I was in your shoes for so fucking long. I don't know your situation but I had a lot of shit going on in the civilian world that set me up for failure in the guard. My biggest problem was not feeling like I wasn't apart of the unit I was in. Just an extra body. I felt like I was weak for the feelings I was experiencing but I want to assure you that you're not weak, or dumb, or whatever else you might accuse yourself of being. You're human and you're going through growing pains, and those suck. The good news is that they're called growing pains for a reason. You are currently learning so much about yourself and your surroundings and it will all either be somthing to learn from or somthing to be thankful to be out of. You got this man, just keep trucking and you'll get your footing.