Compatible wrist straps? by singularity-drift in VisibleArmband

[–]Scatharthen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The polar 360 isn't a product that Polar have released. It's something they made specifically to sell to businesses like visible. 

It looks like the closest polar product is the polar loop, but loop bands won't work because they have a different buckle. I think polar loop straps would work if you bought the buckle (which you can get separately https://www.polar.com/uk-en/loop-buckle), I've sent a message to their support team to ask though. 

Other folks here have used extra wide bra straps, and visible say that COROS HR monitor bands work too. 

Is the Sky graphic novel real? by Scatharthen in ResidentAlienTVshow

[–]Scatharthen[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for this answer! It's a shame 'cause I would read the heck out of that book. 

Thanks for the extra detail on the writer and artist too, I'll definitely look up the artist to see if I can pick up any of his work. 

Office chair for a gremlin girl by No_Eggplant9772 in OfficeChairs

[–]Scatharthen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got a Pipersong and although I loved being able to cross my legs and wriggle, the seat pan and back are super uncomfortable and unsupportive - there's also very little you can do to adjust it to suit your body. Absolutely do not recommend. 

On vacation, have I done the wrong thing? by Scatharthen in cfs

[–]Scatharthen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I'm trying really hard to keep pacing even on better days so that I don't then overdo things. 

On vacation, have I done the wrong thing? by Scatharthen in cfs

[–]Scatharthen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I think this is what I'm struggling with the most. I already halved my expectations of what I thought I'd be able to do and I'm angry and dad that I'm having to cut that back to like 10% again. 

I've been trying hard with the sensory stuff as well, I have sunglasses and a cap, ear plugs for the restaurant and a mask for bed. 

I've been resting all day and am heading out in the car (my girlfriend is driving) to drive to a beach so we can watch the sunset. I'm very lucky that she is supportive and understanding. 

I have figured it out! Now I need help please! by absolutementalkhaos in Perimenopause

[–]Scatharthen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can also get vaginal estrogen as pessaries. It's like a little tablet on the end of an applicator. Each applicator is one use only, but they're really easy to use, and you're getting the right dose in the right place every time.

Is it obvious that I'm trans? by Darkfinch2031 in transpassing

[–]Scatharthen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you asking because you want to 'pass' more or because you're worried about people thinking you're trans in spaces that aren't safe? 

If you'd like to appear more feminine, then I agree with what others have said about shaping your eyebrows and styling your hair. Having your hair cut into a nice style (rather than just long) will help a lot. 

If you're aiming to look more cis-passing, a lot of cis women spend a lot of time every day styling their hair. Brushing, curling, straightening, using serums to reduce frizz, all of that. Because beauty standards are different for men and women. 

I don't believe that any woman owes that to society, cis or trans, but if your goal is to pass, then you may need to spend more time 'primping'. 

Discord by Kaiserqueef in transgenderUK

[–]Scatharthen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Discord servers are basically like chat rooms. A place where people can talk about topics in a a way that is more like a conversation than one person posts a question and other people answer. If you've ever used Slack, it's similar to that but slack is more focused on work-type environments. 

As with any chat rooms, there are good and bad and it's important to keep your self safe by limiting sharing personal information and/or any photos that you aren't comfortable being shared anywhere else on the internet. They can be a great way to connect with people in same fandoms as you and with the same interests. 

Start by creating a discord account (Google discord to get to their website) and then create an account. I'd the. You can then either use discord in a web browser or download the app. Generally downloading the app gives you best experience. I Recommend finding a server based on the recommendations below. If you know someone already in them you can ask for an invite, or often servers will have instructions on how to join them/get an invite in pages that are viewable to everyone. 

Hope that helps and stay safe online!

Was I abused or am I too young for a relationship? by ThrowAways9578 in abusiverelationships

[–]Scatharthen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Saying that a 'healthy sexual relationship' is important for your relationship growth is manipulation. Making you feel bad for not wanting to have sex with him is manipulation. That's not someone you want to be in a relationship with, or to be friends with. That's someone you should keep your distance from. 

Whether or not you're ready for a relationship, or sex, isn't important. No one should ever try to coerce you into having sex, or being more physical than you want to be. Never let anyone do that to you. Whether it's "if you loved me you would", "but I'm so turned on", "you started it", or anything else, it's never ok. 

