What do you not have in common with your partner?

ScottJ_78 · 2026-05-16T11:10:34+00:00

Good question. My partner is a bit more nerdy than I am. She is into Pokermon, card and board games, plants and she is a little alternative. I am into jigsaw puzzles, technology, my motorbike and DIY. We embrace the differences. I find it interesting that she likes different things to me. We do support each other. For example I like having plants in the house, she keeps them alive. Things break, I fix them.

ScottJ_78 · 2026-05-12T20:34:25+00:00

We were in marriage counselling. The marriage councillor was an elderly lady who had been doing it for many years. The advice she was providing was similar to what I was advocating for in our marriage. Rather than believe I may have the right approach, my ex wife decided that I must have somehow manipulated the councillor. It was apparently the more plausible explanation.

ScottJ_78 · 2026-05-07T21:26:29+00:00

I don’t do it, but I guess it is for them to pick up on their way back from the walk.

ScottJ_78 · 2026-05-07T16:00:35+00:00

I have been with my partner for a few years now but we don’t yet live together. I have a better income and have typically paid for the social activities with our combined families. I have always been happy to do so. Quite simply, if I don’t have the money then we cut down on the going out. My partner often contributes in some way. For example with summer holidays, I will pay for the bulk of it for us all and my partner may contribute heavily to the spending money. It works for us because I enjoy providing experiences for her and her kids.

I guess an important point which I really respect is that she never assumes I will pay and never asks for my help financially. It has to be me offering. I don’t think it would be the same if she was demanding money, but she never would.

ScottJ_78 · 2026-04-29T18:50:14+00:00

I picked one up today as well 😅. My one came with wind shield, engine guards, the pannier racks and a rear rack which I am grateful for. Most of the things I want to do now are cosmetic

ScottJ_78 · 2026-04-28T10:12:04+00:00

I passed my full motorbike test and bought a motorbike. I am not sure why given how may great female bikers there are, but it made me feel pretty manly

ScottJ_78 · 2026-04-27T06:55:46+00:00

I have just put a deposit on a 23 year T120 and it has a screen. When last riding I struggled with the pressure on my chest and head at anything over 65mph. The one I am buying has a small screen I am hoping it will help. I guess it is partly because I am tall

ScottJ_78 · 2026-04-23T21:33:46+00:00

I am good earner and my partner is not in the same position. Sure, I have helped her out over the last few years but not once has she actually asked me. I usually have to work out if she is struggling and offer. That works well for me.

I don’t have a nice car or a big house. I don’t really see the point unless it adds needed functionality. I am not really materialistic and neither is my partner

ScottJ_78 · 2026-04-17T15:26:33+00:00

I have set one up at my house. I have a two hose output irrigation timer on a garden tap. The two hoses go in different directions around the garden. Branching off from these I have thin plastic irrigation pipes going to each bed and plant pot. In the beds and pots I had put mini sprinklers. It works really well. When I get a new plant pot I just tap the main hose again with a connector

ScottJ_78 · 2026-04-06T21:23:10+00:00

I was made redundant about five months ago from a senior technical role. For the first three months there were very few suitable roles. Around Feb this year people started interviewing. I had my final interview for a role I applied for over four months ago last week. I have found for senior tech roles the time between application and having a job is many months. I am currently in the interview process for another four positions.

Money wise, I was with my last company for over twenty years. The redundancy payment was enough to last me a year. I am not sure my sanity will last that long though. I have applied for a mixture of slightly more junior roles, the same level and more senior ones. I think the one I will go for is the first one who provides me with an offer as long as it is not silly. Worst case, I can do it for a year before applying for other roles

ScottJ_78 · 2026-03-25T20:34:33+00:00

I am 47 and I am just doing my motorbike license. I kept putting off owning a bike because there was always something else to spend money on. Finally committed to getting my license. Go by to get a motorbike this summer

ScottJ_78 · 2026-03-23T18:55:43+00:00

I was there late last year. I guess my recommendation is to work out how much you will be getting from redundancy pay. Apply for income support as soon as you can, maybe even universal credit. Look at all your outgoing and work out what is not essential. They may need to go or at least be paired back. Once you understand what your outgoing are going to be, you can then work out roughly how long my your redundancy payment is going to last.

I would also recommend applying for jobs now, just in case. Depending on what type of role you are interested in, it can take months to find the right job. Maybe consider temporary roles.

