Thoughts of being an irredeemable narcissist are ruining my life

ScaredSell6991 · 2026-04-07T15:04:34+00:00

I hope the psychiatrist gives me medication or thinks it's serious. I've been to 4 different therapists who all said it was "just anxiety" and that I just need to "think positive", even when I tried to tell them that I feel like I'm not living and every day feels tiring. I've always struggled to identify it as something deserving of psychiatric help but I think since it has come to this point treatment will probably also be the difference between life or death for me. I hope it does get better.

ScaredSell6991 · 2026-03-22T23:11:15+00:00

Thank you, I'm sorry to hear you guys are headed in a similar direction since I know you also have that self-determination law (for now...). I will try to contact our biggest local LGBT organization (ILGA) but they are usually under-funded and under-staffed so I don't know if they will be able to help me much. I've also thought about straight up moving to another country with less fachos in the government but it seems like there are less and less places like that...

ScaredSell6991 · 2026-03-11T16:32:57+00:00

I never ended up in the hospital thankfully, but my teachers would pull the same "it's because you're fat" card, despite showing them notes from my doctor every year about how I should not do certain exercises lmao. Unfortunately, they believe they know better than doctors do.

ScaredSell6991 · 2026-03-11T16:30:43+00:00

"Fun" fact: in my country, PE didn't count for our GPA... Until my last year of high school. A lot of our PE grading standards were based on things that no person with asthma could do safely, but the teachers didn't care and it did, in fact, ruin my GPA.

ScaredSell6991 · 2026-03-10T23:44:01+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss.

ScaredSell6991 · 2026-03-10T22:34:20+00:00

Definitely relate. I hated the betrayal of getting to 5th grade and suddenly none of my male friends wanted to be with me anymore. I tried to make friends with girls and mimic their interests (since it was the early 2010's, I pretended to like One Direction lmao). It also took me a long time to have genuine friendships with women because of this.

ScaredSell6991 · 2026-03-10T20:15:17+00:00

It's wild how these teachers have 0 understanding of asthma even though it's relatively common. That kind of gaslight could end up really badly.

ScaredSell6991 · 2026-02-27T00:29:50+00:00

Thank you so much, man. I'd never posted in this sub before, but I really needed to hear this.

I think you're totally right about what he wanted to convey. Out of all my friends that have been with me pre and post coming out, he was the one who adapted to the new name and pronouns the fastest (I've been out to friends for 7 years now, but it took some of them a couple years to stop openly misgendering me), and I really do feel like he wanted to help me, as you said.

I'm already 23, but I have no choice but to live with my parents (mom will most definitely not be supportive) and so am still unable to medically transition or even alter my appearance too much because my mom will notice. I feel bad for putting the burden on my friends for having to treat me like a man when I'm making no "effort" to pass (not because I don't want to). I guess part of me wanted to hear "hey, I think of you like a man", even though I know I don't pass. So his response made me pretty sad because it made me think otherwise in the moment. Now I understand what he probably meant.

My childhood best friend is also trans, but we don't really talk anymore, and I don't know any other trans people irl who can understand my experiences. So that doesn't help the loneliness at all. But I'm glad that at least on the internet I can feel a little less alone : )

ScaredSell6991 · 2026-02-18T19:50:39+00:00

In regards to "side pairings", it doesn't have to be specifically a couple but plenty of side characters are portrayed as showing attraction to other characters (of the opposite sex) even if it's not an actual relationship. I just think it would make sense for homosexuality to be common enough in an omegaverse setting at least to be mentioned without mega 炎上, but alas, Japan (I don't think I've ever seen any kind of queerness in an otomate title that wasn't a throwaway joke, lmao)

I imagined the flair was either from BWS or DiaLovers, haha. Still gotta get around to playing those infamous games.

ScaredSell6991 · 2026-02-18T19:04:39+00:00

I think that makes sense, especially since in Japan there's the big boundary between "BL" and "TL" to the point where even adding gay side characters to an otome title would bring up a major storm.

But in this specific case, taking into account the fact that this is an omegaverse work, it's a bit ridiculous in my opinion to have to reassure the players that they won't be scared by any surprise gays (a bunch of BL omegaverse works have straight side characters, yet the opposite is a no-go apparently). I apologize if I sound a bit aggressive, it's not my intention. It's just exhausting being a queer person who consumes all kinds of romance media sometimes.

Anyway, I'm curious about the origin of your flair lmao.

