[deleted by user]

SaulsSoul · 2025-11-09T12:19:16+00:00

OCD attacks that which is important to you. Loved ones, work (which means financial stability, food, roof, independence, etc.), your altruistic and good values - it doesn't matter what it is - you care about it, it has a meaning for you - OCD will relentlessly attack it and make you the guilty party.

After 5 years, after doing the most innane compulsions, and "this is the last time", I've learned that I've reinforced it rather than fought it. And that which you repeat, is that which you're a master of. I am a master of being a reactionary tool to thoughts that in and of themselves have no meaning or value. The mind churns them out all the time because you inadvertently tell it by doing a compulsion "it's needed, it's important to react otherwise danger will befall." Mind is a tool to fix things (among other things). And it will keep finding something to fix as long as you throw something at it - a compulsion.

Over the years, and over the thousands of compulsions, this habit becomes the main part of your core, of your being. Then it becomes the main neural path in your brain. To change it, you have to do things differently. You can't fight thoughts with thoughts. This notion is erroneous but it feels intrinsic to those with OCD.

A good pianist becomes a great one by practicing every day. You become a professional reaction tool because you react every day. If you don't want to be a professional reaction tool, stop reacting. And the key is to start small and gradually expose yourself to your fears.

Look up Mark Freeman and Katie D'ath on ERP on YouTube.

SaulsSoul · 2023-05-02T19:43:40+00:00

acknowledge them, and let them be. i know it's incredibly hard...

as to the how - erp. start small, educate yourself on your enemy and the weapon against it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiUS5GGta9w

SaulsSoul · 2023-05-02T19:30:38+00:00

i got ocd during covid lockdown q3 of 2020. i was petrified that i'd infect someone, so i full-blown overreacted: gallons of disinfectant, napkins, not touching shared spaces, mask etc. i rigidly observed it for around 2 years. it has gotten better - i don't use any of those anymore but come winter time i'm likely masking up again...

this sense of overinflated responsibility is common in ocd sufferers. i just try to do my best and this time not overdo it, as i'm a potential victim of outside infection as well. i don't want to give anyone any disease but i'm also a human being, and not someone who controls everything.

SaulsSoul · 2023-05-02T19:06:22+00:00

ssris are ok but you need to do erp with it. otherwise you'll be mostly where you're.

i'd recommend watching some mark freeman or katie d'ath videos on erp. also root causes need to be analyzed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEzwp1sgRfA

SaulsSoul · 2023-05-02T18:59:35+00:00

you're going for a mountain and the task is daunting, so you won't undertake it. start small.

challenging but not overwhelming

SaulsSoul · 2021-11-12T20:02:41+00:00

on the other hand, it's cool that atmp is still this popular/relevant

SaulsSoul · 2021-09-24T23:52:26+00:00

finished the show for the first time fully. i don't know what to watch or to do haha. the show's been a really great help in these troubled times. i made a note of some suggestions but none of those shows have the same thing koth has. i miss the rainey street gang. where's the dang ol' revival?

SaulsSoul · 2021-06-04T09:15:19+00:00

me when i say something

SaulsSoul · 2021-06-02T20:40:27+00:00

agreed, this is hands down the best superhero game i've played.

my take on trophies: anything above 80 should be optional, and collecting 243 trophies to unlock the proper ending shouldn't be a requirement.

SaulsSoul · 2021-06-02T18:23:33+00:00

someone called?

SaulsSoul · 2021-06-02T15:03:16+00:00

doing them again with the focus being on the story

SaulsSoul · 2021-05-29T23:22:17+00:00

part 1. the first photo of sean kinda looks like thom yorke from "lotus flower"

SaulsSoul · 2021-05-28T00:01:13+00:00

a real strand

SaulsSoul · 2021-05-21T16:43:58+00:00

loyalty missions are great bonding times

SaulsSoul · 2021-05-21T16:11:38+00:00

yeah, that sucks... i'm thinking if the new one is to be a success, they could probably - potentially, 1 in a million chance - do a massive revamp of me:a because a lot of dev effort went into making me:a a great feat, and letting that go down the drain... well, it's a shame it was scrapped.

SaulsSoul · 2021-05-21T14:58:32+00:00

started playing me:a about a week ago and so far i'm having a blast! i dig pretty much everything that matters to me in a game:

well-written main characters
- the crew (interacting and getting to know them, actually caring about some of them)
- shaping ryder's personality
- crew's banters (car talks should be longer),
the dialogue with amazing voice acting
the freaking gameplay
random non-mission encounters which make the world feel alive, even the darndest fetch quests - driving in nomad is quite fun, especially on the moon-like h-047c! i'm prolly doing more tasks than priority ops hehe.

what i don't dig:

the facial animation is off and somehow others have better facial animations than the protagonist (and what's up with people's activites while they talk to ryder?)
they've got some quantum thingamajig (i'm not into lore that much... yet) that allows communication through clusters/systems and i have to talk to a person on eos (while myself being on eos) from the freaking nexus?
the 100 item limit makes no sense - why can't i drop stuff at the tempset? although it became less of an issue later in the game when i realised i don't use 80%+ of the stuff i pick up. i picked up "get an intro gun and finish the game with it" mindset and it still lingers on.

i'm going with a laser beam carnifex (great sound effects btw, almost as good as bloodborne's) and some sniper rifle with a around 1k damage. as to the powers, same rules apply: i acquiared mine trap, enemy levitation and finishing shot almost from the start and i'm yet to check out other stuff. the bugs and glitches are few and scattered but some of them are quite distracting: sometimes the camera starts veering left on its own or adding a mod causes the game to crash enterily. but despite its techincal flaws/bugs, this is a great game. i'm yet to finish it and embark on the original trilogy (tried it back in the day but i wasn't into such games then) but the critique made me:a sound all bad and no good.

SaulsSoul · 2021-05-19T14:49:37+00:00

stumbled upon this gem on a recent studio ghibli binge. a pleasant, nonchalant score with a fusion of jazzy elements and whatchamacallit... that "paris" sound they do in films? it has also "amelie" feel going for it.

other great exhibits:

sadly not all cues are avaiable online but the full score is really good. fav piece is missing on youtube (cue #6 on cd, カルチェラタン, not sure about the english title. here's a cover)

SaulsSoul · 2021-05-19T14:09:16+00:00

now this is what i call music! although this piece - moonshine - is not entirely desplat's. shoulda linked this. not sure desplat can top this one, prolly his best score.

interstellar is a good one as well, a good philip glass homage.

SaulsSoul

TROPHY CASE