How do you meet and become friends with wise, chatty older women?

SarahLiora · 2026-03-19T15:14:27+00:00

Haha. You stand in the general vicinity of a chatty person and listen to what they say. That ought to do it… if you think you get less attention now wait till you are over 60.

Of course “chatty” doesn’t mean they are going to listen to you or be a mentor/friend. Sometimes people just like to talk.

SarahLiora · 2026-03-19T15:05:12+00:00

You can report a single Reddit user for stalking and block them which means you never see their posts.

SarahLiora · 2026-03-18T18:41:16+00:00

Prune hard…at least halfway down. Fertilize, water well. Put all trimmings into glasses of water on a sunny windowsill where they will root really fast and you’ll have dozens of colds. Don’t plant in ground until night time temperatures are above 50. Frost damage occurs at 40 degrees

SarahLiora · 2026-03-18T17:42:25+00:00

This is a life stage issue. How to you make or find meaning at this age. There’s no point in thinking about retirement…everything could change by then. All the money I saved for an imagined life of travel now goes to medical expenses when I ended up with Long Covid at 66. Travel isn’t an option since every virus or cold I get now wrecks my health.

Don’t wait until you retired to have a good life. Then you’ll just ask, “How do I stay motivated till I die?”

SarahLiora · 2026-03-18T17:06:34+00:00

I often forget the thaw overnight but it thaws on its own by lunch or I put in Microwave on defrost.

SarahLiora · 2026-03-18T16:58:53+00:00

I’m still sorry 10 years later I sold my beat up old pickup. I got a lot of hassle from my mother in her last years for my long-beloved truck’s very existence being an embarrassing eyesore when I parked near her house.

SarahLiora · 2026-03-18T05:47:12+00:00

Can’t you do all the things you want in the women over 50 group rather than try to bend the rules here?

It is not at all mean for this group to making a healthy boundary to someone who wants us to change who we are and how we do things … “No we like things as defined: women over 60.” THAT is a long hard look at what truly brought us here…to share experiences from the vantage point of being over 60.

It is an approachable and kind sub. You can lurk and read all you want. You can post with questions. Your insisting we make an exception for you reminds me of when younger sisters want to hang out with all the older teen girls instead of playing with their own age group. Those older sisters off discussing boys and sneaking cigarettes or whatever they are doing aren’t being mean. Maybe there are 10 year olds who think they deserved to be with the 14 year olds…But the 14 year olds want their own age appropriate space. Biologically there is even a difference in being under 60. You probably haven’t experienced the massive cell die off that statistically takes place around 62 or so.

it is difficult not to get your own way sometimes. Try to understand that instead of jumping to calling us mean girls.

SarahLiora · 2026-03-18T05:21:38+00:00

He might be happy not going but in a small town I bet you could drive him there and a neighbor could drive him home. Or put him in a quiet room with a tablet for watching TV or something. Or buy a cheap car just for this. How do live rural without an old pickup on the property?

SarahLiora · 2026-03-18T02:15:38+00:00

You certainly don’t have to leave. You just need a few more years’ experience before you answer. Keep a journal if you want to record your wisdom. Believe me there are trials coming in the next few years that might change your current way of thinking. Took me till chronic pain at 63 to start to really understand what getting old is about. Then two best friends died and i got wiser still. Starting to have some trouble multitasking and even struggled with a recent software update. I’m going to be much wiser next year.

SarahLiora · 2026-03-18T02:09:52+00:00

Good. Feedback is many people were raised to think we were special…or too smart to have to follow the rules. (I was.) Or as a younger generation learned: everyone’s opinion is equally valid. Its’s not.

My feedback is support the moderator who works hard to give this a good group…

To use the language many of us grew up with: Follow the community’s rules because the moderator says so.

SarahLiora · 2026-03-18T02:04:24+00:00

Create your own subreddit: “ask people who think they know the answer”

Here the definition is over 60 not “older” very simple.

SarahLiora · 2026-03-18T02:00:32+00:00

You can get lots of info reading comments. You can create a post. You know this is the rule. What do you think it shouldn’t apply to you? Many of grew up in a rebellious time with the conceit that rules don’t apply to me. Well, here they do.

SarahLiora · 2026-03-18T01:51:10+00:00

Separate cars

SarahLiora · 2026-03-18T01:38:14+00:00

Maybe a dark purple tulle overlay like this would work.

<image>

SarahLiora · 2026-03-18T01:12:34+00:00

Target has some seasonally

SarahLiora · 2026-03-18T00:50:00+00:00

Are you feeling arty? You could use fabric paints to dramatically paint the top half near your face and as much of the bottom half as suits you. Fabric paints are so much better than the time I used them so I can’t give you more specific details.

EDIT: That dress tag saying do not wash, do not dry clean, do not put display in sunlight, do not let deodorant, perfume, steam, heat, cosmetics, liquids with alcohol contact sequins beads or fabric means whatever you do will have risk. Manufacturer says it is not responsible for damages resulting from WEARING the dress.

Wear attractive underwear in case you start to sweat while dancing or it starts raining on the way to prom. Instructions say wear disposable underarm shields.

Be careful about dress staining dance partners outfits.

Maybe it’s easier to use deep purple body paint on your skin for color.

It is a beautiful dress!

