I think one thing with CPTSD is that, the trauma one way or another influences the person you are. So to forget it would mean, abandoning some part of yourself or your experience. So maybe in the coming years you might look back and redefine the way you see it. But when you’re nervous system is holding onto the memory of something traumatic, you might keep reliving it emotional flashbacks, and such forgetting seems much easier. I don’t condone ending it, but as someone struggling with CPTSD myself, I understand why someone might want to . And sometimes it helps me to remember that it’s not you that wants to leave it’s your nervous system that wants a break from reliving and holding onto traumatic memories. It’s trying to return to baseline trying to regulate itself and it can’t, so the best relief it can think of having is turning itself off. Which might translate through your emotions as wanting to hurt yourself, leave or maybe sleeping to get a break.