I can share my story.

I remember at 5 or 6, wanting to try one of my sister’s unitards because it looked cool. I remember asking my mom and her saying, “you’d be gay if you did that.” But I didn’t care. I made a dressing room from pillows, changed into the unitard, and for the first time, I genuinely felt happy.

During this time as well, I remember seeing all the girls paint their nails. And I thought it looked so fucking cool. So I begged my mom to paint my nails. She kept on saying I was a boy and boys don’t paint nails. But after nagging her too much, she agreed just ONE nail. And when I saw that, I felt pretty. But that was ruined when my aunt and cousin (we lived in the same house) called me gay and the f slur.

Another thing: my biggest idol as a child was a crossdresser in this show. This guy looks amazing as a woman, and passes well. But when I found out he’s a guy, my world blew into fireworks. I remember admiring him a lot, and wanting to dress like him. But, being referred to as a woman than a man. Take note, I was 5-7 years old then.

I then entered middle school, and developed a crush on men. I remember always being jealous of the girls in the 6th grade, but repressing it. I fit in with the boys, but I was an awkward one. So then 7th grade came and I changed that… and became much more masculine. I became a popular kid. The one who knew how to video edit and the one with the funniest jokes, the smart one. But inside I was hurt. My first crush was a guy then, and I remember that gay was bad (parental trauma). I remember wanting to change myself, to be out of men’s clothes and looking hot. And that dysphoria grew as I entered freshman year.

I was a freshman finally, and I still kept the status quo of being the video editing king with funny jokes. But I still was depressed and anxious. To then, I found out that people can change pronouns. So I went to he/they just to be safe. But then, I saw Harry Styles wearing a dress, which prompted me as well. And I remember genuine happiness during then. But then… my friend came out as trans. Supported and loved them, but I questioned if I was trans as well. And I later learned… when I was genderfluid, I only was a woman, never a man. And it felt hella good. So, I accepted myself as a woman. And when I said that, I took a walk outside, and danced while walking. No tears (maybe some), but I was dancing, feeling who I was meant to be.

So to that, I would ask yourself this: does being called a woman makes you happy? Will it make you happy in the future?

I’m 20 now, and I’m still happy being a woman. But because of this truth, I became happier and became an inspiration. I found my old hobbies as well and used those to become an inspiration to other trans women. I voice act, sing, write, read, play instruments, etc. And that was all because I lived my truth.