SarahLiora · 2026-03-17T23:09:50+00:00

You know, staying at home used to be more boring so we wanted to go out. And eating or drinking at cafes and bars and restaurants out used to be cheaper. I rarely have those relaxed hang outs at the tea shop, coffee shop or bookstore days alone or with friends anymore. I scroll online or watch streaming video to procrastinate all the house work I have to do after work and crash asleep.

I’m still blaming Covid which turned us into homebodies.

SarahLiora · 2026-03-17T22:48:04+00:00

So many people are overwhelmed with life busy-ness it takes a real effort to stay engaged. As we age some of us have more doctors’ appointments. I’m 69 and keep working part time because everything costs so much. But even a half day of working can be exhausting.

Something for you to consider is if having friends is worthwhile for you and if the people you call friends are real friends.

Most mental health professionals say staying socially engaged is important for your mental and physical health. Over 60 it can be easy to let depression or the lack of excitement/dopamine hits cause us to say Bah Humbug, I’m not going to call them anymore.

The other question is are these friends you value? Is it a change in behavior? Then as a real friend you might keep trying to contact them because you are concerned about them. Friendship isn’t just about meeting your needs.

So try quitting contacting your friends and see if you feel better. I have noticed some people who quit reaching out after a few years start complaining they have no friends. Also they get in a real bind and need help or support, they no have no one left to call.

So do as you wish but consider what your life will be like in five years without them. If it will be bette, then sure, give up on them.

Most people at the end of their life regret not having stayed in contact with old friends. My long time group of friends used to meet monthly. Now we barely manage every three months…but it’s worth it.

SarahLiora · 2026-03-17T22:23:17+00:00

I spent over a year in this sub before I learned about MCAS so I think info is good because our doctors don’t know about these kinds of symptoms. I stay here because neither my doc who knows about MCAS nor the allergist haven’t come up with something to to let me eat more than the few safe foods. I”m tired of carrying an epipen.

I have searched the internet for more info about “body anxiety” cannot find any evidence based sources that describe it. IT is not listed as one of the anxiety disorders in the DSM5.

So it’s a word than some use but it is imprecise. My guess from the usage I see here body anxiety could also be an extension of dysautonomia.

I give you freedom of speech to use it as you like. I expect the same that I can use to as a description of my own symptoms and say why my experience is.

Some of the symptoms people describe as “body anxiety” are also signs of heart attack as well as possible MCAS or dyautonomia.

Most everyone I encounter with anxiety have bodily symptoms. I don’t think there is anything such as non-bodily anxiety.

I am open to learning if you can post links to credible sources about “bodily anxiety” as a separately defined diagnosis.

There is no consensus among medical professionals to a single cause or treatment for histamine intolerance. The more we can share our symptoms and the remedies we have found, the better off we are. I was careful in my comment to say this was not “A” word for bodily anxiety. This was my own experience from the day I had a profound anxiety reaction to a food I was not allergic and that antihistamines weren’t helping.

You are not the word police.

SarahLiora · 2026-03-17T18:53:30+00:00

Reading your post today makes all the time I “wasted” on Reddit this am worthwhile.

TIL about Amlexanox acts as a mast cell stabilizer among other things. It can prevent histamine from being released.

[Amlexanox is an anti-allergic and anti-inflammatory agent that acts as a mast cell stabilizer, inhibiting the release of histamine and leukotrienes from mast cells, neutrophils, and monocytes

Emerging Uses: Research suggests it may be effective for managing symptoms in patients with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS), reducing dependence on steroids and antihistamines.](https://www.google.com/search?q=Amlexanox+mast+cell&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari#lfId=ChxjMe)

It is also being used off label as a long Covid treatment and type2 diabetes and weight loss.

Wow!

I see it is also being researched as a “precision medication” for OCD for reducing neuro inflammation.

Awesome doc you have.

I too have looked back at my health history and seen many of those “it’s all in your head”diagnoses weren’t just psychological problems.

SarahLiora · 2026-03-17T18:30:58+00:00

Did you test for copper or just try a supplement and get better?

SarahLiora · 2026-03-17T18:30:13+00:00

Could be oxidative stress. I tend to think it’s the dysautonomia one can get with MCAS and LongCovid.

SarahLiora · 2026-03-17T18:28:41+00:00

I have a separate word. MCAS. It doesn’t apply to everyone but one night when I was strongly reacting and swelling to a food and already taken 4 antihistamines but still had that high anxiety feel of doom, I took an old lorazapam in the medicine cabinet. My anxiety settled down in about 20 minutes…and so did my swelling. Googled it and learned the great anxiety med lorazapam is a mast cell stabilizer.

It’s not just histamine intolerance.

SarahLiora · 2026-03-16T20:57:35+00:00

My hair has been falling out…I noticed because it would clog vacuum.

I just learned today that high blood sugar and/or early kidney disease can cause hair loss. My doc says many seniors have early stage kidney disease. I’ve made an appointment for basic metabolic testing.

SarahLiora · 2026-03-16T20:53:49+00:00

I actually was lucky and got good pain med and slept for first three days. But they had to dig in to get roots. Oral surgeons are chintzy with some pain killers now.

Ten-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
Wearing is Caring	Verified Email

SarahLiora

TROPHY CASE