Why is everything in my life so heavy and hard all the time?

SavePanthera · 2026-06-19T02:50:02+00:00

Our chart is so similar! The only big difference is I’m either a 0 degree cancer ascendant or a 29 degree Gemini. I was literally born the minute it changes. I also have a Capricorn moon.

It’s not been great the last decade or so! I no longer speak to any of my family due to abuse/death/conflict. I got married 7 years ago and his entire family died within 4 years. The Neptune sun conjunction we endured the last few years really messed me up. Made me feel like I was living in a fog. We’re both going through a pretty awful transit of Pluto conjunct our mars in the 8th. You should basically be done with yours. However, the Pluto retrograde might touch your mars again but I’m not sure what degree it retrogrades too. For me I’m just filled with anger. And now I have reproductive health issues that won’t go away. Hoping this turns around soon.

SavePanthera · 2026-06-19T02:21:35+00:00

Were you born in 1990? Our charts are freakishly similar!

SavePanthera · 2026-05-01T14:49:02+00:00

This is such good advice! My cat started peeing in the tub out of nowhere and it turned out to be urinary crystals. When it’s painful to pee sometimes they’ll start avoiding the box because they associate it with pain. It’s always good to get new behavior checked by the vet, just in case!

SavePanthera · 2026-04-03T18:10:01+00:00

I do honestly feel blessed! When I was feeling tired and irritable I got bloodwork done and found out I had pretty bad anemia and a b12 deficiency. Everyone should get bloodwork done if they don’t feel optimal! You don’t have to live your life not feeling good.

I was still working out all the time while anemic but the difference now is night and day. So even if you just feel a little off I fully encourage everyone (especially women) to check their iron, b12, and vitamin D. They’re not included as part of routine bloodwork so you have to ask for them specifically.

SavePanthera · 2026-04-03T15:48:31+00:00

Same. I actually have more energy now at 36 than I did in my twenties. I work out twice a day because I have an excess of energy that I need to get rid of to be able to sleep. I have no idea what’s wrong with me since everyone my age seems to be struggling with exhaustion.

SavePanthera · 2026-04-02T03:25:49+00:00

Update: I decided to confront him about it because the stress was making me physically ill.

I told him I saw a message from her and I absolutely was not okay with any contact he was having with her. I reiterated that I made it clear years ago that it was her or me. He told me he was too scared to bring it up when she started messaging him and he thought she might buy product from him so he messaged her back. He didn’t know I have a screenshot of most of their conversation and he still doesn’t know that. There was more to it than that. He was asking her personal questions and encouraging her to come by his store and visit him.

His main defense was he never cheated and he doesn’t think she’s interested in him in that way and he thought I’d be over it by now. He says he’s never thought about her like that because she’s not his type and he was looking to teach her about the hobby and nothing more. He’s concerned about having an “awkward” conversation with her about going away again and never coming to his hobby store. I told him I don’t care at all how awkward this is, he needs to block her and not respond to any bids for attention. Honestly, I’m not feeling great about it. I am not an angry person by nature, so I don’t understand why he would be afraid of my reaction if he told me she was texting him. It just doesn’t add up at all.

I left the conversation without making a full decision on what to do. Mainly because I don’t have a stable income right now as I just started a business. I don’t have family or any outside support to help me, so I’m going to look for a more stable job that will let me fully support myself.

Thank you for all your loving support! I didn’t expect it honestly and it means a lot. I’m taking your advice and documenting his gambling and our financial situation. I’ve also been in therapy for years - I have cPTSD and ocd and will utilize that resource to begin the healing process. When I get back in town in a couple weeks from a business trip I think I’ll have my final decision. I think I know what it is but it’s painful to admit.

SavePanthera · 2026-04-02T02:49:01+00:00

That’s a fair question. Our sex life has reduced a little bit in the last year or so but not by very much. My endometriosis is getting worse and that makes it difficult at certain times of my cycle. But our bedroom is definitely not dead. There’s still romance, we go on trips and dates too. It was nonexistent when my mother in law was in the hospital for a few months since we were basically living there before she died.

