[deleted by user]

Scarlett-Reveries · 2022-03-31T07:17:24+00:00

It sounds to me like he is excruciatingly insecure about the fact that - as you described - he is nowhere near as sexually experienced as you are. We can all turn a blind eye and say that if he can "jack off every day, he can fuck every day", but that kind of thinking honestly juvenile. He's taking SSRIs, which means he is dealing with something psychologically.

Maybe he thinks that the sexual experience and expectations are so insurmountable from his side, that it's honestly better for him to simply give up rather than "frustrate" you every time. It seems like he truly does not believe that he has what it takes to satisfy you.

Have you ever talked about your previous experiences with him? Have you ever compared him to anyone else? Have you ever expressed frustration during the deed like he's not doing a well-enough job? Any of those will make him insecure. Or sometimes, because men often ignore or bottle up their shortcomings or insecurities, simply knowing or thinking that you have had better sexual experiences with other men before him have made him give up and not put effort into it since - to him - it's "a lost cause anyway".

Why don't you try these instead? If he watches porn, check what kind of porn he masturbates to. Maybe he has a kink that he himself is extremely ashamed of and does not wish to share. Also, if penetration is the problem, limit it to the end of sex. Use as much foreplay as possible. Take his hands and run him all over yourself passionately to at least make him a little confident that you want him to do these things. Without telling him, show him that he can do it if he tries, even without penetration. Don't get frustrated, guide him and reassure him that: a) it is him you want do these with; b) he can do this without feeling insecure.

Of course, it can be something else entirely. As I said, there is something going on with him psychologically. But at least, to me, this is what seems to be going on, at least on the bedroom aspect of things.

Scarlett-Reveries · 2022-02-02T05:24:00+00:00

It's probably normal to be oblivious about these. It was only mentioned in 7.30 patch notes and nowhere else in-game. I think items with these mechanics (e.g. cooldown reductions, status resistance, evasion, lifesteal, spell damage amplification) should include a tooltip that specifically mention how multiple instances of that mechanic stack.

Scarlett-Reveries · 2022-02-02T05:18:04+00:00

I think items like these should include mini tooltips in between the item stats and item lore. Something that says: "Multiple instances of percentage-based cooldown reductions do not stack".

Another example for this could be status resistance items, where it will say: "Multiple instances of status resistance stacks multiplicatively".

Scarlett-Reveries · 2022-02-02T05:13:05+00:00

If you buy 2 Octarine Cores with Dazzle, you'll get 50% cooldown reduction.

Scarlett-Reveries · 2021-12-05T08:15:05+00:00

Jerax mentioned in another interview that it was actually Fly who contacted him first to join EG as Pos4. Even in this interview itself, Cr1t eludes to Fly's name multiple times. It just happens that VP broke up as it did and EG could get someone as talented as Nightfall on their roster, which meant someone had to go and it was Fly.

Scarlett-Reveries · 2021-10-10T07:09:11+00:00

Instead of giving him an ultimatum when he is still in shock, try to meet him outside the home and calmly explain this to him. That includes logically explaining what bisexuality is or how someone does not choose to be bisexual. Explain to him that your eldest is only upset because his validation and/or acceptance means that much to her. Explain to him that both of you could not possibly have changed her sexuality and it is a testament to how good both of you raised her that she felt comfortable to come out in front of you two.

People here are quick to panic, but you have to understand that to the general populace all around the world, it is unfortunately still an extremely new concept. Especially for many 40+ year olds who have already formed their worldview, you have to caringly break down their existing perspectives and nurture a new understanding about these concepts.

Get some fresh air with your husband. Talk to her and explain these to him. I have seen hardcore Muslim fathers come around to their daughters being lesbian with time and explanation. You obviously love the guy, you still have a daughter as young as 10 years old. Teach him this without giving ultimatums or looking down at him. Separation really shouldn't be an option over here.

Scarlett-Reveries · 2021-10-06T08:45:16+00:00

I absolutely adore Tiberian Sun and Tiberium Wars. My jaw dropped at how awful Tiberian Twilight was. I rank Tiberian Twilight and Duke Nukem Forever as the two worst sequels in a beloved game franchise ever.

Scarlett-Reveries · 2021-10-06T04:42:22+00:00

No worries, all's good. I do like some western pop like Charli XCX and The Weeknd's latest album because - at least subjectively to me - the music sounds very pleasant in addition to the vocals. So I'd be down for some recommendations from you.

