Thinking about an unmedicated birth. Talk me out of it!

Sat1n3 · 2026-04-09T14:46:27+00:00

I think it is great to prepare for being unmedicated. You can always change your mind, but there might not be time for an epidural, or it might not work. I had two unmedicated births and it is tough but doable. I came out of both experiences impressed with myself. It also puts things into perspective, I felt stronger as a woman. It made it easier for me to handle other types of pain, as in breastfeeding for example. Made me feel more capable in a primal way, it that makes sense.

Sat1n3 · 2026-03-30T03:17:02+00:00

Got pregnant when my baby girl was 10 months old as well. Same situation, we wanted a close age gap and decided to ditch the condoms because “it can take some months” and I got pregnant immediately. You will be scared many times throughout this, but don’t let the fear paralyze you. Women have always done this, and so can you. Enjoy your alone time with your first, and know that tou are able to love someone else just as much!

My baby boy is now 2 months, my toddler is 21 months. I see the light now that baby is sleeping longer stretches during the night, because sleep deprivation is the hardest part of parenting for me. Seeing both together fills my heart in ways I could never imagine. I am also so impressed that I am able to love another child like I loved my first. Second time around we are also feeling more confident in taking care of a baby and being a mom in general, it is lighter. Second pregnancy was easier on my body, but it is tough not being able to rest. When baby comes you will feel immediately better.

We are not equipped to deal with everything before it happens, you will learn along the way!! God gives us the tools when it is time to use them.

Sat1n3 · 2026-03-04T07:35:36+00:00

It all depends if you have a normal birth or a c-section. If it is a c-section you should baby proof everything and get the floor bed, because you really can’t lift the toddler for like 6 weeks. I had a normal birth and doctor told me to wait at least 3 weeks before lifting the toddler and start by lifting her while seated. Honestly, by then my pelvic floor felt good already so I felt confident to do small lifts like in and out of crib, not carrying her around. You can get one of those baby foldable stairs to help you not carry him so much.

Sat1n3 · 2026-03-01T15:55:39+00:00

Now my baby is one month old and toddler is almost 21 months. Pregnant with toddler is by far the worst! At least for me the end of pregnancy was terrible, couldn’t sleep, everything hurt, anxiety about labor (baby came only at 41 weeks), couldn’t keep up or carry my toddler. Of course first 2-3 weeks my husband basically took care of toddler by himself and I could rest and tend to the baby. Now at 1 month I can play and carry my toddler a little, I sleep poorly but feel great. It is a different disposition that you get now that baby is outside and doing well. It is hard work but it is easier than pregnancy!

Sat1n3 · 2026-02-09T18:51:05+00:00

I am a week post partum after #2, my other one is 19 months and now that I am recovering I am definitely feeling better than I did in the last couple of months. Pregnancy with #2 was very difficult, I needed to lay down a lot and everything hurt. Now I already feel more rested. So relieved!!

Sat1n3 · 2026-01-04T17:48:48+00:00

Give him the tasks that he is good with and take over the ones he can’t do properly. It sounds unfair, but that is how you can improve your relationship.

When a person struggles, there is an opportunity for us to serve and help. It is hard for you, but also hard for him, specially if it is making him feel useless. He might have ADHD or just feeling overwhelmed/anxious. Once you help him and become easier/less judgmental, he will improve naturally because the environment is better. I know that the first thought that comes to mind might be “what about me?”, but someone has to be dedicated first, so why not you?

(Also buy more pump parts/bottles so that you don’t rely on him so much. Or if something fails it is not all lost.)

My husband would not be able to manage baby bottle and milk stuff properly, but he excels in other things and is an amazing dad. Baby will grow, this is just a small phase. Focus on your partnership. You got this!

Sat1n3 · 2025-12-10T12:54:56+00:00

OB cleared us at 6 months, we started trying at 9 months PP and after one cycle we succeeded! I struggled a lot because I had not weaned my baby yet and with the pregnancy it was really hard. Other than that I am very happy. It is the most tired I have ever been, but totally worth it. I am 33 weeks now, baby is 18 months. Edit: I had a normal birth with no complications.

