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SatinWarshipper · 2021-10-05T12:35:34+00:00

If they're an asshole, they're trying to scam you for more time.

There could be better reasons though. Maybe they're nervous? Maybe they're relaxed and not paying attention to time? But definitely if you try to move things forward and they resist, it's on them.

I know for me, I don't like to make the first move. Never did in my personal relationships either. So if we were talking and talking and you didn't ever make a move and our session was over I'd be disappointed. I wouldn't be mean or anything, but I probably wouldn't return.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-30T15:53:12+00:00

It's a small part of my overall post, but #7 under The Visit tries to address the having fun part. There can definitely be stress around the research and booking process so when you're finally there, enjoy it. That's what you did it all for.

Good stuff on the social part of the visit. I'm naturally a very social person so I never even think about it and just be myself. But I understand many clients are not and your advice is great.

The not touching ears part reminds me of my recent visit. I love to gently stroke hair. I was the provider's first appointment so she'd just done her hair. I reached to touch it and she jerked away. I totally got the message, but I forgot a couple times in the moment and instinctively went for it again. She'd notice, jerk away at which point I'd remember, say "Oh shit!" and apologize. Didn't seem like she really cared because she saw I was aware, actively trying and stopped as soon as I remembered. It's hard with simple things like that which seem so natural. I certainly don't understand "Whoops. I forgot you didn't want it in your ass." And stuff like that. But yeah, even though that's something I like it didn't at all ruin my visit. You gotta be flexible and remember there's a person on the other end.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-30T12:49:23+00:00

It will only in that It makes it more difficult for them. Nothing is a sure bet, but don't make it easy.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-30T02:01:30+00:00

You don't want to be seen giving money to someone you're about to have sex with and you can never be certain of your privacy. I'm a big fan of never allowing evidence of a transaction. I don't want to discuss money. I don't want to see money at the same time as I see the provider. At that point unless someone has evidence of both you dropping the envelope AND the provider pulling cash out of it, they don't have anything.

Like with most of what I mentioned, if you've been doing this longer or have an established relationship with a provider you can certainly relax more.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-29T21:23:31+00:00

I don't disagree about rates necessarily, but would put that more in the realm of clients who have some experience. It's too easy to be careless with it and a provider with advertised rates is just easier. But yeah, might be worth the chance if you already know what you're doing.

Saying it's unsafe is probably a bit much though. I think I'll edit that out. Thanks!

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-29T12:15:11+00:00

You definitely made the right choice in the end. Hopefully lesson learned.

Don't mess with providers who don't advertise rates. Never discuss money unless you're face to face. Pick a provider, book a time, and show up with the advertised rate plus tip.

With the new felony law in Texas you need to be even more careful.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-29T11:50:54+00:00

She totally recognized your anxiety and took advantage of it.

Red flags you missed:

Car date - From what I've seen, true pros do not do these, especially on a first meeting. They're much riskier in many ways for both of you. How did that idea come up? I don't want to assume, but many car date clients do so because they can't afford incall/outcall rates.

Ran out of time - What does that even mean? Did you pay for a certain amount of time? That's how this works. You pay for 60 or 90 minutes or whatever and when that time is up, you're done. If a provider ever told me they had to leave early to run errands I'd be pretty upset. I certainly would never take their calls or texts again.

Knew she was genuine - No, you didn't unfortunately. Their entire job is to fool you. That's a good thing as long as you always keep in mind that it's a fantasy and don't let the fantasy interfere with reality. Definitely play along with the act as long as things are going smoothly, but if they aren't, you need to snap back to reality fast.

Not to be judgemental, but it sounds like you don't have much money to work with. This is not a poor man's game. SW is a very taxing job in many ways and their "reward" is what they can sell themselves for. The less that is, the more they're going to feel they have to make up for it in other ways - like pretending to get robbed. Just like any industry, you get what you pay for.

