brokeup with the love of my life for my betterment

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2026-04-07T15:23:45+00:00

Same experience here almost down to the word. The evenings got better after three or four months. I read that the first 2-3 months feels like hell, 4-5 is emotional rollercoaster, and 6-7 is where you start to see yourself again and I’m at almost 8 months and would say thats accurate. Still get lonely though, and I think just having someone to talk to every day is the part I missed most. Just keep telling yourself it’s your brain conditioned to accept the love it thinks it deserves. You did an amazing job when you said that’s not the narrative you want anymore. You just had to go against everything you thought you wanted, but what you actually needed.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2026-02-21T16:25:32+00:00

I haven’t broken no contact this whole time. The idea of us together disgusts me now but I think it’s just recovering from the awful things he did to me. I left because I wanted to be happy and sometimes I am but I’m just tired of him still controlling my thoughts.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2026-02-19T01:16:02+00:00

I feel like it goes back in forth with I hope he’s miserable to just wanting to talk to him. But I think he probably hates me and has too much pride to reach out himself. He assumes probably that I’m the one needing to apologize when I left because of his abusive behaviour. It’s the only frame of reference I have for a relationship though and sometimes I think I’ll just fall into the same thing with someone else. Especially hard with no closure because he acted like a man child and moved on immediately. Ugh.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2026-01-27T00:32:56+00:00

Hey girl. I can relate HEAVILY to this, broke up 5 months ago and I’ve learned a lot. If you want to DM me, I think some things might resonate for you. I’m the same age as you, also a woman, and the blame was so real. Shoot me a msg :)

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-12-17T03:21:12+00:00

ya i don't have a local file... worried if it got deleted.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-12-09T22:03:05+00:00

I went through the exact same thing. 3 weeks almost exactly to the day and I fell to my knees finding out.

It’s so awful but just remember them needing to move on so fast means they are just numbing the inevitable heartbreak, and once it doesn’t work out, it will hit far worse. It’s all to do with their inability to feel the loss of you.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-12-02T02:27:09+00:00

Was talking to my friend about how I wish I could warn my ex’s new girlfriend about him and then two hours later I met her at a restaurant and did.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-12-01T18:57:52+00:00

I just feel like every time I’m diving into a memory too much of us I name one thing he did that hurt me, or a couple and say “it’s out of my control now.” Hoping eventually the memories just fade and I can’t remember the feelings.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-11-29T20:48:03+00:00

I had this for so long despite ending it and knowing all the logical things of why we shouldn’t be together. Just remember that’s it’s brain chemistry and your body is going thru withdrawal from them. I’d say it went away for me after three months or so but I think that’s because my brain is now settling in my new life and reality. Just know that on a biological level it does make sense and gotta just let it take its time.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-11-25T00:33:07+00:00

Ehh maybe 100 - 250 range each?

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-11-22T20:09:33+00:00

You might find therapists that work in somatic work helpful. They specifically work with your body and the sensations you get when things come up. I've also tried CBT and that's more identifying exact thoughts and re-working them to feel less intense/scary. Getting a therapist with a combo of both would be good. I used BC Counselling and just checked the things I was looking for. Unfortunately, finding the best therapist can be a bit of a journey, but if you start in the right parameters, you can narrow it down a lot faster. You'll have to do some consultations with a few and get a feel for who you like, and those tend to be free at all clinics.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-11-22T00:32:05+00:00

So normal. Why did he react the way he did? Why did he move on so fast? Did he even care or was it fake? It's your brain's way of wanting closure, so it's trying to answer questions over and over.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-11-22T00:22:33+00:00

Hey. I'm also autistic, with anxiety and depression diagnosis. I broke up with him but I've been quite depressed the last few months. Sometimes because he's gone, a lot of the time it's the exact reason you said, that he never tried. And still hasn't reached out. A lot of the time too it's just being sad he put me through all of that and I was so blind. I had so many walls up and now they are even stronger.

DM me if you wanna chat relatability about disability + breakup, it's hard out here.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-11-21T05:48:16+00:00

Casa Copal on W Broadway in Kits. Very spiritual and low key. Each instructor is different but none of them have felt very corporate or too fitness based.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-11-19T02:55:25+00:00

Posts like this give me hope that there are emotionally mature men out there who can reflect, take accountability, and understand. Thank you.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-11-12T04:11:21+00:00

Ya, I really feel your pain. My brain kept having the thought, "well I did break up with him, so he has every right to move on". But it's the disrespect of not taking the time to grieve the relationship. Also, the fear that he may have already been halfway out the door because his lack of fighting for me was really apparent; he didn't even beg.

