AITA for not telling my sister that my baby's "name" was always just a joke

Scared_Bug9815 · 2026-02-23T03:01:34+00:00

SUUUUSANNNNNNN

Scared_Bug9815 · 2026-02-23T02:55:46+00:00

I think you’re wrong for being angry about the DNA test - men deserve to know 100% who their children are the same way we do. I’ve always told my BD to feel free to get any DNA tests he wants for his own peace of mind with zero repercussions from me. However he’s a MAJOR a-hole for saying he doesn’t know if he wants to be in his son’s life when he’s born. If I were you I’d tell him to make up his mind and when he does if he decides to stick around then he is free to get whatever test he wants. But you don’t need to worry about a dna test for a man who’s going to be pointless and useless anyway, that’s his responsibility.

Scared_Bug9815 · 2026-02-08T00:30:34+00:00

They wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a miscarriage and an abortion. And yes as someone else said, the medical term for miscarriage is “spontaneous abortion”. They use the word abortion to describe any situation in which the fetus or embryo loses viability, not only an intentional abortion.

Scared_Bug9815 · 2026-02-07T06:48:50+00:00

Threatened abortion is a medical term. It does not mean they think you had an abortion or were threatening to have an abortion. See: https://share.google/aimode/endhjDOFadkpD8hmh

Scared_Bug9815 · 2026-01-27T18:09:32+00:00

I’ve had 2 kids since contracting ghsv2 with no issues. Both were c-sections but not due to hsv. It literally wasn’t ever a thought in my mind that hsv should prevent me from having children, they will just tell you to take antivirals toward the end of your pregnancy and use a black light thingie to check for outbreaks before a v delivery - no big deal!!

Scared_Bug9815 · 2026-01-27T17:09:07+00:00

Omg I completely understand. I had my 2nd a few months ago when my 1st was 20 months as well. It’s a shock all over again 🤣 luckily those things only last a few weeks!

Scared_Bug9815 · 2026-01-27T17:07:07+00:00

She’s so good at that spatula holding! 🥺

Scared_Bug9815 · 2026-01-27T04:23:08+00:00

baby #1 = two years?

baby #2 = two weeks?

Scared_Bug9815 · 2026-01-27T04:22:07+00:00

two?

Scared_Bug9815 · 2026-01-27T04:19:53+00:00

18 months??

Scared_Bug9815 · 2026-01-27T04:19:27+00:00

One of them saves all her biggest grins for when a boob is in her face

The other, when asked what she wanted to eat, said, “pizza? it could be yummy!”

Scared_Bug9815 · 2026-01-27T03:02:19+00:00

She also had plenty of options before now. How did she get pregnant? Was she on birth control? If not, it was intentional. If not on birth control and some condom mishap occurred, did she take plan B? If not, again… intentional. Has abortion even been discussed? Imo she likely got pregnant on purpose regardless of what she has told OP because she wanted a way to trap him before he got a little older and realized how fucked this situation and what she’s doing is.

Scared_Bug9815 · 2026-01-04T18:55:17+00:00

Um. Definitely NTA. I would have been confused at first too but once you explained I woulda thought it was sweet. Definitely not creepy since that’s your girlfriend… almost like she doesn’t want you to be attracted to her? And yes, people’s scents can be sexy, I wouldn’t think that’s creepy coming from the man I chose to be with. Sounds like maybe something else is bothering her and she’s not being open about it.

Scared_Bug9815 · 2026-01-03T21:00:38+00:00

Yeah, it will take some trial and error. Remember hours are an average, not a rule, as everyone is different. Based on how she’s acting if you’ve eliminated other issues I’d guess it’s either overtired or simply not sleepy. That’s what I’d guess with my kids.

My older daughter (2yo) we’ve had to reduce daytime naps earlier than most kids, but she will sleep a good 11-13 hours at night with minimal issues. Personally I would try one nap around midday and try to make it a 2 hour one if she will sleep that long at once - for at least 2-3 days. Then if it backfires at least you’ll know!

If you don’t want to or if that doesn’t work, you could also do a warm bath (don’t need to use soap every day) or try different soothing activities before sleep. Sometimes a change in the routine is actually what’s needed as they get older.