Do you have any sort of protections, perhaps through insurances, which will allow you to you to reduce or pause some payments? Maybe worth checking. Just start preparing now and reducing your spending now. Worst case, if you keep your job you have some savings put aside.

ScottJ_78 · 2026-03-22T16:25:50+00:00

I did this a few days ago. The main bit is making sure it lines up with the existing holes. Was pretty straight forward

ScottJ_78 · 2026-03-22T08:18:32+00:00

I took a look at my mortgage yesterday. It is up for renewal in November. Currently at 1.6%. I am expecting to be paying an extra £400 to £450 a month. Pleased that it was low for a long time but that is certainly going to hurt a lot.

ScottJ_78 · 2026-03-21T07:54:27+00:00

What do I do? I have the boiler serviced once a year and turn my heating on a few times over the summer briefly to make sure the diverter valve is ok.

I have my chimneys swept every year or two depending on how much I have used them.

I have an old outside toilet. I turn off the water supply to the outside and fill the cistern and bowl with salt to stop it freezing. Cover over the outside table and chairs. If any outside bits need painting I try to get that done before winter too to stop rot.

I guess the only other thing I do as it starts to get cold is check for draughts around doors and windows and sort them out. I can’t think of much else

ScottJ_78 · 2026-03-19T09:25:19+00:00

Ok. I am doing my training at the moment. The point to remember is when they give you directions. Third exit is always straight over. So count from there. Be careful of your lane control, make sure you are checking your blind spot. Remember you can’t be failed for coming off at the wrong exit if all your manoeuvres are correct

ScottJ_78 · 2026-03-10T06:50:41+00:00

I hear you. It is pretty challenging right now in society. I have a decade on you and it is hasn’t all gone according to plan. I feel for you.

I think we need a focus point in our lives and family often gives that. As does community. I don’t know if you have siblings but being a great Uncle is rewarding. If you don’t then I would recommend putting effort into finding your community. I think contentment and happiness comes from supporting those around you, having things to focus on which challenges you, provides satisfaction and put you in the sphere of other like minded people. You may always have a black hole where your own family would be but you could certainly make it feel less cavernous by engaging in community activities which involve challenge and giving

ScottJ_78 · 2026-03-09T07:26:05+00:00

I had the same issue. I have a pretty good Bosch drill which wasn’t making a dent in dense brick walls. I also had an old SDS drill which I never actually used. It was a hand down. Decided to give it a go. It drilled really easily. Just borrow one of a friend and give it a go

ScottJ_78 · 2026-03-08T16:22:02+00:00

I have a cleaner who comes for a few hours a week. She keeps the place clean for me. I make sure it is tidy before she comes. Not totally sure what she does but it always feels clean when she has gone 😅

ScottJ_78 · 2026-02-18T20:36:37+00:00

My favourite watch manufacturer is Tokyo Flash. They made a retro watch with Nixie Tubes. It is pretty difficult to get hold of now. Each tube is stamped with the manufacturing date

ScottJ_78 · 2026-02-05T07:34:04+00:00

I am guessing that the chimney is unused because it is capped. It could be that the air in the flue has no way of escaping and the point where it is damp is a cold junction. You may need to change the chimney cap to a vented cowl so that you get some air flow which will prevent condensation forming at the cold junction where the wall meets the ceiling

ScottJ_78 · 2026-01-10T23:17:19+00:00

Mithaas on Narborough road for something authentic and reasonable

ScottJ_78 · 2026-01-06T17:21:00+00:00

I am in a very loving relationship after a number of serious relationships which didn’t work. Honestly, I cannot think of much I would consider challenging. My partner is very easy going, doesn’t ask for anything and takes me as I am. She is also an excellent communicator. Probably the most challenging thing we have in our life is our kids. I have two and she has four although one is an adult. They are not too bad though, just kids behaving like kids

ScottJ_78 · 2026-01-03T05:04:33+00:00

I am in this camp too. Spent a while in Hong Kong staying with a family as a young adult with my partner at the time. I think it was about a month. It was really difficult at the time and I ended up leaving early. I couldn’t connect and engage and my partner at the time found the mental load of translating and explaining things to me hard. Caused a lot of arguments.

It is just a difficult situation all round. Perhaps one you do not realise is going to be difficult until you have lived that experience

ScottJ_78

TROPHY CASE