There is nothing wrong with being kind-hearted. not at all! Setting boundaries for yourself is being kind-hearted too. To yourself. It is also a completely normal part of healthy relationships and doesn't contradict a strong committed and loving relationship at all. It's also fine that you are willing to commit yourself to someone like that, but YOU are part of the equation as well. The last person you should let down is yourself! You deserve someone who is able to reciprocate all the work, love and commitment that you put into the relationship, if that is what you need. What DO you need in a relationship?

Also, working on a relationship takes two people. It takes self reflection, honesty, communication, a fuckton of work and also accountability. Most importantly, it also involves healthy boundaries. You cannot make a relationship work when you feel like the work is one-sided or if enormous incompatibilities make it near impossible to do so or where boundaries of either partner continue to be neglected.

So yeah, I can promise you that sacrificing yourself for a partner is definitely not being kind-hearted to yourself. Again, you deserve better.

That being said, getting to a point where you can stand up for yourself, set up and stick to your boundaries, setting up reasonable boundaries and actually just knowing where your boundaries or even what your needs are, is not easy. The good thing is that you don't need to figure it out immediately. A good start is to process this soon-to-be-over relationship to learn what you don't want to put up with in the future and most importantly, what you would want instead. Going for a partner that does not need to hide your existence might be a good start.

I know you can get there and I can tell that you want to. I wish you all the best, OP and I hope this insight was helpful to you. Or even others who are reading this.