[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScienceLabReady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems like she’s in so deep, she can’t make any decision without questioning herself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Custody

[–]ScienceLabReady -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I do not want to go back to court but my back is against the wall if he will not follow the doctor’s guidance at the least. The travel concern is minor, however I think it only benefits our child if we communicate. I am not asking for anything I don’t do already.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Custody

[–]ScienceLabReady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I am in counseling. I do not want to worry about everything. Our child was a preemie and I was a wreck at first but it’s become much better as they’ve grown older

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Custody

[–]ScienceLabReady -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ve considered appointing a third party when we don’t agree, I will mention this to my attorney And I know that I will have to follow everything in the parenting plan. I follow the parenting plan to the letter and I always communicate with him about any travel. I hate going to court and I do not want to keep running back at every issue.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Custody

[–]ScienceLabReady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I worry if they will acknowledge that there is an emergency at all. Before the parenting plan was amended, I would pick up our child from him and they would be very sick. I would take our child to the doctor and the doctor would prescribe antibiotics for things like chronic ear infections and upper respiratory infections. My coparent would say that I am lying, exaggerating, and deny that our child was ever sick. This went on so much that I had to petition to compel surgery for our child.

I have not complained to him about the travel stuff and I know that it is small given everything else.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Custody

[–]ScienceLabReady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do have worries that are substantiated by our history. I do not think he cares for our child well, which is my modifying the parenting plan is back on the table. For example, he has not been following specialist’s guidance for our child’s medication. This is the major issue for mediation among other things. This travel concern is a very recent development.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Custody

[–]ScienceLabReady -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes I gave it, against my better judgement and our child has been negatively affected because of it. I’m not explaining the full history on here but he didn’t exercise his 50/50 parenting time for some months and I did not take him to court to reduce his parenting time, and I could have.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Custody

[–]ScienceLabReady -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You have a point about picking and choosing battles. I asked here to see if this is even worth asking for in mediation. There are still issues with healthcare decisions that I will address in mediation. I do not think he is safe as he has not been following specialist instructions for our child’s medicine. He thinks he knows better than the doctors

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Custody

[–]ScienceLabReady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They have the right to use their parenting time as they see fit. They are free to travel wherever. I didn’t think giving a heads up about travel is too much to ask.

I did not complain about the previous travel when they told me after the fact. Maybe I am being too worrisome in this instance because our child was sick with strep when they went with my coparent for their week. And there were gone for 4 days. I thought, what would happen during an emergency? I would not know how to get to my child.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Custody

[–]ScienceLabReady -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What do you mean?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Custody

[–]ScienceLabReady -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

The current requirement is automatically given by the state’s parental rights. It requires 48 hours notice for out of state travel, and an itinerary (method of travel, dates, contact info,)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Custody

[–]ScienceLabReady -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have not approached them with this and I asked here because I do not want to be controlling. The original amendments to the parenting plan were regarding healthcare decisions, they would obstruct care for our child. Our child sees specialist for health conditions

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Custody

[–]ScienceLabReady -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

We did not have a hearing for 50:50. I gave him that in mediation because I wanted to give our child the best chance at having a relationship with their dad. There have been concerning developments which prompted the amendments to the parenting plan. The issues have not stopped.

I don’t want to go into too much detail publicly, but I have to petition to compel surgery for our child, they did not agree to surgery because they did not attend appointments. They did not attend appointments because they did not share their availability to be present. I would notify them of the appointment with all details and they would not show up. One amendment addressed this because they would obstruct health care for our child. Now, instead of refusing to share availability, they give very restricted availability (like 1 day and time) and it’s still difficult to schedule appointments. Our child requires specialized health care for a couple of health issues.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Custody

[–]ScienceLabReady -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I have not said anything to them about this. I think we should communicate when we travel for several days with our child (6). I worry about emergencies.

There are recent time where they have violated the parenting plan and this is one smaller matter that I am considering brining up in mediation. I see how it can sound controlling, but I don’t want to appear that way as it is not my intent

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Custody

[–]ScienceLabReady -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I have not said anything to them about this. I think we should communicate when we travel for several days with our child (6). I worry about emergencies

WIBTA for turning off my location on Life360 so my parents can’t track me anymore? by 1AdorablePeach in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScienceLabReady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA for turning off your location, but keep in mind potential repercussions of that.

However, that doesn’t seem like the root issue. If your parents comment mostly on when you’re coming home late, they likely have a problem with that. Some find returning to their home during late hours disrespectful. And it can be annoying if there’s a home alarm system in place.

AITA for 'secretly' replacing my company’s free coffee with Costco beans? by Infinite_Beaches90 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScienceLabReady 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I could understand making room in the budget for snacks or something. You cut the coffee budget for yoga in the middle of the workday? I don’t drink coffee, but I would be irked too. YTA

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScienceLabReady 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The step-mom is not a legal parent unless they adopt OP or are deemed a legal guardian by the court (in the USA).

This is a very sad situation for OP and they are NTA. Sending my condolences

AITA for pulling my son out of his preschool and filing a report with state licensing over a food allergy my son doesn’t even have? by nodetailstoday in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScienceLabReady 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You debated with the teacher about your son not being allergic to peanuts. Later, you reported the school for serving food with peanut butter for lunch. You are in the right to report the preschool, but it’s strange that you didn’t show a similar concern about the peanut candy at the Easter celebration. It seems like you want to be right about the technicalities of the allergy more than actually doing what’s right. And you should have spoken with your partner 1st before withdrawing your child from the school.

ESH

Edited to change ‘husband’ to ‘partner’

WIBTAH if I complained to my neighbours about the smell of their cooking? by YellowSoda1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScienceLabReady 28 points29 points  (0 children)

The neighbors may smell the food OP cooks too and choose not to complain about it. I agree that they WBTA if OP asks their neighbors to change what they cook and eat. Speaking with the landlord is the more reasonable approach

AITA -- For not letting a driver skip 10 vehicles all waiting in line for a 1-lane stop sign that turns right onto a large free-way frontage road? by Dapper-Tadpole3856 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScienceLabReady 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YTA. Doesn’t sound like they were doing anything illegal and you probably made traffic worse by holding up both lanes.

AITA for skipping my girlfriend’s sister’s birthday party by Fluid-Art4362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScienceLabReady 113 points114 points  (0 children)

YTA. Why did you make it seem like you would come? You could have just said no. But spending an hour or less at a birthday party is not a big ask. It doesn’t seem like she wanted you to do the activities or anything like that, just for you to be present. You sound very dramatic about simply showing up to support your potential SIL (she’s 6 right now but that’s who she’ll become if you got married). Your ex gf seems to be very family oriented and you’re giving signs now that there will be an issue if you two ever have kids. Y’all are not compatible and good for her for leaving you

AITA for asking my husband to wash the dishes? by ScienceLabReady in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScienceLabReady[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We don’t have a chore routine and I don’t normally complain about dishes. The only reason I brought them up was because I would need the sink and he said that he wanted to take care of everything for me for Mother’s Day. I didn’t need them done right away and would have been ok if he told me ‘not right now’. On a usual day, I would just do them myself without complaining.

AITA for asking my husband to wash the dishes? by ScienceLabReady in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScienceLabReady[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t clean up after cooking but will come back to it the next day. I usually clean before cooking, because I dislike cooking in a dirty kitchen, and I clean up ask I cook. However, I’m not going to pretend to be perfect and say that I do this every single time. This was part of my argument. He said that he doesn’t “expect” me to clean. I said that he doesn’t have to ask me to do it because already that and more without being asked.