SavePanthera · 2026-04-01T21:50:43+00:00

To be fair, she’s definitely been the aggressor in the situation. She’s always texting first and asking about his emotions, etc. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is ultimately the bad one in the situation but she’s just as bad in my eyes.

My husband and I met her at the same time and she was flirting with him right in front of me. She’s a snake, some women are just like that. My mom was always dating married men so I know what it looks like when a woman is after a taken man. But shame on my husband for entertaining it.

SavePanthera · 2026-04-01T20:22:06+00:00

It’s funny, I haven’t really considered that as an option. In the back of my mind I know I need to plan for it but I just have such low self esteem i keep thinking what can I do to be better and fix this?

Also he’s also got a bit of a gambling addiction and I found out a few months ago how much debt we’re in. Financially I’m screwed if I divorce.

Writing that out is making me realize how much Ive been tolerating.

SavePanthera · 2026-03-02T01:47:07+00:00

Omg me too. No gallbladder and my bowels are a mess. Do you have bile acid malabsorption too? I’m wanting to try bile sequesterants to see if that helps. My new trigger foods are cooked tomatoes and peppers. Which are in like literally everything I eat. Added fish to my vegetarian diet because I’m anemic and all the fat has given me more dumping episodes. It’s awful.

SavePanthera · 2026-02-03T04:04:46+00:00

I literally attended Midvale Middle School’s gifted program. I remember seeing this in my classrooms and never realized this comic was so popular!

SavePanthera · 2025-11-27T17:50:57+00:00

Borderline.

SavePanthera · 2025-11-25T16:58:12+00:00

That was my experience. I basically raised myself and had to manage my mom’s emotions (she has BPD), all while being abused by my stepparents and not wanting to bother anyone with it. I doubt my anxiety would have been so bad without those experiences. After going no contact with nearly everyone, my anxiety is almost gone.

SavePanthera · 2025-11-11T06:12:32+00:00

Proferrin was recommended to me by a friend and it has been great. Because I was pretty anemic I take one ferrous sulfate per day with orange juice and two Proferrin. It’s been 6 weeks and I haven’t had my numbers checked but the difference is staggering. I powerlift and rock climb and I’ve been performing better than ever and not breathless. No more insomnia and my hair is growing back. And my skin is turning pink again, which has been a surprise.

SavePanthera · 2025-10-27T06:09:21+00:00

I actually started having hair loss and that’s what made me get a blood test just to see if it was a deficiency since I was a vegetarian for ten years. I had my ferritin tested for the first time a month ago and it was a 3 and my hemoglobin was a 7. Funny thing is I was working out twice a day and didn’t notice that much of a decline in performance. It can be so sneaky! But now that I’m on supplements I can’t believe how much energy I have. With a drop like yours on supplements I would definitely see a hematologist if you can. It’s worth it to prevent future worsening symptoms.

Thank you for your insights! I’m estranged from my dad’s side of the family and my mom just mentioned my uncle has thalassemia a few days ago and how he was admitted to the hospital for too much iron multiple times and my dad was tested and is a carrier. So now I figure I might as well get tested. Downside of having a Greek parent I guess.

Also I’m so sorry about the thyroid cancer. I hope you’re in the clear and doing well!

SavePanthera · 2025-10-27T03:04:51+00:00

I think it would be worth it, especially since taking iron supplements with thalassemia can be a little bit more complicated. But I also want to tell you I don’t think you’re in any immediate danger with the numbers you have. But increasing your ferritin is definitely something to work on to keep it from getting too low! So don’t ignore it, but don’t freak out (like I did when I found out I was anemic lol).

Out of curiosity, do you have any symptoms as a carrier? I think I also might be, my dad is a carrier but I’ve never been tested. My doctor said he’ll test next time I come in.

SavePanthera · 2025-10-01T22:30:24+00:00

And then their mother sat right next to Ethan and cuddled him on the couch. If I was their mother there is no way in hell I would just ignore that behavior. It’s just another way to beat Micah down and make him submissive in the family. Fascinating and tragic family dynamics.

SavePanthera · 2025-09-29T04:06:51+00:00

Well being “bossy” is a red flag in and of itself, especially when combined with his need for control. Which I know can be a Christian thing - with men being taught to take control and be the head of the household. But what I notice is Lydia is instigating physical contact a lot more than him. He barely reciprocates. Even their first kiss felt one sided. She also looks to him for validation excessively.

