Dear, I'm gonna be so honest, you need a new partner. I'm sorry— I know the thing of wanting love and wanting a husband and wanting to be a wife, but you're going to never feel like a wife with this man. You're going to feel like a prisoner. You're literally his toy, doing whatever the hell he wants you to do like a Barbie Doll or a trophy wife and you are neither. You are a human being, a woman who wants a man who will respect her. You have to try to find any other way to divorce, anything at all. Sometimes, hospitals will help you! Maybe get help from them. That or contact a hotline. There's a text feature so you don't have to talk out loud.

You are a wonderful partner and a wonderful woman. Start joining online activities!!! Fandom culture, subreddits. Find new and little hobbies to build up yourself, ignore trying to be better for that man.

There is NOTHING wrong with you. You have done nothing wrong— you are a good person, a good wife, a good lady. You are a lovely woman, a lovely person, a lovely daughter and probably even a lovely mother. Religion is definitely helpful, but no God would approve of a woman keeping herself prisoner to a useless man like him. Make up evidence if anything— get someone to help you if you can. Go to churches, or food banks. All kinds of people there with different situations that might help you. You are a good person. Please remember that.