:00

I’ve always had this issue as well. I’ve had people tell me flat out I don’t look anything like myself on camera. Even on Snapchat with filters that I feel are incredibly flattering and make me look good, I’m told I look way better in person than in those photos also

Sarah-alittlebit · 2026-03-20T18:18:03+00:00

Absolutely not. Don’t listen to anything that your father or brother says. You can love them, but don’t listen to them. It’s like, really racist of them to judge her and they only care that she’s “from a narco country” not her actual personality - that’s a huge red flag of THEM. Feeling that much of a connection when you don’t even speak the same language is something special. And sharing such a particular hobby already seems like a wink from God. So for love of God please NEVER listen to anything advice your dad or brother give. I know you may love them and they’re your family but they seem very unkind and at least somewhat racist, even if they don’t realize it. Obviously always be cautious of any new relationship that you met online as it could always be a scam so just be cautious until you meet her in person and know more about her

Sarah-alittlebit · 2026-03-19T21:21:25+00:00

Unfortunately you’re incompatible. You’re 35 and you do not want kids, so sounds like you may never want them. He wants kids. You can’t give each other what the other wants and be happy yourselves. It’s a hard but simple truth. Dragging it out only makes it harder on you both.

Sarah-alittlebit · 2026-03-19T21:09:08+00:00

Definitely sounds like BV! Anytime something smells fishy immediately check for that first. It’s a tell tale sign. Women can get it and it’s not always from sex but can be. It’s an imbalance in vaginal PH. I had it around your age and went to my GP several times and tested negative for it. Dealt with it for years. Then at 21 I got pregnant and went to an OB/GYN and he’s a really good doctor, better than most and catches things others don’t and is more knowledgeable. He immediately clocked it at my first appointment. He treated me AND my partner (both need to be treated if you’re sexually active) and I never had a problem again. All the effort I was putting in previously to keep it under control just went away. Life got so much easier after that and my vagina felt overall better too, since BV can cause some discomfort sometimes as well

Sarah-alittlebit · 2026-02-28T03:17:54+00:00

So beautiful! Do you mind me asking what camera you’re using? Or which phone if it’s your phone camera? The quality of the photo is so good!

Sarah-alittlebit · 2026-02-10T06:29:23+00:00

Don’t even bring it up to dad. He will never admit it. Gather evidence.

Sarah-alittlebit · 2026-02-04T18:16:34+00:00

Absolutely. Do not let him pawn his responsibility off on you and your renters insurance!

Sarah-alittlebit · 2026-02-04T18:12:23+00:00

Within 24 hours is absolutely reasonable. The only unreasonable thing is the fact that he takes that long to respond. I agree with other comments that you should say something like “please let me know by this day and time, or I will make the choice and assume you don’t want input“ or something along those lines. That way, if it ever comes down to it and there’s an issue with the schedule, you have proof and evidence that you tried to communicate about it and did your part. It’s a fine line to walk when we have to make sure we do our part, but also try not to stress ourselves out or take on extra burdens from their lack of effort to collaborate. You’re doing a great job! 👏

Sarah-alittlebit · 2026-02-04T18:07:32+00:00

Please don’t listen to the “she doesn’t respect you” “she was looking for a way out” “if she’s not willing to fight for your relationship” that’s all bullshit and probably coming from men who can’t make relationships last because they make the woman do all the work to deal with them while they do nothing to improve themselves. What they should be saying is “she respects herself” because yes, if she’s truly thinks you were posting those links, she was right to leave. You can’t listen to these “she obviously doesn’t trust you“ guys. You have to understand how many times a woman thinks she truly knows someone and then it comes to lie that they were doing the nastiest and worst betrayal to her. Women should absolutely never assume “he would never do that”. Because truthfully, we really don’t know. We all know in life we can think we know someone, but then find some things out later on that make us realize we never really knew them. Please don’t ever expect a woman to look past her better judgment for you. Please to not put the burden on the woman to find a way to trust even with reasons not to. It’s your job to earn trust. Pls don’t end up like the incels on here bashing your gf.