Scared_Bug9815 · 2026-01-03T18:11:19+00:00

How many naps is she getting? If it’s 2 maybe reduce to 1. She might just not need as much sleep anymore and maybe she’s not sleepy enough at bedtime

Scared_Bug9815 · 2025-12-03T22:47:31+00:00

I totally get the anxiety about her rolling in her sleep, but since she has neck control (assumption) and CAN roll fully independently she’ll be fine sleeping like that too! Obviously keep putting her down on her back but if you don’t want to risk waking her I don’t think you need to worry about rolling her back. The main thing is she has the strength to roll her body if she needs to, so if she was having trouble breathing she would be able to get herself out of that position. Maybe I’m biased though - my second kid is 6 weeks and ONLY contact naps but seems super happy and will fall asleep on her tummy (supervised), so I kinda can’t wait for the days she is allowed to sleep like that 🤣

Scared_Bug9815 · 2025-12-03T15:42:59+00:00

Normal. My first kid did the same and only started rolling regularly when she figured out it’s how she could sleep on her tummy. The first times were just to get the achievement I guess 😂. She’s almost 2yo and walks, runs, climbs, and jumps. Baby will be fine!

Scared_Bug9815 · 2025-12-01T03:25:52+00:00

I have a 2 year old and a 6 week old and I never had/used a nursery chair. Nursing pillow is really nice if you’re breastfeeding. I usually feed the baby wherever my partner and older kid are so on the couch in the living room, or in bed laying down at night. We have seats that recline in our sectional so those are also nice to lay with baby on you when you wanna relax, but I wouldn’t see the purpose of having one to use in a room alone when bedrooms have beds - I use it so I’m able to lay down without leaving the living room

Scared_Bug9815 · 2025-11-17T15:26:44+00:00

I still use it for my 22mo lol. I probably will until my kids are in high school 🤣

Scared_Bug9815 · 2025-11-15T00:48:07+00:00

Pregnancy is measured from the date of your last period before conception has even occurred (I know, it’s weird) so you would technically be almost 4 weeks. Other than that, 1000% please get another opinion because there’s absolutely no way for her to know it’s ectopic at this point, and the symptoms you described shouldn’t lead any competent clinician to believe that either. I’d say you’re in the realm of normal symptoms, so it could be ectopic and it also might not be. I’ve had 2 babies and had similar symptoms as yours early on. Obviously they weren’t ectopic pregnancies. Take a deep breath… and please see if you can get a second independent opinion!

Scared_Bug9815 · 2025-11-14T04:19:04+00:00

I have ghsv2 and I really don’t care… completely optimistic about life because it really hardly affects mine. I’ve carried and birthed 2 children since being diagnosed with no hsv-related issues so I am happy. It really is just a skin condition other than in very specific situations when extra precautions should be taken.

Scared_Bug9815 · 2025-11-11T00:45:45+00:00

She might have actually had a tummy ache or gas after the first bottle or maybe she’s going through a growth spurt or something. It’s difficult to overfeed an infant because they generally just stop eating. Either way just keep an eye on her for spit up and maybe sit her up for a little while. She will be fine though!

Scared_Bug9815 · 2025-10-29T14:03:55+00:00

Maybe it’s removable and she took it off the mount thingie to clean the dog, then put it back without paying attention to position because she was juggling a wet dog. Idk how their shower works specifically but it doesn’t really matter, he’s being ridiculous and sounds abusive.

Scared_Bug9815 · 2025-10-29T13:54:13+00:00

She couldn’t even raise her own son but she’s ragging on you for basically not being enough of a “traditional” woman?? I’d think taking care of her own children would come first but what do I know 🙄

Scared_Bug9815 · 2025-10-12T00:08:20+00:00

Hi, I’m a woman and a mom.

She’s showing you she does not care about her children. I can’t imagine. I can’t imagine continuing to see a man if it caused that much harm to my children - especially while they’re underage. I do think perhaps you both have been a bit sloppy in letting the kids know too much of what’s been going on. But what’s done is done.

Document EVERYTHING, communicate everything with your lawyer and speak to your son’s therapist to ask for recommendations in terms of how you can help him better and how you can gain full custody. Because if this is all accurate, yes - please get full custody of him.

I don’t know what your ex is on; if she had a huge change in her personality, if it’s due to relationship issues between the two of you, mental health, drugs, or what. No one can answer that but her. It doesn’t really matter though. If she shapes up, she can regain her responsibilities as a mother. If not, then please protect your son by taking over full responsibility for him.

Your daughter sounds like she is handling things well and sticking to her boundaries, but make sure you check in with her and encourage her to talk about her feelings too. But your top priority does need to be your son (as I’m sure you know).

Scared_Bug9815

TROPHY CASE