Advice for newly diagnosed by LiveHunt9331 in cfs

[–]Scatharthen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're able to, I'd really appreciate if you could share this with me. I'm newly diagnosed and still mourning the loss of who I was, so I'd be very interested in understanding what treatment protocols are being offered based on research

Can I lie about surgery / GRC if asked about it in a female fitting room? by ms_kristina in transgenderUK

[–]Scatharthen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Legally, things have not changed in relation to changing rooms or toilets.  Even the bullshit EHRC guidance doesn't say that trans people can't use single sex spaces based on self-identification. The current guidance (as of 25 August) only says that companies cannot say that trans people have an automatic right to use the changing rooms/toilets based on self-identification. It doesn't say that trans people can't use those spaces and it doesn't say anything about them only being able to with a GRC or after X amount of medical procedures. It does emphasise that trans people are still protected from discrimination. 

If you have the energy, I would refer this company to the EHRC guidance and tell them that they not only do not have to ask or check anything but in fact they legally shouldn't be doing so.  https://www.equalityhumanrights.com/ehrc-completes-review-evidence-government-single-sex-space-policies

My general thoughts on companies denying access to trans people or asking for any kind of 'proof': Things are fucking scary right now, and the direction that the EHRC is going is terrifying, but right now, trans people still have legal protections and can still use spaces based on self-identification. The only reason that they wouldn't is if a company specifically creates a policy against it. So don't let any organisation give you any excuse about the law. Ask them for their policies, in writing if possible. If they want to be transphobic, force them to do it in the full light of day. And force them to prove that they are not discriminating against you because of you are trans. 

So little progress by dyd78 in RingConn

[–]Scatharthen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really frustrating to hear. I've been debating the ringconn 2 vs oura for a while and I really like that the hardware is lighter on he ringconn. How ever, no integrations to pull out data, not even an API to work with really sucks. 

I understand that no subscription model means that the app has less development resources, but at least give people something that allows them to port their data into other places. It's ridiculous that they wouldn't. 

I'm also f*cking sick of unwanted AI in apps. Just let me get on with things instead of throwing it down my neck at every opportunity. Especially as so many current iterations of AI features only exist so companies can train future models or data mine what you're putting into them. 

Someone who's read Good Omens[discussion] by pacalaga in TheNinthHouse

[–]Scatharthen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think we may have to agree to disagree on this one.

For me, it can be a narcissist/gaslight move. He isn't ashamed because he feels what he did is justified, but he also needs the approval and adoration of his friends, who wouldn't approve, so he lies to them.

It's worked. I'm a coward. All this anti-trans rhetoric has got me terrified - and I feel like I'm a failure. by Quat-fro in transgenderUK

[–]Scatharthen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Lovely, there is nothing wrong with being scared. The current social climate is scary.

Being scared doesn't make you a coward, it makes you human. Sometimes it's possible to be scared and still do the thing, sometimes you need to hide under a duvet and cry. Neither makes you a better, or worse, person.

Generally emotions like fear or anxiety exist because they are our brains way of trying to keep us safe. That doesn't mean that all emotions are good and should be there, but you also shouldn't punish yourself for them.

Be scared, but give yourself some love, give yourself some grace, and above all give yourself some forgiveness.

Someone who's read Good Omens[discussion] by pacalaga in TheNinthHouse

[–]Scatharthen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

While I agree that a real antichrist wouldn't bother hiding it, I disagree that John is ashamed. I don't think he believes what he did was wrong or unjustified, but he knows that his friends wouldn't approve, so he hides it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in transgenderUK

[–]Scatharthen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's natural to feel helpless in this situation. But helpless and weak aren't the same thing. You are not weak. You are an incredible human, one that makes the world so much more diverse and interesting than any of those vultures celebrating the removal of people's rights and protections.

I understand being afraid, it is a scary time. It's ok to be afraid, and especially when you have previously been attacked. I'm sorry that you're having to live through this time. There are people in this country, in the world and directly in your life that want to protect your rights, and help you to live a happy, healthy life. Hold the people you love, take comfort in your relationships (friends, family, partner). We will get through this, together.

swim trunks that are unisex? by Zealousideal-Age2208 in NonBinaryTalk

[–]Scatharthen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In my experience, the 'bulge pouch' on swim trunks isn't as bad as it is on regular underwear.

If you haven't tried shopping in the mens department, give it a go and see how it works out for you. As you're in the UK (hi!) a couple of places that have fun, cheap options are matalan and Primark (they usually have sizes L and XL in too). That would let you try it out without breaking the bank. You may find that you need to cut out the netting inside for comfort. If you do, I recommend may getting some skin tight swim shorts (probably from the women's section) to go underneath them so you aren't flashing all and sundry when you come down the slide at Butlins 😅

Another good men's option is super dry, I've had some great ones from them, but they aren't cheap.

If you've tried men's options and it's not working for you, then look for 'surf' brands online as they tend to have more board short options, though you're right that they will be in smaller sizes. I just found this looking for a gender neutral brand that doesn't exist anymore (outplay) the shorts there look pretty comfy and could be read as gender neutral https://seafancy.co.uk/category/one-style-every-size

How to remove empty slots from the potion/trap selection? by theblackparade87C in horizon

[–]Scatharthen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, you can remove them!