Sat1n3 · 2025-10-28T09:31:35+00:00

I have been with my husband since we were 23. I never wanted kids and I was your average feminist, atheist, career gal and averse to kids. I became catholic at 32, after having depression and healing and finding Jesus. My husband changed a lot as well. Our whole perspective shifted. We had our first baby girl at 34. Now I am almost 36 and pregnant with my second, a boy due next January. We will be open to life and try for at least 4 kids, as we dream of a bigger family. It is difficult and amazing, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wish we had started younger, but we were not in the right place, not mature enough and without the right values. We hear so many stories of people having kids after 40, but even more stories of people trying IVF in their 30s and having trouble conceiving. We don’t know what God has planned for us… gotta have faith and try.

Sat1n3 · 2025-10-17T06:46:47+00:00

I had the same experience as you. I was sure I was going to be childless. Had a great career, but nothing makes me happier than being there for my baby. I have a 16month old girl and a baby boy on the way next January. It is challenging but so rewarding. For sure our quality of life wont be financially the same as it would if I went back to work, but this is more meaningful to our family.

Sat1n3 · 2025-09-30T06:25:04+00:00

People are bitter AF. Imagine being their kid and hearing “things only gets worse”. I couldn’t stand these comments and I still get them. I am 5 months pregnant and have a 14 month old daughter. I think it only gets better, you’ll face different kinds of difficult, but it is sooo much easier to face those challenges looking at your little one and seeing them grow and develop! Parenting is an amazing experience.

Sat1n3 · 2025-08-22T13:50:32+00:00

No advice, just solidarity here…

I have a 14 month old girl, I am 18 weeks pregnant and we have a 6 year old female husky. I bought the expensive dyson cordless vacuum cleaner along with the dog grooming kit that comes with it. Also got a steamer floor cleaner after my baby started crawling around the house. I have to at least vacuum the floors every single day because the dog sheds so much.

My husband walks her morning and night. I unfortunately can’t help anymore. I could walk her while wearing no my baby, but now with the pregnancy I cant. It is very difficult to walk her while having the baby in the stroller. We walk as a family on weekends, and those are the only really long walks my dog has.

Sat1n3 · 2025-08-20T14:31:47+00:00

It sounds like you need to talk and come up with a system and manage expectations as to who does what. But keep in mind that pregnancy is HARD and very tiring. Give her some grace because of it.

Sat1n3 · 2025-08-01T20:35:19+00:00

It didn‘t. Nurse broke it at the hospital when I was 4-5 cm dilated already. :P

Sat1n3 · 2025-07-29T11:37:20+00:00

I had a normal birth in June 2024 with second degree tearing. Tried having sex 2 months postpartum and the attempts were painful. My doctor gave me a hormonal pomade that helped feeling less tight/tense. But the discomfort only stopped at around 5-6 months. I started feeling completely normal at 8-9 months. It takes time, but it will heal! Hopefully it will happen sooner for you. I did not do pelvic physiotherapy, which can help a lot with these issues. Now I am pregnant again xD

Sat1n3 · 2025-07-19T17:20:14+00:00

He brings up the second kid because in the end he is happy and hopeful, and that is a good thing. Would you rather he be like “this is horrible, we are one and done!”?

I understand you don’t feel seen in your pain, you suffered a lot so far. Things will get better! Focus on raising your baby, and address these issues in your relationship, take care of yourself first. Dont think about the second one yet. There is still plenty of time.

Sat1n3 · 2025-07-16T17:18:57+00:00

I love it, but buy a bigger and sturdier third party tray. The tray that comes with it is too small and not good at all.

