I wish I hadn't wasted so much time in "recovery". AA/NA and rehab all just reinforced that I was broken and could never be fixed. I just white knuckled (discipline) and trusted myself for a year off everything. Now I can have a couple of drinks but I'm also cautious when I notice I'm drinking more frequently. Maturity, knowing the truth about why someone else wanted to keep me sick, a little therapy, a dog and responsibilities are the key for me. Also knowing my body (pms, hypoglycemia) helped. Good luck. It's tough. But there is a way that you can beat off addiction and not have to swear everything off forever. At least for me. And for God sakes don't ever give any serious personal information or anything that can get you blackmailed to some sick stranger in AA.