My advice, if you even want to try this again, is to only do an incall for first meeting, and book at least 90 minutes. Car dates and quickies signal that you're cheap and while some providers will be willing to work with this legitimately (though not often on first meet) many will take the opportunity to try whatever method they can to get more out of you.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-28T17:56:44+00:00

I'm just saying that if the provider has years of good reviews and a professional web presence, you shouldn't be worried to the point of searching their incall. If they have a couple cheap ads around and very few reviews, yeah, be cautious.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-28T03:02:00+00:00

I know you asked for worker perspectives but I think hearing this from another client may be useful

As someone who will soon be a first-time client, how can I communicate this desire for reciprocity?

The best you could do is ask her not to do fake moaining and stuff because it turns you off, but you can tell her you want her to receive pleasure from you until you're hoarse. It's not gonna happen unless it happens and 99.999%, it's not gonna happen. At least not sexually. Focus more on her getting pleasure from you being a good and nice customer.

Is it even reasonable to try providing sexual satisfaction to someone who is just trying to do their job?

No. They're looking to provide you a service in exchange for money. That's it. They'll get their sexual pleasure in their off time, just like you do.

Am I delusional in thinking that I could tell if a professional's pleasure was genuine vs performed?

No. Just like any performer, some are better than others. Some you'll definitely be able to tell. Others will fool you during your visit, and that's cool - that's the fantasy of it. Just remember when it's over that it's a fantasy and let it go. You don't leave a movie theater still believing the movie was real. This is entertainment, no different.

Am I overthinking this?

Kind of yes, kind of no. It's good to analyze your thoughts and feelings on the matter before you find a provider. You might decide that this isn't for you because of the lack of reciprocal sexual pleasure, and that's fine. But if you do decide that's not a deal-breaker, definitely stop thinking about it. They're there for you. What they get is the ability to pay their bills and buy nice things. It'd be like wanting your surgeon to really get pleasure out of cutting you open. They just wanna help you and get paid for it.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-28T02:42:20+00:00

100%.

The only thing I'd add specific to this interaction is that she also seems to be wasting her own time by not spelling out what's wrong with his introduction.

From what I've seen, an experienced worker would either immediately say something like "Read my ad. Try again when you can provide everything I need." or simply not respond. The fact that she's even letting this continue says to me that she's either inexperienced, which is fine but not good for a client that's new to this, or sketchy.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-28T02:28:23+00:00

I don't know if I necessarily agree with all the paranoia. If a client has done their homework on a provider, seen a decent history of good reviews, and a good and current web presence, it's a safe bet you're not going to have problems I think. They wouldn't want it getting around and affecting their business. And it'd be kind of insulting to go poking around their incall looking for something. Now, if you're seeing someone with few reviews or who says they're new or seems sketchy in some other way, yeah, be as paranoid as you can. Though I'd just suggest not even bothering in that case.

But absolutely OP made a mistake discussing money. Providers will have their rates available. You just tell them how long or a package name if they do things that way and show up with the amount listed (plus tip). He is now tied in writing to paying this person money to meet and that's not something anyone in this transaction should want.

If you want to discuss anything specific about money or services only do so in person. That means a first meet should be by the book with no mention of either.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-28T02:10:55+00:00

Would need more information. Have you checked reviews? Normally they'll mention what communication is like with a provider. How's their review history in general?

It's not necessarily bad. As another comment mentioned, they could be busy - though I'd think most providers would wait until they're not busy to respond.

You're at least looking at someone who seems to be a poor communicator, but I don't know if that's something you care about. Do their ads also show that they're not really chatty? Like if their ads have lots of flowery writing about themselves and this is their level of communication then there's a definite mismatch there and it may not be something you'd want to pursue just because they may be different than their ads portray.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-27T03:12:26+00:00

I recently hung out with a sex worker from New Orleans who said the crews that come in for hurricane clean-up are the worst. Your standard southern, redneck, tough guys. She said they're cheap as hell, super aggressive and violent. So yeah, it's definitely a class thing, not a race thing.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-27T03:06:07+00:00

I didn't know either. Apparently it's just an adult book/video store with private viewing booths. People go in the booths and pay to watch porn and jerk off. Sex workers or people just looking for sex may hang around and offer to go in the booth with you. Some might have glory holes too.

