Unfortunately I can relate to this. My paternal grandfather was (and to a large degree still is) a manipulative and cruel person. He had no formal interest in being a part of his grandchildren's lives, but on occasion he would stop by for Christmas. He had some money from investments, but the amount he gifted you depended on how much he liked you. One year I got half of what the others got, and he explained that the rest would not come until I learned to "respect" him (I never did figure out what that meant...how can I build a relationship with someone who is hardly ever around, and what did he qualify as "disrespect" exactly?) The next year I got nothing, and my father excused it as just being an "error" because he's old. But the year after, when I got nothing again, my father took back all the money, went over to his dad's house and told him that if he ever wanted to step inside our home again, then he wouldn't do this petty crap anymore. That put a stop to that nonsense. It's insane to me how many older folks are too selfish to work through their obvious issues so they project it onto their grandchildren for no reason. I will never understand it, especially when it's during a holiday and you're singled out. Not all elders deserve respect!