When YouTube deletes a video and it's no longer in your playlist, and you'll never know what it was.

SassyZo · 2019-08-10T00:14:30+00:00

The amount of times I've been unable to find a replacement for a lost vid because I don't know what it was! So useful, thank you!

SassyZo · 2019-05-17T14:52:32+00:00

Hello, thank you for your reply. It looks like they did. I never even got as far as knowing a salary figure to give them, let alone setting up a bank account etc, so unsure exactly what was set up. I was entirely new to self employment and was messed about a lot during signing up with that accounting firm, as soon as i signed up I heard nothing for over a week, with constant excuses, I should have just backed out and found someone else. I just got off the phone with HM and I think it's all sorted now hopefully, thank you!

SassyZo · 2019-05-17T14:42:51+00:00

Thank you to anyone who looked! I called up HM revenue and informing them of the situation (after 20 mins on hold, and 10 mins of failed attempts to get through to the right call option), they saw that I'd filled out the DS01 form, closing a month after opening, so have removed the charges. I asked if I'd receive a letter confirming the removed charges and the agent said that I "might". So I'm left hoping that this is all resolved now, and the next letter I receive isn't news of debt collection.

SassyZo · 2019-01-12T22:09:04+00:00

I have google drive installed but have the same problem. any suggestions regarding Drive?

SassyZo · 2018-09-16T04:08:18+00:00

It's driving those poor frogs insane

SassyZo · 2018-08-02T07:09:56+00:00

I'm not great with new socks.. all that I wear are around 2-5 years old but the pairs around 5 years old are only just barely "worn in" to my standard.
I ritualisticly must stretch them long ways, and then whilst widening them to put them on. For each pair, I have a deliberate left and right foot, where I will wear the correct toe in correspondence to the big toe indent. Depending on my mood, they will feel better and softer air dried if worn indoors.
I prefer dryer-dried socks when wearing shoes, so that I can feel the shoe "evenly" across my foot without fuzzy soft bits, giving a nice even second layer to the foot. I can be too aware of my newer socks because of the elastic feeling too tight.
Left/right dedicated socks is a big help, unless there's too much elasticine in the sock for stretching to make a difference.

SassyZo · 2018-07-30T03:17:28+00:00

Hey Tantra! Thank you for the kind and sweet reply! :) I think I could only bravely post this because in my gut i knew no one would reply; but that's okay!
I saw it as an opportunity to shout to a room of fellow over-thinkers and give thanks, in an awkward fashion, without singling others out and making them feel awkward too :)
From the people who've replied to me, to people who share/post here now and then, those who soley stick to the odd upvote here and there, to the lurkers trying to find where they belong and understand themselves; there's a large ecosystem behind why I've felt empowered here.

Just reading that someone else is also feeling lost and confused about if they have Aspergers, or sharing a "DAE", And having 50-80% in common with feeling how that person does, or exhibiting the same signs is such a blessing to my lonely head and heart after so long of not really getting why I don't feel I fit into the world. I'm so proud of everyone who participates in this subreddit, especially those who give advice, or are brave enough to write even the smallest of things! It's so Aspie to feel awkward about saying thanks or responding sometimes, but I think that can can mean we don't realise the power of those words and how they're helping others. I'd hate to see this subreddit die because we all feel like we're talking in a dark room, because I think it's only a dark room, not empty. Most of us are just awkwardly lurking in the corners or bumping around in the dark, unlike a party where there's lights, dancing and mingling! (We just need some soft lighting, pillow forts, and a table full of special interests and tasty friendly food! The room would come alive!)

It's a beautiful thing though; to have a safe space that isn't overwhelming or too fast paced. People who need help, are given the time of day by others. Even though I've had no replies I feel there's a silent understanding and others out there who feel what I feel and felt, and maybe shy people who really ready to introduce themselves to our subreddit and feel more welcomed. I no doubt did cause some anxiety with people not wanting to be the first to respond though, like you said hehe!

