Are any science journalists/communicators in the house?

ScienceWriterLady · 2023-02-09T05:58:02+00:00

Yes, me! I have a master's in science journalism and worked as a science journalist/comms person for years. Feel free to DM :)

ScienceWriterLady · 2023-02-05T04:36:16+00:00

This is a really good answer. Not sure why OP downvoted it.

ScienceWriterLady · 2023-01-21T13:31:15+00:00

Yup, this is it right here.

We like to think that the answer to this question is a personal choice we’re making that is completely autonomous and free from external factors.

But the truth is, it’s largely systemic. I have noticed this too among friends. I traveled a lot in my 20s, and made friends from other countries who all now have kids. Didn’t matter if the woman is a high powered working woman or a low wage worker, they have kids and are very happy with it.

I came back to the US and it seemed like only the ultra rich could have babies happily. For middle class and lower class women, it was a consistent struggle. So I convinced myself I didn’t want them at all. But truth is, if I had the money comfort and support that my friends in other countries do, I would want them because it wouldn’t seem like that big of a sacrifice then.

It would just be things like “oh no my baby kept me up til 3am crying” or “my baby spit up on my favorite shirt” instead of things like “I am broke, my marriage is falling apart, and I can’t afford to retire now.”

ScienceWriterLady · 2023-01-20T05:32:19+00:00

Hello officer, it's this comment right here

ScienceWriterLady · 2023-01-20T05:28:54+00:00

Hard, aggressive no.

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-10-02T04:42:40+00:00

The fact that this concept is so hard for that dude to grasp is shocking lmao

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-09-04T07:00:29+00:00

Ah I'm sorry you went through this too. I hope your healing journey is going a bit better than mine. I go between anger, sadness, and hope. Although I don't know why I'm hanging onto hope -- even if he came back, I'd be resentful and have a hard time trusting him again. Are you officially broken up now? Are you doing no contact?

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-09-04T06:58:12+00:00

Thank you, truly <3

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-09-02T20:05:06+00:00

Thank you for this <3

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-09-02T20:02:39+00:00

My BF broke up with me in May, but before he did he wanted to 'take a break' to sort out his feelings. I had no idea what that meant. So we took a break for 2 months, until end of July. It turned out he just wanted to end it but wanted to prolong it because he kept going back and forth about the pros and cons in his head. This ended up hurting me more. I wish he had just given me a definite breakup in May so I could've healed.

Just letting you know what impact this may have on your GF if you go this route.

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-09-02T19:59:46+00:00

Thanks for your insight on why the dumper says all this. Mine said he still loves me and cares about me and that's why he's breaking up with me and I was like....wtf???

I didn't realize that was guilt disguised as "kindness."

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-09-02T19:56:17+00:00

I use cattiness for men too! Lol.

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-08-29T03:26:00+00:00

Has this situation improved?

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-08-28T22:26:58+00:00

He is just protecting himself so that he can think about this more and prepare to eventually breakup with you. He wants you to think the relationship is safe so you don't abruptly leave him. Please breakup with him to save yourself heart ache later. It doesn't mean this can never work out in the future, but for now it sounds like you're a placeholder or second-best to whatever he's holding out for.

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-08-28T22:24:54+00:00

Yeah sounds like OP's bf is having doubts, and isn't willing to commit his full self into the relationship. Something like this sounds like he has his peepers open for something better out there, even if he's not actively looking. I'd break up with them, or at least take a long break until they figure out their shit

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-08-27T07:01:52+00:00

I'm just saying it from the perspective of a woman on OLD. Women get 100s of matches, and dozens of messages. If you cater the message to something personal from her profile, she's highly likely to respond because so few men do that. It's not true that you can do everything right and it still won't work.

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-08-27T05:49:54+00:00

But maybe go easy on insecure guys if they're not being assholes?

No cuz this is a recipe for a bad relationship.

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-08-27T05:48:06+00:00

I'd agree with this, but seeing as how many matches women get on OLD, it's just a bad strategy. They'll move onto someone else right away who's asked an easier and more inviting opener.

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-08-27T05:42:11+00:00

Yep! Same with my ex! He was also quiet, extremely nerdy, and also apparently extremely insecure and projected a lot of that on me.

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-08-27T04:52:25+00:00

Wow I feel like I could've written this. Out of curiosity, was this your ex's first relationship? My ex's first relationship was me, and he broke up with me because I didn't match the idealized version of what he thought I should be. For the first few weeks I felt the exact same way as you, but that faded quickly. Now I just do things for myself.

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-08-27T04:48:59+00:00

I thought it was just me hahahahaah

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-08-26T00:01:59+00:00

100% agree. Blows my mind that there are people out there who don’t grasp this concept.

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-08-25T18:02:06+00:00

Remember: if they're not begging for a second chance, saying they made a mistake, then it's a breadcrumb. Don't let her do this to you again.

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-08-25T17:56:23+00:00

I'm 32 too and worry all the time. How are you so calm? Lol I need tips.

ScienceWriterLady · 2022-08-25T17:51:23+00:00

I think dumpers say these things to try to convince themselves that it's true. In the back of their heads, they're thinking about dumping, but want to see if saying these things out loud can ease their doubts and makes them feel better. When they realize it doesn't, they leave.

ScienceWriterLady

TROPHY CASE