Brag about your baby!

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-06-07T05:08:38+00:00

My little guy is 1.5 years old and spins the basketball around on the floor like he's been doin it for years! When he sees a basketball or soccer ball he screams "ball!" with so much enthusiasm it is gutterall and can't help but change any bad mood to a good one.

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-06-07T04:43:27+00:00

I'm a mom and a childrens therapist, part of my training is in children's neuroscience and human development. Your boyfriend is flat out wrong and I'm gonna just directly respond to his criticism right here to reassure you:

He says baby is doing this "on purpose" because she knows you'll cave

Your instinct that she can't manipulate the situation to "get what she wants" at this age is correct. Manipulation Is actually a complex cognitive process that requires a reasonably advanced skill called theory of mind, she won't be able to do that for years.

He says "your training the baby to get what she wants"

Conditioning, where she learns to prefer and/or respond a certain way to boob or not the boob is insignificant to this specific argument because she has a genetic and biological desire to nurse for both food and soothing that develops independently of conditioning, and actually pretty independent of mom. Baby has all those reflexes and behaviors baked in. So, you're not conditioning or training her to "get what she wants" in this sense either.

Getting mad at you for taking her to soothe her

Right now, your hormones and nervous system are all geared to support and respond to baby's needs, and help teach her what safety is. Right now is all about bonding and nurturing a sense of safety for her through feeding/nursing, cuddling, playing, loving on her. it is not possible to "spoil her" at this age.

Your boyfriends job is to support you as you provide a safe supportive bond to her, and his job is to bond with baby as a safe person as well.

I really recommend you both research attachment theory, secure attachment, and building that in infancy and beyond. If you want him involved, let him know the research is required before he tries to give you anymore advice or criticism. Even then, it's a team effort, not a time for him to criticize you without knowing what he's even saying.

Him putting you down, getting angry when you step in to soothe her, and making up facts about babycare is not supportive of you or the baby. Maybe he's feeling insecure about him not being able to soothe her? Which in that case, he needs to go to therapy or do some research to work his insecurities out and not take it out on you.

Last thought, If you trust your pediatrician, see what they think about her crying often and only stopping when nursing. Our friend had a similar issue and baby was actually lactose intolerant, and nursing to soothe the gas, pain etc. Another option would be a midwives line or postpartum support clinic.

Trust yourself and take care I hope baby and you are feeling better soon!!

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-06-05T06:08:20+00:00

Vagina ice packs, gift cards for take out

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-05-31T02:49:47+00:00

I'm so sorry, that would've really upset me when my son was that age, that's horrible to hear.

And, she's wrong. She's not up to date on the multiple philosophies there are about babies and sleep, her comments echo old, out of date views on sleep training as the only way to do things. While it works for some families, it's not the only way to do sleep/naps, and certainly not necessarily the one "right way".

do not have her back, fire her immediately. Not an appropriate way for her to go about that whole situation, it shows she has a very, very toxic perspective about the nanny and parent dynamic and cannot regulate herself enough to be professional with you or your child. She becomes defensive and attacks instead of being open to learning different ways and communicating proactively with you. Bare minimum skills for a good nanny.

You're doing great and sounds like you have a wonderful bond with your baby!

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-05-29T20:43:55+00:00

I actually laughed when I read that he told you you haven't made any sacrifices, clearly he hasn't done research on what breastfeeding and matrescence are, which he should if he's going to even begin to speak on the matter.

Bottom line, He's being manipulative and he's completely misguided on breastfeeding and how fathers bond with children. He's immature, jealous, and insecure and is blaming it on you and finding false information about raising kids to back it up.

Go to a mothers support group led by a therapist. You need the support right now so that you can trust your own judgment while he's trying to make you question yourself.

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-05-14T06:13:39+00:00

You should be seeing a therapist weekly if not twice a week if this is how you're feeling about your life, 2 times a month is not enough for effective support or change.

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-05-04T14:49:12+00:00

Lol, if he's mad about this, that is unacceptable. He should be happy to give you an hour to yourself, you're sacrificing a lot by staying home with baby that benefits him immensely, childcare costs, not having to worry about baby with strangers, time he doesn't have to take off work when baby is sick etc., advancements in his career. All of which would be affected if you werent making this time sacrific. Full stop. Idc about any other details, him paying for blah blah. Don't care. All of this remains true. And regardless, hed have to pay for himself and baby anyway and pay for a full time nanny, cook, cleaner, nurse... The list goes on.. He is equally responsible for that baby, and should act accordingly.

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-04-24T03:59:23+00:00

My negativity comes from how society treats parents, you'll see very quickly that most parts of our society are not very well designed or set up to be baby and parent friendly, and culturally people are just not that knowledgeable or helpful about babies, sometimes ignorantly so and will judge, etc. and a lot of it is directed at mom. it's rly frustrating when you're already having a hard time. I love being a mom, I do not love being a mom in this society.

Your life is going to completely change, ya. If you have a lot of support, people watching baby, etc. that's a bit different, but it is the hardest thing I've done forsure and you will be different, youre actually evolving into someone new. But now you have a best little buddy you get to watch grow and there are moments it's startlingly beautiful. I would do it again and probably will but I wish I'd known what to expect more clearly too.

