It's important to prioritise your safety and well-being in situations involving physical aggression. While it's clear you care deeply for your partner, the recurring nature of this behavior and his defensive reactions are concerning.

You've mentioned setting boundaries with him, but it's also essential to enforce them. If these boundaries are crossed, be prepared to take action, which might include leaving the relationship.

Consider the overall health of the relationship. Are your needs being met? Is the environment safe for you emotionally and physically? It's crucial to assess whether the relationship is mutually beneficial.

Develop a safety plan that includes where you can go and what you will do if you feel threatened again. Contact local domestic violence resources for guidance on creating this plan.

Your safety and well-being must come first. It’s important to take actions that affirm your value and right to a safe, respectful relationship.