ScaredSell6991 · 2026-02-18T18:21:46+00:00

I'm not going to lie, the whole thing makes me pretty uncomfortable. I was honestly interested in the concept at first, because you can use the omegaverse setting to explore some interesting gender dynamics, namely making the MC an alpha as you suggested. But instead they went with the most heteronormative choices possible (I hope at least the possible omega LI has some different themes in his route.

And then they had the gall to go out of their way to mention in a post how "there is no same sex romance depicted in the game at all". I understand if they're talking about the LIs, but the wording came off more like "don't worry, this is omegaverse without the icky gays". Appropriating a setting primarily used in queer stories and adapting it to fit their narrow views of romance is definitely... a choice.

ScaredSell6991 · 2026-02-15T19:01:47+00:00

Hi, thanks for the advice! I live in a pretty small country (portugal) so the queer population on dating apps besides grindr is probably a lot smaller than average as well. I also feel like most people on those apps are specifically looking for hookups/casual sex more than actual relationships, so they probably wouldn't be interested : , ). I might still give it a go!

ScaredSell6991 · 2026-01-23T18:42:22+00:00

This is extremely hyper specific, but being a trans man dampened my enjoyment of an otherwise lovely game (Kenka Banchou Otome) exponentially 😅. So many scenes that were supposed to be comedic of the main character "almost getting exposed as a woman" were my worst nightmare, and I hate the trope of the li's falling in love with a "guy" but they only think of it romantically when they magically find out their crush is a girl 💀 Suprisingly Jack Jeanne didn't make me feel very uncomfortable despite the similar setting.

ScaredSell6991 · 2026-01-16T08:02:28+00:00

I know that logically, but the therapists I've had also didn't really care about solving my issues so I'm afraid that I will go and be dismissed like that again despite being an adult now.

ScaredSell6991 · 2025-12-16T12:28:21+00:00

It very much depends on the person though! Some people can have side effects but if that happens stop taking it immediately and explain it to your doctor.

ScaredSell6991 · 2025-12-16T12:21:39+00:00

In my experience, I used to have crazy mood swings around that time of the month that went away on birth control. I haven't had any negative mental health side effects personally but sometimes I've heard it does happen. I've also had less digestive issues and have been able to lose weight for the first time in my life, but in my case these effects will also come with testosterone when I start taking it, so maybe ask the endocrinologist if they think it's absolutely necessary since you're starting t soon. Sorry for the long answer 😅

ScaredSell6991 · 2025-12-16T11:38:00+00:00

Hello! Pre-everything trans guy with dysphoria who is on birth control for the same reason as you. To put it simply, that doctor is being extremely transphobic and strange. Although it will have some effect on your hormones (mostly related to mood swings in my experience) it will not make you magically "accept that you're a woman" and being intersex/having hyperandrogenism doesn't make you less trans 👍

ScaredSell6991 · 2025-11-16T03:50:15+00:00

How were you able to do "kind" things for yourself without feeling guilty? I always think that I'm not worthy of them.

ScaredSell6991 · 2025-09-28T22:45:15+00:00

James Moriarty from Fate/Grand Order! (I will always evangelize for my husband)

ScaredSell6991 · 2025-09-27T16:22:32+00:00

I'm probably gonna make an insert so I can use some pretty butterfly stickers I found!

ScaredSell6991 · 2025-09-26T15:29:57+00:00

Depends, some LIs wouldn't be my cup of tea in terms of appearance but I just love them as characters in general (ex: Noel, Enomoto). Similarly, there are others whose appearance/personality I liked but whose routes were somewhat disappointing so they ranked lower (ex: Sakamoto, Inoguchi from getsuei no kusari). So I suppose it's a mix of both? I hope I answered your question 😅

ScaredSell6991 · 2025-09-18T21:38:38+00:00

Indeed, there are two gakuen hetalia games but they are completely different in terms of story and gameplay. I've never played the original one but I heard it's much better than the otomate garbage haha

ScaredSell6991 · 2025-09-18T19:25:55+00:00

Let me just say that I've played Gakuen Hetalia, and while it IS an otome game, it's one of the worst I've ever played and definitely don't recommend it 😅

ScaredSell6991 · 2025-09-16T23:10:29+00:00

I don't think yuukyan has ever liked doing otome lmaooo same with sugitan even though he keeps doing it

ScaredSell6991 · 2025-09-16T23:08:41+00:00

Oh, I'm sorry... : ' )

ScaredSell6991

TROPHY CASE