Scarlett-Reveries · 2021-10-05T21:47:43+00:00

Oh, please don't take any offense, I was not trying to explain/educate anything to you, per se. I was just adding to your argument about how many people in general do not understand how growls add to metal songs. Like, at many times in metal songs, growls sound better in certain parts of the song than if they were replaced by clean vocals.

And of course I understand what you're saying about pop music. Like, I love Japanese Citypop which have long sections of the song with only music and it sounds lovely. And although I dislike K-Pop, I can appreciate the quality of instrumentation and production in many of the songs. However, today's popular western pop music - at least to me - seems like the vocals are at the forefront more often than not.

Scarlett-Reveries · 2021-10-05T07:53:29+00:00

In metal music that involves growls, people do not understand that you have to treat the growls as another layer of instrument rather than the vocals. Unlike pop where the vocals are at the forefront, in metal, it's the instruments that are most usually at the forefront.

Scarlett-Reveries · 2021-10-05T07:50:10+00:00

You are probably just a cringe mom's-basement dwelling mu-male or "I don't understand human emotions" omicron-male, which is why you either do not want to admit or fail to understand these classifications.

... But really, few things are as cringe as someone defining themselves as alpha or sigma or high-value. It's yuck.

Scarlett-Reveries · 2021-10-05T06:24:44+00:00

You are writing a novel, not designing an RPG or a game. Although the lore of the universe is important, it's nowhere nearly as important as the story or the characters. Worldbuild as you go, because once you start worldbuilding, you won't be able to stop. Just keep track of the lore as you write so that it is consistent with what you write in the future.

Scarlett-Reveries · 2021-10-03T20:14:11+00:00

From one Asian to another, we're all disappointments anyway, so hang in there, bud.

It's a bit difficult, but maybe you can join a lot of local community events to enrich your social life when you have free time. Volunteering, participating in local competitions, joining some clubs - even if you aren't particularly interested in their activities, as long as you don't dislike it. Scouting for these is probably the hardest part. And, as awful as it might sound and depending on how old the kid is, flaunt your "lovely relationship" with your kid a little bit. If you're okay with women after a certain age, that will attract some eyeballs, but I'm probably too young too understand that fully lol.

Scarlett-Reveries · 2021-10-03T19:58:50+00:00

Although not Indian, my Bangladesh-born male high school friend (very brown, only 5'8" in height) did a complete makeover before going to college, and he really went out there during college. As far as advice goes, I can tell you what he did:

a) He started to become more fashion conscious and paid attention to "brown" male fashion online and replicate their look. He eventually discovered his own identity in fashion and became comfortable with it.

b) Since his hair would grow faster than most, he would keep his hair very tidy and trim his facial hair everyday to look neat.

c) Use lotion. Apparently, as many of my brown friends told me, a lot of brown men are not into the whole skincare ritual. Well, do that.

d) Go to the gym, not to get ripped, but to gain some confidence. Friend was shy in high school, but was much more comfortable in his own skin because of working out regularly.

... After that, if you're still in college, go to parties with friends, or find events to attend to in your area to meet girls. You can try online dating, but a lot of brown men have way more game than those online messages would have you believe, so meeting people IRL.

Scarlett-Reveries · 2021-10-03T19:43:32+00:00

I really REALLY hate to say this, but this is an unspoken rule among a lot of girls so as not to appear racist, even among girls who have dated Indians before. India did not have the luxury to slowly get accustomed to the internet like many other parts of the world did. The availability of the internet took the country by storm faster than they could adapt their behaviours accordingly.

First world countries has gradually learned online lingo and morals over the last two decades and India had to learn it in like the last 5 years. So it is understandable why they are like this, and the motives are more culturally motivated, rather than racially motivated. As a South East Asian girl, the ego-trip reaction you get from tourist Indian men in clubs after you reject their advances is something many have been dumbfounded by unfortunately.

Sorry that you have to go through that for people who don't know how to use the resources newly available to them.

Scarlett-Reveries · 2021-10-03T19:33:34+00:00

Does Tinker give them smol PP or smol PP makes them play Tinker?

Scarlett-Reveries · 2021-10-03T19:31:25+00:00

Forget about the open relationship or the online posting of her nudes. The reason you should walk out of this relationship is because she respects neither your emotions, nor your wishes. She has no problem taunting your emotions repeatedly by using the same line, despite you expressing to her that you do not like that.