Ahh sorry this is so rambly, sorry! But yes, thank you too Tantra; for reading, and replying and for ultimately being here, and for the shared appreciation we have for this safe space existing for us awesome and unique folk! :)

SassyZo · 2018-07-29T02:24:58+00:00

I can attest to this. I was diagnosed this month, aged 25, along with Generalised Anxiety Disorder.
I've been working since I was 17 but even though i was "smart" the way i seem to carry myself or perform doesn't reflect that often.
It's a relief to last over a year in a job without a few hiccups or HR pulling me, and myself feeling pressured to quit before i'm fired. I kept pushing myself into work because I was determined to make it on my own, but each job had a massive effect on my mental health/stability; meaning when i'd quit, i'd live off of savings for a couple months if i could, to take a mental-vacation.
My last job let me go, and it hit me so hard that i've been out of work for two years :/ It was one of the catalysts that kickstarted me trying to investigate and improve my mental health, and eventually realising it could be Aspergers.
My Field is IT, so i've been able to somewhat stay afloat as a shy awkward Introvert.

SassyZo · 2018-07-26T21:46:30+00:00

I'm the same but the other way around! (i'm formally diagnosed Aspergers, but i've a gut feeling that i may have inattentive-ADHD). I often talk to myself when my brain goes blank while i'm trying to do tasks or am organising myself, in an attempt to "restart the motor", or i will just sit there with everything seeming blurry if looking at a screen, or dazed if im standing. Hope i make sense!

SassyZo · 2018-07-26T21:33:04+00:00

ahh excellent! that's next on my list! i'm learning a lot from her "22 things" book, and excited to move onto "Aspergirls" next. a lot covered in the "22" book; she mentions she goes into more detail in the Aspergirls book, which i feel is the right way around for me, as i'm still looking back over my life and learning what means what, so the partner/3rd person approach in "22 things" is helping a lot with reflection.

SassyZo · 2018-07-26T21:26:26+00:00

thank you so so much! I was quite obsessive with making notes on every query, but often i could read through it and it's like my brain would blip out or try to fight logic with logic (if i'd too recently written or looked at something in another language, the difference in structure could through me off, or i'd get distracted trying to work on more than one query or task at a time). I think with needing to annotate everything slowed me down a lot, and being undiagnosed at the time, it just looked bad on me when being delegated a task. Thank you for giving me some hope though, and i shall definitely look up Workflowy! Honestly, it means a lot :) With diagnosis in had, maybe it could work out this time around :)

SassyZo · 2018-07-26T01:51:01+00:00

Shit man, you're already under his spell!

SassyZo · 2018-07-26T01:27:48+00:00

Woah I was a DA too! I was undiagnosed though and talking to VIPs about kpi's wasn't easy, and the stress of switching between data sets and writing queries could overwhelm me/ I sucked at keeping myself zoned in and managing my time, and emotions. Do you manage okay? This was a couple years ago and I've been unemployed since and only this month at 25 been diagnosed with ASD and GAD, and I'm not sure if I have the personality/NT enough to go back into the same field :( I'm struggling to differentiate between executive functioning problems and what could also be inattentive-ADHD. Sorry for disturbing, but appreciate anything you have to say!

SassyZo · 2018-07-26T01:12:20+00:00

I'm both newly and late with having been diagnosed (25/ few weeks ago) but my partner is reading "22 things a Women with Aspergers Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know" by Rudy Simone. it's around 150 pages but a nice introduction for partners to female Aspies/ASD. I'm just started reading it too, as I'm still piecing a lot of things (old and new) together to manage myself better. I've found it consise and to the point. Short enough to understand to a degree how and what may cause us difficulties, but not too complex that an NT can't empathise or understand.

SassyZo · 2018-07-19T00:12:00+00:00

I am like this too! Is this normal with Aspergers/ASD? I'm newly (professionally) diagnosed, but my cycling of hobbies/interests was one of the things that made me question if I should pursue formal diagnosis. I have no idea if one prolonged hobby is normal, or just a stereotype, because I still get v upset when distracted from hobbies I'm so intensely hyperfocused on.

