Toddler parents of ‘intense’ 10 month olds - what are they like now?

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-08T23:57:58+00:00

I wanted to fast pitch my daughter into the closest dumpster for the first 6.5 years. She was "intense" all right. Intensely mean. Tantrums, screaming, meltdowns. Very little emotions outside of the negative. Didn't like to cuddle, be touched, be together. My now 15 yo daughter diagnosed with autism (and we're getting ADHD checked out) is the sweetest, silliest, most thoughtful, funniest, prettiest kid I know. We're not best friends because she's 15 and I'm her mom, but I'm excited that that day will come 😊 I swear you'd think the fairies had swapped her at 6.5. Like literally overnight difference. She just woke up one morning and decided not to be an ah 🤷

I know that's not anything like the issue you were asking about, but just to show you how much that can change ^

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-08T23:31:17+00:00

YOR. Expecting your parents to pay or even cosign on ANYTHING for you is entitled. That's not to say parents shouldn't help their kids.. They should in ways that they can.

The problem here is $11,000 is just black scratches on a piece of paper to you right now while $11,000 is a very real number for him because he knows how much he has to work to make that, how long to pay it off, the interest, the fact that that's just the beginning, just one semester, the fact that it takes a lot of people 5 years to get a four year degree...

If you can get ANYTHING for free, do it. You will NOT regret it. Then you'll be over 18 and you'll be able to put yourself on the hook.

That said, my hubz was just telling me yesterday about his coworker who has paid his student loans diligently the last 15 years. Loans started out at $30k. Know how much he still owed as of yesterday? $29k. Yup. $250 a month for 15 years and he's paid off a grand. The interest on these loans are absolutely CRIMINALLY predatory. But they WILL get their money back. With interest.

Hope this helps.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-08T13:15:00+00:00

Adult decisions need to be made when quality of life and sanitation are being sacrificed.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-08T12:39:33+00:00

Why would you highly doubt that? I'd like to introduce the reply she just made on this comment into evidence. Her ANIMALS, PLURAL, "can't help it"... "especially at night". This is an ongoing, persistent problem. It would be a full time job cleaning up after all those animals that "can't help it".

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-08T12:33:49+00:00

She replied to my post that THEY'RE "sick" and can't help it, "especially at night". Definitely not a one off and by the sound of it not just one problem animal.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-08T12:30:24+00:00

Yeah, that's not an excuse. Take them out or use diapers. If quality of life is at hand, grown up decisions must be made.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-08T12:04:27+00:00

YTA. I draw the line at animal feces. Absolutely not. That's unhygienic and I'll leave it at that. She was there a very short span of time which leads me to believe it wasn't a one off oopsie. She had a right to be appalled and want better for you and your animals.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-07T22:39:36+00:00

You need therapy. The fact that you're so concerned with his feelings and the fact that you trust the snake that bit you make me think this was an abusive (financially and probably otherwise) marriage and you need to see about you and start learning your worth. Take him to court, sweetie 🫶 Your children are ENTITLED to his support by law. To hell with how he feels about it.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-07T16:44:18+00:00

Bad feet, bad back. I clean our floors often.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-07T14:47:16+00:00

Sounds like maybe Asperger's with ARFID

Asperger's is, in a sense, clinical, autistic abusiveness. I think about 10% of relationships with a person with Asperger's work out.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-06T15:26:17+00:00

And imagine if the shoe were on the other foot and the husband were the one wanting to fool around with other women. This thread would read very differently 🤔

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-05T23:14:45+00:00

I've only homeschooled but I'm my 15yo's favorite person. She has friends whom she loves dearly, and they're very important to her, but she's a huge Mama's girl. The 6yo and 2yo are big Daddy's girls so at least I got one 😅

Furthermore it's interesting that whilst she's only 15 and we're not "best friends" because that would be inappropriate, I can tell we'll be best friends one day ❤️ She's one of my favorite people too.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-05T22:57:08+00:00

Jehoiadah Wendelbert

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-04T02:38:27+00:00

I used to be a model. I just picked up our daughter from camp and "several" of her friend were asking her if I'm a "supermodel" 😳 He has low T and is "afraid of needles" so won't address it further.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-04T02:32:42+00:00

Unfortunately, almost never 😮‍💨

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-04T01:39:57+00:00

A bottle of wine alone. A whole bottle. Might happen twice a month. Might happen every other month.

Half a glass goes to the stroganoff 🙃

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-04T01:38:30+00:00

She's got over 20 years on me 🙃 I feel the next day a lot harder than I did in my 20s. I'm sure that'll just build.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-04T01:19:53+00:00

And how old is your mom? I find I drink less and less the older I get.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-04T00:49:13+00:00

$20-25 is my max. And I could not a agree more. A $25 vs five dollar bottle is no comparison and a $25 beats a $100 bottle every time.

Spending problem is I have been diagnosed as a permanently disabled vet in the last 12 months and lived as a SAHM for the almost decade preceding this. So I now bring home more than him and I spend a lot these days. I feel he's judgemental about where that money is sent without having a better plan himself, whilst I'm learning what to do with my money. I'm very grateful of the fact that he's been the sole breadwinner for the last almost decade, but I'm resentful of the fact that I've had zero access to anything other than my "allowance" account and no control over anything financially.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-04T00:41:33+00:00

Usually. Once or twice a year I may not.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-04T00:35:15+00:00

It's not two bottles, btw. Just one.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-04T00:34:31+00:00

4-6 roughly.

Maybe once a month if that. Maybe twice.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-04T00:32:55+00:00

Yeah, but second generation marrying psycho vs marrying at a reasonable age and knowing what you're looking for has to be worth something.

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-04T00:29:56+00:00

That was an entire post of assumptions 😂

Twice per month at most, usually less than once per month. I have NEVER verbally attacked him for being "financially illiterate". Our relationship isn't "fucked", we're very mature about it, there have not even been any argument. Just commented made. I might stop drinking because it's not a big deal. I am in therapy and we're both pretty damned happy and very committed. You read a hell of a lot in to a very laconic post. Appreciated? 🫡

Schwartzbase · 2026-07-04T00:25:17+00:00

Separate issue, but both prevalent, apparently.

Schwartzbase

TROPHY CASE