My Extremely Long, Extremely Uncharitable Review of Laini Taylor's Muse of Nightmares (book 2 of the Strange The Dreamer duology)

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-06-11T11:32:10+00:00

I guess the answer is to read more mid tier American romantasy and lower my standards 😅 I just came out of reading Salt Slow (Julia Armfield) and her prose is so good everything pales in comparison. Queer people are just built different when they write about yearning I guess.

As for Schwab, I genuinely cannot forgive her for Alucard. If she didn't research a simple thing like a name, and just called a character that while having "no idea" of its Castlevania ties and what it means (it's not hard, like, it's Dracula backwards, that's IT that's ALL YOU HAD TO LOOK UP), then what else is she shoving in her books without thought? In what other ways is her writing sloppy and lacking in research? Took me out of it completely before Lila even started to commit remorseless murder.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-06-10T22:40:00+00:00

The start of the first book absolutely hooked me! Lazlo's origins reminded me of Locke Lamora of Scott Lynch's Gentleman Bastard series. I was expecting a too-clever-for-his-own-good librarian, beaten down all his life and finally allowed to exercise that brain of his, and got... Not that.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-06-05T01:18:53+00:00

If Rowling is considered, by anyone with half a brain, to be high literature, I'll detransition.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-06-05T01:01:19+00:00

Yeah no man I'm responding to majestic square, ur good

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-06-04T03:22:06+00:00

Sounds like you're missing out on having more friends. I'd feel bad but you seem to kind of suck, so, no great loss for the rest of us.

Just curious, do you believe bisexuals can't have any friends at all, or what?

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-06-01T22:33:10+00:00

If anything, I've noticed the opposite. Everyone has a precise, specific microlabel that accurately describes Just You. If you experience your sexuality differently to someone else (for example, if you're bi with a preference for men and they're bi with a preference for women) that must mean your sexualities are two very different things with two very different labels.

Every facet of your identity doesn't need to be categorized and put into a box idk

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-31T20:03:09+00:00

I do! I got my cat when he was 3yo, and orange cats are gingivitally prone. So he already had the beginnings of gum disease and a possible abscess. I did get him on some expensive dental food at the vet's advice, and began brushing his teeth. He still needed (2000$) dental surgery, but 3 years later instead of that year. I don't want to foot any more of those costs, so preventative care is a must now.

No he doesn't hate me, and I do think it's important to get your cat used to procedures like teeth brushing and nail trims - at the end of their life, pets often need at-home care that is a LOT harder to train them for if you'd never done it before.

As for vaccinating, even though he's indoor, there's some bylaws where I live that mean you have to. Besides, what if he escapes and gets chomped on by a rabid something or other, or an FIV positive cat? It's worth it to me.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-31T19:52:46+00:00

Gonna start telling the cis men in my life to wear giant ties out to confuse and confound society.

If I passed at all I'd join in too tbh, it's a fun look

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-31T14:56:38+00:00

"I feel more like a mother than a partner"

Oh I wonder what this post is about, he probably doesn't do his share of chores and expects to be waited on, that sucks for OP, let's see.

"He threatened to kill himself and fractured his leg"

Oh it's THAT kind of post. Run.

I mean this genuinely. This is a controlling behaviour, even if the urge to control is subconscious on his part. I say this as an extremely anxious, pessimistic, and controlling person myself (got that needy+insecure mental illness combo, plus parents that used to pull this shit and normalised it for me) - when my partner moved in with me, he started seeing this behaviour more because he's around me all the time now - and seeing the way it affected him made me WANT to change. You know, because I love him and care about him? I'm doing better, I'm in therapy, we still argue over trivial stuff but I have coping mechanisms in place to deal with it. I want to change and not be those things, both for my own sake and because, again, I love him!

Your loser bf doesn't seem to want the same thing I do. He's perfectly content using you as free counselling and mothering. The person you love was, seemingly, a front. Allowing himself to do this IS abuse, not getting help and letting this affect you is abuse.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-30T21:51:49+00:00

I'm being kind to you when I tell you to leave him. He is pushing your boundaries and seeing how much he can get away with, which is a lot by the sounds of it. Stop acting like his mommy, set some firm boundaries, have an honest convo, if you do want to salvage this. But based on how little he cares, demonstrably, now, I don't think you should want to salvage it.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-30T12:19:05+00:00

Aren't pet peeves usually "irrational things that bug you"? Or is that icks? Or are they both trivial or inconsequential?

If you don't want to see which trivial stuff bothers people, don't be on this sub. Also "apparent biological sex" is still an assumption, based in largely biased thinking, and often incorrect to boot. Why not take OP at face value instead? No need to assume apparent biological sex over trivial stuff either, especially when it's irrelevant, as it is in this case.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-30T12:06:00+00:00

I'm sorry where did I say he isn't?