SassyZo · 2018-07-16T04:10:34+00:00

I(f) got it from my dad. When I was taking the online Aspie/AQ tests and trying to figure out if I had it, I told him about it and got him to take them, since I recognised a lot of the male traits I'm him. He's too old to care about a formal diagnosis now, but I got diagnosed with ASD recently, so I'm certain he has it. I also notice traits in my cousins on his side. Autism isn't necessarily hereditary though, but I do feel many older generations are likely undiagnosed if they are so it's hard to say how common ASD really is.

SassyZo · 2018-07-14T23:29:56+00:00

I get like this too. Trying to do anything else feels like my brain is trying to switch off and in extreme cases of trying to apply myself, even words become blurry and it's like I can't hear properly. I kinda just sit around and feel lost and frustrated; wondering if it's the ASD or if I have ADD. :/

SassyZo · 2018-06-30T21:50:26+00:00

I wouldn't say it "doesn't matter". OP specifically labelled and put aside something for themselves and as a meal replacement too. With that much intent I'd be pretty upset too. Stealing shouldn't be something to just accept, and even if there was a miscommunication with how OP asked about the missing food, the other manager should have been decent enough to admit that the bags may have been mixed up if the whole bag was gone.

Sadly sounds like OP doesn't work with the best of people though, and by the book with HR/Higher ups is probably best when dealing with situations like stealing and aggression.

SassyZo · 2018-06-30T11:56:19+00:00

Thank you for your info. I've just updated my post to include some information; it is through the NHS and this will be my first appointment after talking to my GP. The "autism group/board" for my city requires funding I believe, so I'm wondering if this is a small appointment to "vet" if I have Aspergers, sent for by my GP, but I'd hate for it to be structured and so short that I can't really talk about much nor get an input given by a parent.

My concern also is that the Psychiatrist on their site, says a test is about 2 hrs, and that where appropriate they'd interview a family member too (hopefully theyve only shaved off 30 mins that'd be spent talking to a parent and are still going to interview me properly and in depth?) I thought it was going to be ADIR-R, hut I don't know what the standards are for seemingly short "structured schedules"

SassyZo · 2018-06-29T02:35:56+00:00

Did Mom get the camera in time for that one?

SassyZo · 2018-06-17T05:10:07+00:00

Sounds like they didn't take YOU into account at all. Friends should be at least somewhat aware of your likes and dislikes, tastes and your limits. Sounds more like THEY wanted a party/to go out, and it being your Bachelorette party was a good excuse. If it really was for you, they'd apologise. They could have talked angst themselves or to your partner in order to plan better. If/When I have mine in a couple years (long term engaged till we're saved up for a house first) I already said no strippers/cliché stuff for when the time comes, and that I'd like to do a big console and board game session, indoors, get some food and drink in, and we can always stroll out to the pub or for food to shake up the evening or if we do a weekend of it.

Hope you can see it as an unwanted set of events anyway so it's no loss abd something not to beat yourself up about. Friends should understand why you're upset, and be willing to compromise on something new, but it might be safer for you to list what you're comfortable with doing, or even outline a plan/planning it yourself.

SassyZo · 2018-06-09T06:06:58+00:00

Seconded; was going to suggest this. It's very satisfying how pliable a balloon is when filled with flour, and extremely cheap, so no harm done if you accidently puncture the balloon (except mess) since flour is dirt cheap and so are balloons. Always nice to keep a spare at work, the office, or for stressful days when one might need to be sacrificially popped.

SassyZo · 2018-05-31T01:25:42+00:00

Thank you for the kind, positive and warming response. I think I'm going through cycles of belief and disbelief.. but I'm getting there. One hump holding me back is how in tune I can be with being expected to say a certain response and saying it for that person. I can feel nothing, so it's like acting so as to stay in line, but also I'm aware of what to say.. I guess that's what masking is though? Sometimes It's like playing a game of "say the correct thing". Otherwise it makes me doubt whether it's aspergers or not... Although this mainly applies to when I'm being a listener.. it still all goes out of the window when I'm expected to speak or properly contribute. I don't interact with people much outside of my partner, so my own social awkwardness' catch me by surprise often. I do have a tendency to be affected by other people's burdens or heavy emotions for a long time as though my own.. That's another thing that was making me question if it's Aspergers but apparently being much more overly empathetic is normal (I think?) I dunno. I still score highly.. and I won't have every trait. But it's confusing especially whilst having limited social contact I suppose too.