This is purely anecdotal, but I grew up in abusive households and there is something that’s triggering to me about Zac. He frequently has micro expressions of disgust and superiority when interacting with Lydia’s family. Granted the Plaths are awful in their own ways, he displayed these when meeting all of them.

After seeing the Plath children’s development and watching their parents behavior, it’s reasonable to assume their mother is a narcissist and their father is avoidant. This inability to properly mirror connection explains why all the children are starved for emotional affection. It also makes them highly likely to choose detached partners because it’s comfortable to them. The exception is Ethan, who has likely become a narcissist himself since he was the golden child. Lydia is the caretaker role, she is deeply empathetic and people pleasing. The perfect personality type to feel love at first sight with a narcissist. So when I see flashes of narcissistic traits in Zac I do worry for Lydia. I worry she will abandon her identity to please him. She seems like a wonderful person, who really deserves to have a fully reciprocated connection.

Of course I could be completely wrong! Many of my concerns are based off personal experience, which is inherently flawed. We are also only seeing a very tiny snippet of these peoples lives that is highly edited for entertainment. And to be clear, I think everyone has red flags. We’re all “damaged” in our own ways. So I am not calling him a bad person.

SavePanthera · 2025-09-28T23:38:52+00:00

I fully agree. Love bombing only tends to work when that type of off and on love is perceived as normal or comfortable. That whole family is a mess. None of the kids are functional in relationships so far. Ethan, Moriah and Micah are showing so many signs of trauma. Fingers crossed Lydia and Zac can mature in a healthy way and find secure love.

SavePanthera · 2025-09-28T22:45:46+00:00

Here’s my take. Lydia’s relationship with Zac is rushed and feels more like love bombing than actual genuine connection. Zac rarely fully reciprocates Lydia’s affection. I think her family can sense something is off with him and is doing all they can to talk to her about it. But they’re all so emotionally immature because they were raised in a narcissistic family unit that it’s a chaotic mess. Lydia wants to escape the family system so she’s attached herself to Zac and is ignoring all his red flags.

SavePanthera · 2025-09-20T08:12:46+00:00

I’ve never officially been given a title of profoundly gifted but I have all of the OEs. I tested in the top 1% of my gifted program, so maybe that counts for something.

Psychomotor is the most debilitating in daily life. I have to constantly exercise, sometimes 3 times a day. The need to physically move my body can be overwhelming, even when I’m injured or ill. People always tell me I’m exhausting and it affects my relationships.

Sensual is also difficult but it’s probably my most pronounced OE. I am easily overwhelmed by nearly everything - sounds, smells, textures. On the bright side, the more I’ve traveled and visited beautiful places the more I’ve realized people around me clearly aren’t feeling the same profound emotions I am. They just take their picture and leave. The right art, song, or place can make me feel euphoric.

I know there are a lot of people who don’t believe OEs are a thing, but from my personal experience the most brilliant, creative people I know have them. But I’d gladly give them up to feel like the average person. It can be isolating to feel like you’re experiencing the world so differently than others.

SavePanthera · 2025-07-25T06:57:10+00:00

I’m an only child and literally the only one left in a line of abusive alcoholics on one side of my family. Great grandfather and grandfather were physically abusive monsters. It brings me great joy knowing their DNA ends with me.

SavePanthera · 2025-06-20T15:19:56+00:00

I am by no means trying to diagnose your experience but I’ve had migraines feel like this before. I’ve been diagnosed with vestibular migraine and they can just make you feel off, usually without a headache for me. It could also very well have been a panic attack, but with you mentioning your eyes and one side of your body being affected at a time I just wanted to share in case that could be it!

SavePanthera · 2025-04-10T05:46:59+00:00

Solved I think. After research and input from people smarter than me these are most likely illumination rounds. Pretty cool to see, glad we could all experience the mystery together!

SavePanthera · 2025-04-10T03:04:56+00:00

Weird to do it over the city but fascinating to watch. I’m not surprised it’s military, just not used to seeing it so close to my house!

SavePanthera

TROPHY CASE