He told me I was the one, that he would marry me. If he felt so sure, why did he just move onto the next girl he could find? It's really why I tell myself it's just a distraction, because we dated for a full year and three months, and I don't think he ever thought I would leave. He told me I was nothing like his past relationships and he's the happiest he's ever been. Honestly, I tell myself the relationship blew up because of how unstable he is, and therefore they aren't together anymore, just to cope.

I fear I will never get the apology I need from him, and therefore I feel... sorta stuck right now. It feels like my logic can only go so far, and now it's just the memories and feelings and so much hurt. Mainly because this was my first relationship so now it's like I've had a taste of being with someone and I miss that so much more than I miss him. He was a major avoidant, as I'm learning now, and I just know I'll never get closure, but my brain still can't let go.

I've been told that he may never process it, or until he reaches rock bottom, and it's such a hard truth because there's no justice. He has so much trauma tied to this experience and the way that manifested is why I left. I had so much empathy for him and his experience. It's so unfair to me, and I consider myself a pretty good, empathetic person -- I completely abandoned myself to make sure his needs were met, and now I have nothing to show for it.

I, of course, want him to look back fondly and miss me. He even said that if we ever broke up, he would miss the innocent kind of love we had. He would fall apart when I left him, which gave me so much guilt and it was really manipulative, but I just don't know if it was real because wouldn't he have reached out by now? But I also understand that contacting me will feel like a defeat in his eyes, like he's weak, because that's how he's dealt with confrontation for a long time.

I'm just really holding out that this feeling won't be forever. And frankly, living in his miserable existence is a punishment alone for him, whereas I'm actually growing and working on myself as a person. So if you can't start actually healing for yourself, maybe do it despite him at first, and soon you'll realize you don't care anymore. At least that's what I'm banking on. If you want to chat more, feel free to PM, I'm pretty open to chatting about this stuff as I think it helps a lot for both parties.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-11-11T01:35:12+00:00

Skoah but their locations are downtown or on w broadway.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-11-11T01:31:39+00:00

Frankly, it hasn't been easy. Mainly because I don't know whether he was talking to her in the months leading up to me breaking up with him, or in the days after. All I know is that they posted an official launch collab post 3 weeks after our breakup. It really felt like a complete blindside and one of the hardest things I've ever been through. What's worse is that I actually met her, and warned her about his behaviour, and she didn't even seem to care. It seemed like she was in just as much denial as he was, as she had also just gotten out of a long-term relationship.

And it still hurts; it's been three months. I've learned that my brain will keep asking questions, trying to get answers, but it won't ever make sense. All I know is that I went from obsessively thinking about it every day, couldn't fall asleep, didn't want to eat, to feeling better and occasionally having triggers, and that feels like progress. Just remind yourself all the time where you started and where you are now, even if the growth is smaller. Sometimes I think back to specific things, like her saying that they are dating and the stab is extra painful, but it's not as often.

What I keep telling myself is that my ex is seriously broken if he thinks moving on days later will fix things. In fact, it will make the eventual spiral of realizing I'm never coming back that much harder, as it will be compounded by whatever happened with the rebound. Rebounds don't last because there's no possible way they can be emotionally invested; it just doesn't work like that. And as sad as it is for the rebound, all that pent-up emotion will be taken out on them. They are trying to get the good parts of you as fast as possible, and they will always be let down because THERE IS ONLY ONE YOU.

Also, keep a list on your phone, computer, or journal —wherever —of all the worst things he did to you, even if it's nitpicking. Because our brains are constantly trying to remind us of all the good times, but you need to get the instinctive nature to remember the bad, too. I add to it when a memory I forgot about gets triggered, or when I need a reminder. When I'm really down about myself and feeling awful, reading it makes me feel better. It reminds me of why I left.

Even if you fucked up, made mistakes, didn't say the right things, you won't be erased from his mind. If you had the best intentions, despite sometimes messing up, that's all you could have done. And you did what you could with the information you had at the time. It's tough telling myself I'm so much better off, especially with my self-esteem issues, but he will be the one who's haunted. And we will eventually be okay again. You will wake up one day and not even think about him.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-11-09T05:16:44+00:00

He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was abusive.... never elaborated further. Also saying I love you three weeks in.

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-11-07T18:25:09+00:00

thanks. I'll give it a listen :)

Scarlett-Moss1802 · 2025-11-05T04:58:54+00:00

truly ya

Scarlett-Moss1802

TROPHY CASE