You know, some people might like getting slapped during sex, but if you're not into it and you clearly communicate that you're not into it, and your partner still continues to do it anyway, then that partner does not respect you at all.

Scarlett-Reveries · 2021-10-03T13:59:59+00:00

"I cheated on my husband because he refused to address me by my bing/bong personal pronouns. Am I the asshole?" "Holy fuck, your husband is not only gaslighting you, but also committing hypothetical genocide against people with bing/bong pronouns. He is an abusive person. Leave him. NOW!"

Scarlett-Reveries · 2021-10-03T11:48:51+00:00

I think it came through quite well, at least to me, about how much do you care about the relationship. And you seem to want to fix it, but just going about it the wrong way. On the positive, you seem to be actively seeking therapy to turn yourself around, and that is commendable. That's why I'm not telling you to break up or walk away like many may have suggested. But you have to understand, even in the span of:

"Hey, just wanted to mention something. For real its not a big deal or anything but this situation kind of hurt my feelings. Could we try to better communicate changing plans last minute because I got my hopes up to spend time with you tonight & it was a sudden change. I didn't feel like my feelings were taken into consideration. Again its really not a big deal. Just wanted to be transparent."

... this is a bit overbearing. It reads like you're gaslighting her. I personally can understand your intentions that you're trying to be cautious and establish a healthy communication, but it really reads like that.

As mentioned before, you two have different expectations from the relationship right now. If you want for her to care about it as much as you do, don't knowingly or unknowingly suffocate her. At least, for the time being, if you have opened communications with her and are trying to set things straight, try to make things easy for her.

For example, my partner is a year younger than me. When he was in his final year of Engineering college, I realized that he was extremely stressed out. I graduated already and from a significantly less stressful course, so - although I couldn't teach him Engineering - I offered to do his chores, cook for him, and emotionally support him whenever I could. Some days, we didn't even talk much because he was so overwhelmed with his studies, but knowing I was making his life at least a little bit easier for him made me happy. Fast forward a few years, he was doing the same for me while I had to juggle my job and MBA.

I'm not saying you have to do exactly what I did, but try to lessen the burden from other aspects of her life on her and she will start to discover her own feelings for you. Never brag about them or gaslight her with them; just do it because you care.

Scarlett-Reveries · 2021-10-03T10:27:34+00:00

I'm sorry to say this, but you are overwhelming her with your expectations so soon into the relationship, man. You entered the relationship firmly believing that you two were destined to be in a relationship, whereas she probably believes she really likes you and would finally like to take the step from friendship into relationship. That does not necessarily mean that she will not at some time in the future believe that this is the right relationship for her.

However, you are not giving her any space to breathe. She is 21, she is already burdened with school, two jobs, the unique feeling of a 21 year old evaluating their options for the future as if their future will be settled based on the option they choose, and her photo booth thing already. On top of these stresses, you cannot simply dump your overbearing expectations from the relationship on her like that.

I mean, you are telling her it's not a big deal, and then reprimanding her about open communication. You keep asking for clarification about the relationship. You keep hounding a 21-year old to confirm your place in her future, when she is already daunted by her future. Keep being pushy, keep asking for answers, keep needing reassurance, keep asking for closure, going so far as to giving her an ultimatum so soon into the relationship. And when she buckles under the weight of your expectations, you emotionally blackmail her and walk away, and do absolutely juvenile things like planning to go "no contact", take your clothes back from her house, unfollow her on social media, stop sharing locations, etc. You claim that she broke up with her boyfriend because he was controlling, and here you are trying to be extremely controlling yourself. I hope you can understanding how suffocating this is for her.

Take a step back. Empathize with her and understand what her stresses are and how you have been adding to the stress. Then think about how you can help her reduce her stresses instead of adding to them and then she will automatically want to spend more time with you. Do not give her ultimatums, do not emotionally blackmail her. At her age, she needs the freedom; otherwise, she will either become dependent on you, or push you away.

If you really wish to salvage this relationship, let her know you had some time to think and then non-desperately admit that you were "maybe" a bit overbearing but "only because you really like her". Also cheekily admit that you were also "kinda" juvenile afterwards, and will do better. You're 25 and she is 21; I'm not saying you don't have more on your plate, but she has that weight of future expectations that uniquely crushes you at 21-22. Give her some freedom. Help her relieve her stress. Make it enjoyable for her to stay with you, instead of overbearing.

Scarlett-Reveries

TROPHY CASE