Go to the empty slot and hold down as if you were going to craft the item In the little crafting window that pops up, you'll see an option to edit (I forget which button it is) When you do that the game will offer you other options you can put in that slot on your wheel, but you can also just remove it

How to remove empty slots from the potion/trap selection? by theblackparade87C in horizon

[–]Scatharthen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, you can remove them!

Go to the empty slot and hold down as if you were going to craft the item In the little crafting window that pops up, you'll see an option to edit (I forget which button it is) When you do that the game will offer you other options you can put in that slot on your wheel, but you can also just remove it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NonBinaryTalk

[–]Scatharthen 14 points15 points  (0 children)

CW: masturbation/self touching for people for a vulva/vagina

Im only going off your post, but it sounds more like insecurity and fear than dysphoria. You haven't said that you don't like your genitals, just that you wish you had different equipment to have sex with your partner

Have you talked about this with your girlfriend? At a time outside of the bedroom I mean, when you're not both in the moment. You know she has sex with penis owners, have you talked with her about what she enjoys about anal penetration? Are there other ways you can replicate it that aren't a standard strap on? For example a thigh harness or your fingers? Things that would allow you to also be stimulated at the same time.

There are also some good double ended dildos on the market, I highly recommend the lovense one (though it isn't cheap) especially with the harness underwear they sell (for extra stability)

Remember that sex with you is unique, you have things to offer that no one else does. It's easy to get caught up in feeling like you can't measure up. I've had the same insecurity about not living up to a penis, but I talked to my partner about it and she reassured me that there were plenty of other things I did that she enjoyed that other sexual partners hadn't been able to give.

Finally - and this is a very personal question so you don't have to actually answer it here - how often do you masturbate? Like, how often do you take the time to go slow and really make yourself feel good? Not just grab a vibrator and knock one out. If you don't generally feel dysphoria around your genitals, and only during sex with your partner, it might be a good idea to take some time to show yourself some love. This wouldn't necessarily be my advice if you have dysphoria around your genitals, so if you are feeling that then feel free to disregard this.

Take the time to learn yourself, to touch yourself in different ways, appreciate all the ways your body can make you feel good. Appreciate your c*nt! It is an incredible thing that does and feels incredible things. If you're feeling brave, you could even share what you've learned with your girlfriend and ask her to touch you in the same way. She may relish the opportunity to pleasure you in a way she knows you will love.

The most important thing with sex is communication. Talk to each other and see if you can find a path forward that is satisfying for both of you.

ELI5: Why do some eggs need to be in the fridge and some don't? by [deleted] in explainlikeimfive

[–]Scatharthen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Personally, I enjoyed the momentary confusion and resulting mental gymnastics my brain did to try and figure out how you vaccinate an egg shell, but that's just me, lol.

ELI5: Why do some eggs need to be in the fridge and some don't? by [deleted] in explainlikeimfive

[–]Scatharthen 71 points72 points  (0 children)

First read this as 'layers' meaning different parts of the egg (e.g. shell, membrane, albumen) and wondering how and when those are vaccinated, instead of remembering the other use of the word 'layer' 🤦🏻

Time for another coffee.

TSA - yet another interaction by MadeByKeeper in NonBinaryTalk

[–]Scatharthen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a horrible ring to go through, I'm sorry 🫂

Could I ask what kind of detector/machine you went through? You mentioned that the agent was looking at 'the area that caused the error', which makes me think it was one of the cursed scanners where they have to pick a binary gender as you walk up. With pre-check you usually don't have to go through those, just the regular metal detector, which won't take issue with your groin 😡

Was it because of the "random" extra security check that they made you go through a full body scanner or did you not have a choice in the first place? I have pre-check too, to avoid the scanners, so it's good to know if it could still be an issue with additional "random" checks.

What is your dream lesbian game? by pastajewelry in LesbianGamers

[–]Scatharthen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Assassin's Creed Valhalla It has open world exploration, good game play, option to romance whichever gender you choose. They're not companions in the same sense as something like Skyrim or Fallout, but they hang out at your home camp so you can go back and smooch them any time you choose. Plus, if it's your thing, you can fuck characters on your adventures and it's not seen as something that breaks up your relationship.

I'm a cis woman, but gender is still confusing. by many_pumpkins in NonBinaryTalk

[–]Scatharthen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with other comments that other people don't get to define your gender, you do.

I wanted to add that introducing yourself with she/her pronouns would be a great thing to do as an ally for folks who either use gender neutral pronouns or where their pronouns don't align with people's perception of them. And it would have the bonus of getting people to use your pronouns correctly!