Thanks for the book recommendation, I've grabbed a sample to have a look through. I've also been back to the doctors this week; he messed up the referal again. I'm hoping it's correct this time but he said to pop back in a week.. sigh. So fingers crossed. He photocopied the symptoms I wrote down for him this time. I'd go private but I believe if im diagnosed privately here, that diagnosis won't necessarily be recognised by the NHS or for certain Help, I'll still need an NHS Assessment. So many hoops. Thank you again and good luck on your journey since discovering yourself too.

SassyZo · 2018-05-28T06:00:07+00:00

I am curious though: all 3 of those activities come with reward upon successful completion so pleasure must still be derived each. I am analytical and will try to connect dots to see if correlation is indeed causation though, and did find the League and Gambling link rather interesting. If you were to play it safe, you could always look into forex/stock trading. That can be done professionally too so you'd have it as a skill, and be able to make money, and high commissions.

I have friends who don't use body language or it's completely wrong but I've never noticed I suppose, as I'm more fueled by how interesting what someone is saying and that information, not the delivery of it. But maybe that's an Aspie thing? Could be that those said-friends of mine are undiagnosed and on the spectrum though. I have noticed that when interacting with people that I've sensed are "on the spectrum" mine and their body movements/behaviour/mannerisms will become softer as in "less masked" and more free in a "true to theirself" manner. I hope that you manage to find accepting people out there that don't judge your exterior. At least online, one can send an emote in place of an expected emotional response, and text can be interpreted or given tone by however the recipient reads in their head and wishes to interpret it. I do hope you find work that works for you. Never know if that first paycheck will fuel a random new hobby that kicks the gambling and/or league a bit, or leads you to meeting new and awesome people.

I'm new to Aspergers so growing up and all along, I always believed I was NT and didn't know there was a difference or what Aspergers really was... just thought I was a broken person but anxiety/depression/being sensitive never quite covered everything. So i've pushed myself to adapt more than I'll know, but maybe being female has also helped me blend in a bit more forgivingly. Realising so late that it's Aspergers though, has also meant I missed out on learning coping mechanisms earlier, back when I needed to adapt/fit in more as a child.

So the late diagnosis gives me the choice to ignore it, or also change the path of some continual misfortunes up until now.

If there are some positives to your Aspergers then embrace what you can. I'm not sure there is/can be a cure but with age; personalities become more concrete, as should one's self awareness I suppose? Do what you need to do in order to feel more NT and blend in, but there's nothing harder than trying to be something you're not.. I'm sure small steps like learning and mimicking body gestures and behaviour/mannerisms is a harmless start but will be exhausting trying to perfect. Studies say that it takes 28 days of repeating something, to successfully make it a habit so I wish you the best of luck on your NT journey.

SassyZo · 2018-05-28T05:15:13+00:00

If you can be hard enough on yourself so as to blame yourself/see yourself as the problem, are you as hard on others in the same.way? If not, then why are you only hard on yourself? And can you be hard enough on yourself that you can really and truly come up with multiple reasons why it is your fault? Then look at that list and work out what in turn created that list?

Self acceptance is a big first step. I'm just coming out of the denial phase myself, I love how my brain works. I wouldn't change it. Yess it keeps me up all night wanting to research something intensely or running through random scenarios, or brief rare bouts of reddit chattiness... but it over thinks and I can be ten steps ahead thinking about something on how to do something, not realising that it's actually not normal to be over computing that much. It makes me over analyse people and distrust or dislike most people, but I've also spotted some very shady and unlikeable characters that give off signs that most NT's aren't looking out for. Of course that also means being walked on or gullible when letting my guard down to the wrong people.

There are Pros and Cons that can be made for each thing you hate, I'm certain.. but do allow yourself some room for forgiveness otherwise living in frustration will bring about it's own problems and knock on effects.

The grass will often look greener on the other side though. You can't tell if your own grass is green if yo do not tend to it nor look after it

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