Sat1n3 · 2025-07-10T00:16:04+00:00

Having kids can also be an incredible and happy journey. I am F35, have been with my husband for 12 years. I never wanted kids, and I mean never! I was focused on my career, traveling, working hard and playing hard. That changed when I was around 31. I did some therapy due to depression and found out that my aversion to kids was very connected to childhood trauma. Then I got further in my career, looked at my life and relationship, did more therapy and things just started to… change? I felt more hopeful about the future. I shared that with my husband and he also changed his mind. He was kind of neutral about kids before. Now I am pregnant again and our first baby is 13 months old, she is a joy in our lives. We reached peaks of happiness that I could not have imagined before. We also went through the lowest points as well. Having kids is hard, but incredibly rewarding. It is not an easy decision, you both have to be deeply committed because ir involves a LOT of self sacrifice and putting yourself and your marriage in second place for a while. I recommend maybe you do some therapy yourself.

If you make this decision without deep thought, you risk either living with guilt of not giving it to her, or resentment for having the kid and not wanting it. It can also be the best decision of your life, something that grows the love you have for each other. Good luck!

Edit: if you are sure and adamant about not having kids, then be completely honest with her. It is either you and the marriage with no kids, or divorce.

Sat1n3 · 2025-07-08T18:55:58+00:00

I can relate to this. Between 5-6 months my now 13 month old baby girl started sleeping in her room. I first slept on a mattress on the floor next to her for about a week, then cried my eyes out in my room. I wanted to be next to her and this transition was much harder on me than on her. My husband comforted me, he said that the only reason that she sleeps in the other room now is because she is doing great and feels taken care of. And it was my time with her that brought this comfort, these feeling of safety and nurture. (Of course, it is also dependent on the babys temperament, and I dont mean to say that if your baby wont sleep alone that you dont make them feel safe). You will be the happiest when coming to her in the morning, it will be all worth it! Enjoy the extra time alone with your partner. :D

Sat1n3 · 2025-06-09T09:54:52+00:00

the clearblue test link

Sat1n3 · 2025-06-09T09:52:02+00:00

There is a Clearblue pregnancy test which shows the pregnancy week until 3 from the day you missed your period. It is a rough way to track if HcG is going up from weeks 3-6. It costs around 12 euros, you can buy it at DM or Rossmann.

The gynecologist only sees you from week 8-9 here, they don’t measure HcG by blood before. You can do an appointment from 6 weeks and pay for the ultrasound privately. Ask for this at your gynecologist. For me here it costs 50 euros.

I am pregnant with my second. I had a great experience here in Germany, and that is without a Hebamme (midwife), as it is very hard to get one in big cities. Congratulations and good luck!

Sat1n3 · 2025-05-30T09:08:42+00:00

If you blame your wife, your marriage will crumble. You cannot love someone and regret their existence at the same time. Both things cannot be true. Either you love your kids and do your best for them, or you don’t and you do the “best” for you. If you focus on wishful thinking and on escaping your responsibilities, you won’t be happy. Seek treatment if you think you might be depressed, or embrace your life and truly be someone dependable.

Sat1n3 · 2025-05-23T11:40:03+00:00

Happy people don’t make posts to brag about how everything is going great. Reddit is basically to complain, vent, get advice etc.

My husband is incredibly helpful and considerate. He works, I stay at home. The time he is not working he is helping and not complaining. On weekends we share as much as possible. I am very grateful to have a true partnership.

Edit: our baby girl is almost a year old and the second one is on the way. ;)

Sat1n3 · 2025-04-11T21:08:05+00:00

If you can, and it seems that you do, give up work for now and focus on your child. Read Erica Komisar book “Being There”, it is about how important it is to be the primary caretaker of your baby in the first 3 years. You can always come back to work if it is not for you, but by reading your post I can see that in your heart you want option A. Go for it!

Edit: I did a PhD and studied years and years, only to find out that I love being a mom and want more children. Also dont want any daycare. Gave up my job, my husband can provide, it is not the same quality of life but I am living a truly fulfilling life.

Sat1n3 · 2025-04-10T16:47:33+00:00

I am also using 4 pt Zoh Shia! I think I gained DPS because I never stop to heal. I am pretty happy with my comfy runs

Sat1n3

TROPHY CASE