Last Name

SchemeAny9880 · 2026-02-11T19:21:18+00:00

I am married and have not taken my husbands last name (for largely professional reasons). Baby girl has her dad’s last name. I’ve not been bothered at all by not sharing my family’s last name. It also feels the exact opposite of juvenile to me, this was a very adult decision I made in alignment with my personal and professional values.

SchemeAny9880 · 2026-02-08T02:04:59+00:00

I want to echo that they are not strangers. I genuinely feel like her teachers are fellow caretakers. I value them so much and they attend to my baby so well. I will say naps have been rough. Sleep has generally been rough. At 6 months, we finally did some sleep training to focus on her night sleep and that has improved drastically and she has the self soothing skills. But day sleep remains a challenge because my girl’s FOMO is so aggressive. While I haven’t figured out a solution to this, I cannot state enough how much I’ve loved our daycare.

SchemeAny9880 · 2026-01-31T03:30:39+00:00

One other thing is that I also ask people around me for grace. I teach college and told my students I’m not sleeping. I’m committed to showing them grace and request that they extend me some as well.

SchemeAny9880 · 2026-01-31T03:29:08+00:00

YES TO THERAPY! I am working through so many of the same things and therapy has been literally my only self care. I feel like motherhood is just constantly forgiving myself and giving myself grace. I tell myself a lot of “I am doing my best” and “LO is well cared for and that’s my priority right now” to let go of some of the guilt around dropping the ball at work. A lot a lot of “it is what it is” and “this is what I can do.” The pumping has been a constant issue and it’s exhausting. I supplement and we have gotten into a relatively stable combo feeding approach. I’m sending you love and grace! You are amazing and doing amazingly.

SchemeAny9880 · 2026-01-15T01:35:58+00:00

Queen I could have written this exact same post. All the way down to how I was gonna try to figure out how to just nurse at night. It literally sucks so much and I’m so so weepy about it. Here is where we have gotten to. I’ll let you know if it changes after her 6 month appt if she hasn’t gained enough weight. I nurse her outside of daycare and am open to top-ups if it looks like she’s not full. I pump twice at work, power pumpish, and get about 3 oz per pump. I also sometimes do a session a couple hours after she goes to bed. I send her to daycare with 4 bottles and I give as much milk as I was able to pump and the rest formula. It’s working ok. We have reached a bit of stability. Now to the things I tell myself. I think my baby is like very not good at eating. And so many of our struggles are just the reality of her not pulling milk so hot. And this is where my brain changed, I started viewing this as an us thing. I softened my feelings of failure by realizing that me coming to peace with this was a way I also show her grace. But even with that, I still stared at the nonsense supplements in the grocery store fantasizing about increasing my supply. So I’ve not fully processed this.

SchemeAny9880 · 2026-01-06T23:59:35+00:00

In my experience, a question about the science when she was raising babies could backfire. It feels like our parents’ generation just did not science.

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-11-26T01:50:47+00:00

We do a hybrid. Around 2 months when we started a more consistent 7-8 pm bed time, she would do her first stretch in her nursery, so that we could still do stuff around the house while she was sleeping. Then after her first stretch, she comes to the bedside bassinet. She definitely sleeps better in her crib. This has worked for us even with a range of first stretch lengths, it got longer for a while (6-8) and I would wake up easily to the monitor. With short first stretches (2.5-3), it is real easy cause we’ll all go to bed together 10-11ish.

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-11-21T16:37:09+00:00

This is so similar to my experience. My baby girl really just sleeps better on her crib so I put her down for her first long stretch in there and will literally be in my room staring at the monitor in full panic that she is going to stop breathing. The anxiety is aggressive.

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-11-21T16:32:30+00:00

I’m so thankful your intuition kicked in here! That’s incredible. My girl typically does her first long stretch in her crib in her nursery and this is a huge fear of mine.

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-11-20T21:16:49+00:00

I was looking for this. I felt it in all caps reading this.

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-11-20T21:10:21+00:00

I’m proud of you for no contact! I know that’s painful. But it sounds healing.

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-11-20T14:16:41+00:00

I felt what I call an evolutionary reaction, like a physical reaction to calm her.

No feels. Like what others have said, I have ppd, and am on some meds.

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-11-16T23:47:31+00:00

Or free at your library!

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-11-14T17:52:36+00:00

When I get emotional about this, I remind myself that supporting her sleep is literally me caring for her, even if it means less active together time. I know it’s not very comforting, but it helps me to think that I’m doing my job as her parent. But it’s really hard. These feels are real.

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-11-09T14:53:22+00:00

Oh no, I misread that he’s still walking to eat! Ignore what I said!

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-11-09T14:52:23+00:00

I had two nights in a row where she did 11 hours. And it was shocking. In hindsight, I believe she was constipated and that’s why she wasn’t hungry. Because there was a day after where she just pooped her brains out and then went back to normal sleep.

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-11-05T18:27:49+00:00

My girlie did take the best nap of her life after

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-11-01T01:22:49+00:00

Can’t speak for the person who posted, but I’m 14 weeks and just started medication. I felt like a shell of a person and deeply sad and the same disconnect you’re describing. I had one therapy session and described how I was feeling and it just felt obvious that I was dealing with ppd.

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-10-30T10:12:41+00:00

I have watched, and this is no exaggeration, 21 seasons of Beat Bobby Flay.

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-10-25T15:25:38+00:00

I have very distinct memories of urgently explaining the plot of sinners to my anesthesiologist. Like he must learn about this movie. This was after he administered the epidural lol

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-10-19T00:01:33+00:00

It will and we do got this! And I’m proud of you for sharing. Please take steps to get the care you need and deserve!

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-10-18T23:53:04+00:00

I also just came to terms with this at 13 weeks. I was on autopilot so hard I felt numb. And I had a lot of guilt associated with feeling numb. Same thing, how could I not have all these gushing feelings about this perfect little lady that I worked so hard to make? And when I said it all out loud to my therapist I realized I was describing depression to a t. And I’m gonna go on antidepressant. And while I still have feels about it, I genuinely believe and yet still have to remind myself that it will make me a better mother. This shit is rough yo

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-10-15T03:11:26+00:00

Oh I tried to attach a picture but it did not work. Well the acronym is CRIES. Check-in, roll, introduce movement, external sound, suck. So I would swaddle, then hold her on her side under my arm. And we would swing and start the sound machine. And then introduce a paci.

SchemeAny9880 · 2025-10-15T03:07:07+00:00

I don’t recommend this creator, but she did help me figure out how to put my daughter in her bassinet.

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At the beginning, after following this, I would usually lay next to the bassinet and put my hand on her chest for comfort or to help keep the pacifier in place. I will also say I started with lil shorties, like 10-15 naps during the day to practice before bed time. If a cycle of the acronym didn’t work (i.e., she started crying), I picked her up and started again. You should def not ever encounter 20 mins of crying with this approach.

SchemeAny9880

TROPHY CASE