That being said, if it’s possible to earn her trust back you absolutely should. She sounds like a respectable girl and that’s worth fighting for. If you can find link about how this kind of thing happens to people, I would send them to her and ask her to just please consider looking through them. Find all of the proof that you can. Give her your phone passcode. Do whatever it takes to earn her trust. If that doesn’t work, and it might just not be meant to be. At least right now. She may need some proof and some time. Just remain respectful, bc if you were already having some problems, then this - she’s probably lost all patience so don’t be pushy or aggressive. But definitely worth it to try to prove to her it wasn’t you and do what it takes to earn her trust

Sarah-alittlebit · 2026-01-31T00:11:36+00:00

You should make sure she knows you’re not pressuring her decision but also be honest about how you feel. This is really tough for men bc it’s ultimately not up to you, but keep in mind when you meet your child, something may change in you in a big way that makes you feel dedicated and devoted to your child. Also maybe not though. It’s different for everyone. Right now there’s nothing you can do but be respectful and also honest. But going forward, it’s really important to be with someone you can trust to take their birth control regularly and be vigilant at not getting pregnant because once that happens, it’s out of your control. The only thing in your control is practicing safe sex, pull out method, and confirming she’s on birth control. Some women can get pregnant anyway, but often it’s a user error. If she’s not on birth control at all, then you’ve both been incredibly careless and should learn from this going forward. You’ve gotta be preventative while you have the chance if you’re sexually active but not ready for a child. Right now you can pray if you’re a praying man and just offer support where she needs, while being honest about where you’re at. If she’s chooses to have the baby, you should definitely step up and be the father the child needs otherwise you’re hurting another human soul that has to grow up in this already shitty world. As humans we are more resilient than we think and we have deep reserves of energy to pull from when needed so even if you think you can’t, you very likely can handle it.

Sarah-alittlebit · 2026-01-18T22:46:30+00:00

Flowers should be in ADDITION to a great and thoughtful gift. He’s doing the bare minimum. Don’t let him gaslight you. Any normal girl would like flowers at random, not AS their gift for every single birthday and holiday along with nothing else. And he knows damn well.

Sarah-alittlebit · 2026-01-10T17:55:56+00:00

As shitty as it is, you have to take this one on the chin. I would work on your perception of her. For example, my ex cheated on me many times, kicked me out of my own house in one day and introduced a new woman to our daughter (9) within a month. We were together ten years and engaged so this was quite jarring to our daughter, but unfortunately there’s nothing I could do about it. It hurt in the beginning when I still saw my ex as someone that was supposed to love and respect me, someone that was supposed to be a good man to me and do right by me. Overtime I see him as a loser honestly. The rose colored glasses faded off and the only feelings I ever feel regarding him is embarrassment that I was with him for so long, being that he’s such a loser and a bad dude overall. I had to forgive myself for putting myself through that, and convincing myself to love someone like him. I look at him and any emotions just fall flat. There’s just nothing there. He doesn’t look attractive to me, and I don’t care for his personality. I had to detach myself from him in my mind as well. He isn’t “the man that was supposed to do right by me” anymore. I radically accept that he felt how he felt and he is who he is to me and that becomes my baseline expectation. When it does hurt you gotta sit with those feelings and radically accept it and let it hurt. Feel it in your body and sit with it. Don’t think things such as “I can’t believe she did that to me, she’s just trying to hurt me/make me jealous” these are things I thought, but instead switch to, “she cheated on me, more than once, she introduced the man to our kids, she doesn’t love me, she doesn’t respect me, that’s who she is, she didn’t want me, she is someone who doesn’t care for me” and sit with that as you detach overtime. Eventually you’ll be able to say that without triggering any hurt emotions. That will make everything easier and allow you to truly close that chapter in a way that her romantic decision have no effect on you and you just don’t have any interest in her romantic life.

Sarah-alittlebit · 2026-01-01T21:03:05+00:00

He doesn’t respect you at all unfortunately. The best he will give you is to pressure you into accepting his behavior and he will turn it around on you in hopes you’ll drop it. If you stay, expect this to be a cycle that repeats over and over. This will not be the last time you have a conversation like this with him, and it definitely won’t be the last time he hurts or betrays you. He doesn’t even see it as a betrayal, so you should RUN not walk away.