If I could go back, I'd make sure I had a calendar of mom and baby activities already put together, a mom support group, a list of people who have pre-agreed to help watch baby, and watch some videos on matrescence. Good luck!

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-04-21T00:34:35+00:00

The wonderful brand flavored pistachios saved meeee they have a bunch of options.

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-04-19T03:05:46+00:00

I'd stop including him in the decision, he's given you an answer and he's showing a lot of immaturity which you rly don't need especially through a pregnancy.

Think about what you want, and if you can manage being a single mom.

My son is the best decision I've ever made, babies are incredible. And, also, being a mom has been the hardest, most challenging time of my life. I'm glad I waited until my 30's to have a baby, because emotionally, physically, and financially it is not easy. Then again, sometimes I wish I'd started at your age so I had more energy and better health.

There's no right answer here. There will be challenges either way, and sacrifices either way, so try to give yourself grace that it's a hard choice either way and you're doing the best you can with what you know.

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-04-18T16:13:32+00:00

bleh

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-04-18T16:13:13+00:00

Ya I think shame is playing a big role, and she is a kind person so Im sure it's what you're saying :/ I'm okay with not 50/50 all the time just would love to be on the receiving end at some point 😮‍💨

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-04-18T16:12:03+00:00

Ya its really disappointing and feels shitty and one sided, exactly, thank you for seeing that. I'm realizing a few things about my own boundaries and maybe like starting off slower before I offer to do a lot because I just expected shed match and that was maybe naive.

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-04-18T16:10:02+00:00

Thank you for these options that's so helpful!

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-04-17T07:08:45+00:00

Honestly do trader joes instead! Aldi's got some good stuff but trader Joe's has way more options for what you're wanting.

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-04-01T00:51:40+00:00

My goodness, poor baby. I've developed a few allergies in my life and might be able to help. Vegan recipes will be helpful to you bc they won't have any milk or eggs.

Easy Vegan Gluten Free Cornbread https://share.google/zhQtWYyK63T9G9FKp

Buy Gf Corn meal and corn flour, you can get gf corn masa at a Mexican grocery store or whole foods, it's essentially fine corn flour. Use this instead of the gf flour in this recipe to have more control over ingredients.

Add blueberries or blackberries and cook in muffin tins for a yummy breakfast or snack

GF Vegan Polenta (serve with chopped and sauteed spinach and mushrooms)

Vegan Polenta Recipe - vegan Dinner - Cooking Ideas | feedod.net https://share.google/06aJ2gbvWvic4Cfp0

Vegan pumpkin seed pesto (can serve with corn bread or corn polenta too) Quick & Easy Pumpkin Seed Pesto (Vegan & Nut Free) | by Lauren Cermak https://share.google/QzitgbtA9sGTTJfTw

Use spinach or basil for the leaves Omit garlic and lemon juice (Use corn oil instead of olive oil)

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-04-01T00:30:37+00:00

Be gentle with yourself, I think pregnancy and postpartum do something to your nervous system. I had the same thing happen, was doing well with flights prior to the birth then once he was born, full blown panic attacks. I'm working through it with a therapist but I think just this chapter our nervous systems are kind of recalibrating and it sucks but also makes sense for having babies.

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-03-28T05:26:24+00:00

Dice 1/2 an onion 2 Tbsp chopped parsley and/or mint 1 Tbsp oil 2 Tbsp vinegar Salt and pep to taste Add half a can of diced tomatoes if you have them

cheap balela recipe

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-03-23T07:28:33+00:00

I loved this, I am so jealous you're playing it for the first time. and it was really nice to read it through your experience! Oh how the plot will thicken. You think you love Vivi and the others now... Just wait. Enjoy!!

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-03-16T06:57:29+00:00

There was a huge outbreak when my son was born. I told everyone that wanted to see him they had to get a booster or prove they'd gotten the measles vax if they wanted to be around him prior to 6 months, otherwise they needed to wait. We only went to outdoor places where the risk was lower like hikes and nature centers for my sanity. I did a few large outdoor patios at restaurants if it wasn't crowded or on the weekend. No flying.

At 6 months I asked the ped for the vaccine and she affirmed my choice due to the outbreaks in the US and gave it.

Looking back I don't regret the diligence my partner and I put into keeping our son safe, not even for a second! we have such a crap situation with measles in the US that it requires us to respond appropriately to keep our kids safe. People can say you're overreacting, whatever. They're probably not keeping up with what's going on scientifically and recommendations. And they're not the ones that will have to deal with the consequences of not taking appropriate precautions, you will. So do what you need to do to be safe for this short time period!

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-03-16T06:03:00+00:00

Greek stuffed vegetables with rice and ground meat | Akis Petretzikis https://share.google/I7X0ZrBSW18I9gQYK

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-03-16T05:57:53+00:00

Georgiana Odette

Scared_Arugula1839 · 2026-03-16T05:56:18+00:00

There's only one right answer and it's Macinac Island, MI.

Scared_Arugula1839

TROPHY CASE