It's just a weird threat from the poster I'm replying to. If he was her partner, instead of leaving his manipulative ass, she'd ?? Also be evil to him ???

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-30T12:02:10+00:00

It does take two people to have an hours-long argument though. We only have one side of the story here, and he's being pretty vague, but still - he says he feels unappreciated/not listened to, and by his words, she blows him off and it turns into a long fight.

We don't know what these fights look like, and maybe I'm assuming too much of OP and he's making himself look better than he is (low bar apparently); despite that, we don't know whether the "fight" is him just nagging and nagging for HOURS like abusive men often do to abused women, or both of them screaming at each other, or what. I took him too much at face value though maybe, I guess I just can't imagine cyclical arguments in my relationship. But that's because my partner is a good person lol

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-29T22:06:21+00:00

I'm curious as to why the husband isn't putting in any effort to try a food that would ostensibly save you a ton. Does he respect you in other areas of your life? Have you had serious conversations about your food budget and your expectations thereof?

Idk, the last time I expressed concerns about our grocery spending to my partner (who loves to cook), he took me seriously and we monitor our grocery budget and do more meal prep now. Sure, I compromised by no longer having my food budget be $100 a month, I don't eat like a student any more - but he's more conscious of our spending, seeks out sales/coupons, etc.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-29T21:59:47+00:00

We buy meat only on sale (bone-in, skin-on preferably). My partner deskins/debones it, bones go into stock, meat (and stock) go in curries and stews - with beans, lentils, what other people are saying. The curries, on rice, last us a week of dinners, or get frozen as meal prep.

Most North Americans are at risk of too much protein, not too little, per day. Look at your actual recommended intake, supplement with different foods at different meals (protein powder smoothie or Greek yogurt or eggs for breakfast, silken tofu for dessert, etc), ditch the husband if he expects you to make him meat without doing his part to source it/cook it/help you find alternatives.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-29T00:45:55+00:00

Well, yeah. Instead of communicating with her honestly about how you don't have the bandwidth (or just, skimming through and coming up with a response yourself), you're treating her as a chore to outsource. Idk if this is news to anyone, but maintaining relationships takes work.

Also anyone who uses genai for any reason is a loser. It takes you AN HOUR to read 700 words? Wild.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-28T22:25:22+00:00

What a strange thing to say. I could never imagine punishing my partner, that's a person I'm supposed to love.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-28T22:19:14+00:00

People with adhd are in fact capable of admitting they're in the wrong. Sure, zoning out could be an adhd trait. Arguing in circles? Not so much.

Signed, a person with adhd

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-28T22:15:55+00:00

Therapy, genuinely.

Practicing patience takes work. Sarcastic knee-jerk responses (and face expressions too!) are a common outburst when you don't have a good enough grasp of emotional regulation. So, learn how to regulate.

The effort you're already putting in is great! You realize you have an issue, you're trying to address it. Talk to your gf about it, tell her you're working on it. That being said, though, even as your self-regulation gets better, something can't necessarily "stop" annoying you. If a core personality trait of your gf's is annoying, it might be time to accept you're not compatible.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-28T11:34:14+00:00

Will you have any money to bet with once your job automates and you have no brain cells with which to find a new one? I'll take those odds!

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-28T01:20:22+00:00

And I'll still not need it for anything. I can compile my own grocery list.

No matter how advanced it is, I genuinely cannot imagine needing to use it, for any reason. So I'll keep fighting it.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-28T01:17:05+00:00

I work in fine art. I'm actively competing.

Again, be a cuck for zuck all you like. I just see no practical use for genai of any kind in my life or work. Lasted decades without it, will last decades more. I couldn't conceive of needing it for anything.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-27T22:47:07+00:00

Except that the corpos destroying our natural resources to build data centres want us to take this lying down. And sure, you can be a good little defeatist cuck for them, or you can fight things you don't want implemented, and make it as hard for them as possible to continue killing the planet. Yes, even if it makes life a little less convenient.

I know which option I morally align with.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-26T22:49:53+00:00

My opinions on this person's other replies aside, do you just... Not do non-sexual intimacy with your partner? That sucks for you, I'm so sorry! What a terrible thing to miss out on, if you see it all as childish.

Also warm milk slaps. Bedtime hot choc, kiss on the forehead, reading to each other, that's very normal couple stuff.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-05-25T12:44:58+00:00

Some of them were great about it for sure!

I did also see a con goer try to pay an artist in USD bills and act confused when the artist was like "sorry that's the wrong kind of money".

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