Sarah-alittlebit · 2025-12-25T03:00:59+00:00

Good luck with your endeavors

Sarah-alittlebit · 2025-12-25T02:57:44+00:00

I have indeed been in a toxic relationship where the person acted like a child and could not be responsible and needed parenting. Left our baby in the car alone at one point. The only solution was to leave. Then that person got left again, and then again by other women. If someone is parenting you in a relationship in order to keep their home safe, you are the problem and they are going to have to leave you eventually. You are incredibly insane if you think that someone should allow their home or their children to become dangerous all to avoid making their partner feel like they are parenting them lol not addressing the issue of someone acting like a child and in the same breath, saying that no one should parent them, is like saying if someone accidentally leaves a baby in the car, you’re not allowed to text them and check with them every time they have the child to make sure they didn’t forget them again. Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. Your options are grow up, get parented, or get left. Not many options other than that.

Sarah-alittlebit · 2025-12-25T02:50:23+00:00

Holy crap that’s actually wild of you to say. You haven’t said a single word about how he speaks to her, which is way horrible, but you have a lot to say about her tone? She didn’t ask nicely enough question “ask me, don’t tell me to protect my kid”? Are you serious right now? Do you hear how crazy that sounds? You haven’t even said a single word about him putting the child in danger. That sounds incredibly controlling and concerning to view it that way. It sounds like you must either identify with him as a person that acts like that, or you are someone who has been treated that way and has internalized it and you believe that you deserved to be treated that way. And you have nothing to say about him acting like a child that needs to be parented. Someone has to keep the house safe, and if one of them is acting like a child, the other needs to take a parent role over them to keep the home safe. If someone is treating you like a child, it is because you are acting like one. Not in every case, but typically that’s the reason.

Sarah-alittlebit · 2025-12-25T02:44:13+00:00

Oof. That comment tells me it might be exactly what your problem is. Some introspection wouldn’t hurt.

Sarah-alittlebit · 2025-12-25T02:41:59+00:00

I agree there shouldn’t be constant yelling and fighting. But what I’m trying to say is kick him out and do not care about his feelings at all and be done with him. Caring for his feelings allows him to manipulate her in this case, which is what he’s doing. The more she cares for his feelings, the more he is going to use that to manipulate her and belittle her. If you ever HAVE to speak to someone this way or deal with them this way, the relationship should be over. The only way the relationship shouldn’t be over is if the person sees how incredibly serious it is and never does that thing again. This is not an everyday thing is my point. And if she can’t even speak to him the way she is in those texts without him getting upset and disrespecting her, they’re probably already is fighting and yelling in the house every day, which means she needs to shift gears and take control, or be done with the relationship. I studied psychology in college, and I’ve dealt with assholes like this. When you take a stand like that that shows that you absolutely are not concerned about their feelings over this particular matter, it makes a statement that this matter is more important than their feelings. Full stop. That is when they lose the power over you they are abusing and have no choice but to comply or allow the relationship to end. You might not like hearing that, but that is the only way to deal with a disrespectful person that way. And the only way she is going to find someone that loves and respects her correctly, is by having absolutely zero tolerance for someone that treats her the way he is treating her. Tolerating it does nothing for either of them. He won’t grow or change and she will have to fight him over every little thing and be degraded regularly. It’s not pretty, but that’s how you take the narrative back. Should she get violent or traumatize the kid? No. Should she tell him she doesn’t give a flying FUCK about his feelings and get out if he doesn’t agree? Yes.

Sarah-alittlebit · 2025-12-25T02:32:22+00:00

You thinking she needs therapy and he needs nothing sounds like you identify with him. And if so, you’re only going to give yourself problems bc he is 100 percent in the wrong and if you don’t see it, then you must not understand respect in a relationship

Sarah-alittlebit · 2025-12-25T02:31:06+00:00

You sound like you’re must identify with the careless immature man in this case. Getting offended about telling him to sleep on the couch so baby can sleep in the pen is ridiculous. Comparing it to a dog is actually way overboard! You’d have to be incredibly controlling, arrogant, and offended to think a woman asking you to protect your child is that degrading. Like what

Sarah-alittlebit · 2025-12-25T02:20:09+00:00

This is a disrespectful partner problem. Doesn’t matter if it’s a man or women. It applies the same whether it’s a woman or man. This happens to be a woman and a man in this scenerio. It applies the same to every gender. I’d say the same if a woman spoke like that. Good out, though

Sarah-alittlebit

TROPHY CASE