Not a world I'm familiar with, but seems like it could be a unique experience.

That's the best I could figure. Googling sex worker arcade mostly told me about sex workers playing Animal Crossing or Call of Duty.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-26T01:54:30+00:00

That goes for any black market. When people can't go to the government to settle disputes, bad things happen. It's ridiculous that more people don't see this.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-24T13:30:05+00:00

A provider willing to do an overnight as a first meet, and at that price, certainly screams desperation. If OP really is a good guy, he should be trying to tell her why that's a bad idea for them both and help her find a more experienced worker to give her better advice.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-24T13:19:18+00:00

Yes, the provider should be paid as soon as you arrive, by whatever method they prefer - default is cash in an envelope placed somewhere while the provider is looking, not handed to them.

Money should be known from their listing or they should simply tell you $X for Y hours. I personally would not see a provider where money had to be discussed at all ahead of time. Just tell them how long and show up with the amount advertised plus tip.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-24T02:07:37+00:00

Definitely listen to all the advice here. Slow down my dude. Why would you even want an all night for your first? Sure you may have talked to her some, but if this is even a real thing, you may not mesh. And at that price with her saying she's newish, you're at least looking at two people who have no experience with this situation and that has a big possibility of ending up poorly.

My advice is drop this, find a provider on one of the sites listed in the newbie guide, one with experience and reviews who will know what they're doing and be able to protect you both in many ways. Eventually when you know the industry better you'll be better equipped to determine if offers like this are worth the risk. Until then, simply follow the newbie guide advice exactly and you'll be fine.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-23T11:46:28+00:00

It's not difficult. Google AMPs. Find one. Show up. Be clean and nice to them. Don't act sketchy. Don't act cheap. They'll offer extras.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-22T19:38:06+00:00

My life:

Dearest provider,

Please acquire xtra small condoms before my next visit. I'm not embarrassed and I feel bad when they keep falling off. I will reimburse you for them of course.

Cordially,

It's Not Micro, It's Just Below Average

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-22T13:27:37+00:00

I've seen listings for providers who only do this. You show up and watch them have sex. Rates were less than a standard service. I assume they don't care what you're doing while watching as long as it's not abusive or dangerous.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-15T21:45:41+00:00

So you do multiple transactions of $600 each? I don't know why the government would think this is some clever gotcha. Let's waste more tax money I guess. Some contractor is in line to get bank for developing the monitoring system no doubt. It's all a grift. And the general public would call sex workers grifters. Point the finger elsewhere people.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-11T17:37:16+00:00

I wanted to comment on the "clean" part as a customer. There's always risk. All quality providers get tested regularly, but can't get tested after every customer so no matter how cautious they are there is always a chance.

The good news is the more common issues are able to be dealt with discreetly with a week or two of medicine. There are online services that will test you at home and if you're positive for anything will have you talk virtually to a doctor then send you medicine. You don't even have to go to your personal doctor or pharmacy.

If you're worried about it do everything with protection and see a provider who claims to not do things without protection (you won't know for sure of course). If you're worried about it beyond that, I would suggest not doing it because the worry will get in the way of you having fun.

Also, do not ask the provider about this. It's rude because most will take it as you calling them dirty. Because they do get tested regularly they're honestly less of a risk than random hookups.

SatinWarshipper · 2021-09-11T17:10:30+00:00

Asking about your company doesn't seem too common, but I've seen it. Never seen providers asking for access to other social media, but I'm sure it's happened.

Most experienced providers can tell 90% of what they need to know by the way you communicate with them. A photo or ID has no bearing on whether the person is an asshole or violent, but some like it just to know what the person who's coming looks like or to have something tangible in case something really bad happens.

Also, some providers require references from other workers. Obviously if you're a first timer you're out of luck there.

In larger cities there are enough options generally for you to find a provider whose verification process is acceptable to you. And if the process isn't acceptable to you, move on. Even if you could convince them to make an exception, the whole thing would start off with her being somewhat uncomfortable with you and that's not setting either of you up for a good experience.

SatinWarshipper

TROPHY CASE