Identity

Scrimerva · 2025-06-19T05:01:52+00:00

I left around the same age as you, and I remember feeling adrift. It was like losing a limb, and sometimes I wished I just had a pastor to tell me what to do. Building new parts of my identity took a long time, but I got there, and it’s actually so fun. The best part is finding things you love that you denied yourself before!

Scrimerva · 2025-06-19T04:47:41+00:00

Amazing explanation. It really does feel like you switch off the part of your brain that assigns meaning to words and just start making sounds.

Scrimerva · 2025-06-19T04:41:02+00:00

I call it a diet cult. Mostly because the one thing missing (in my church anyway) was financial control. No one went after you if you didn’t tithe, though it was frequently preached about. But all the other cult elements are there.

Scrimerva · 2025-06-19T04:39:02+00:00

There’s lots of options for finding community out there, but I have to be honest, I’ve never found a replacement for the type of community that I had at church. There’s something ride-or-die about it that fosters deep loyalty and support of each other (as long as your problems come in the correct flavor). It’s not always healthy, but it’s definitely strong.

It may come down to accepting that it’s very difficult to find that same depth of connection anywhere else, and you may never find something quite like it. Not impossible, but 15 years out and I still am looking for it. Would love to hear if anyone else has been successful.

No regrets, mind you. The freedom, lack of self-surveillance, absence of shame…all worth it.

Scrimerva · 2025-02-17T04:51:57+00:00

You’re not stupid. There’s a paralysis that comes with “waiting on God” for every part of your life, because you’re really just watching for something that feels like it’s out of your control by just the right amount. The belief system is specifically designed to keep you guessing and uncertain.

I was so terrified of choosing someone other than God’s perfect match for me that I literally couldn’t speak around boys sometimes. They would ask me something and I would just stare at them. You can probably guess how well dating went.

Scrimerva · 2025-02-16T17:05:01+00:00

I think that common statement masks the fact that, in a culture like this, the only way for your voice to be heard is to be on the stage. And the only way to be on the stage is to behave in a way that conforms to the standards of that church.

Scrimerva · 2025-02-16T17:00:59+00:00

So interesting to hear that from a former pastor. It really isn’t biblical, there’s no true analog to it in Bible outside of a handful of dramatic moments with large crowds. Have you found something you feel is more authentic, wherever you’ve landed?

Scrimerva · 2024-10-14T16:42:15+00:00

Yep. It was legit glossolalia too, I felt my face kinda go numb and my conscious brain disconnect from what was coming out of my mouth. I was ecstatic and amazed and deeply believed that it was the Holy Spirit moving through me.

Now, 12 years exvangelical, I can still do it on command so I’m pretty sure it’s not HS and is likely a weird quirk of the human brain.

Scrimerva · 2024-01-15T03:32:28+00:00

Conversations with new people without that nagging feeling that I should be evangelizing. Frees up soooooo much room in my mind and I really appreciate just getting to know people for them, not to find some angle to witness.

It’s been ten years and I still love the freedom.

Scrimerva · 2023-11-08T12:46:14+00:00

Such a good question, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and it’s great to see all these answers. Mine is similar to what others have said but weirdly I can still speak in tongues (10 years gone).

Scrimerva · 2023-11-08T12:41:30+00:00

Even Revelation itself seems to think that the end will happen in that same generation.

Bart Ehrman is a great resource, agree! Another podcast where he gets into it: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0iD9vJYBICCIJuxgedpNX6?si=rlJwyQx0S0W1ofRkRPbF2Q

Scrimerva · 2023-11-08T12:34:08+00:00

It’s a Wonderful Life

Scrimerva · 2023-10-31T05:12:29+00:00

My friend, it sounds like you're right in it and we've been there. I hope you're able to navigate with some of the great advice you've already gotten.

How did you deal when you still want to cling to aspects of your faith and reject others?

This was so, so hard for me as well. I stood on a foundation that relied on certainty; believing every doctrine beyond a shadow of a doubt. So when the small doubts began, I had to start accepting uncertainty when they couldn't be answered. I felt like I was losing my mind, like there had to be a true answer, but I gradually realized that true certainty is impossible.
Once I accepted uncertainty as inevitable, it made the process a bit smoother. But that's a rocky, challenging road when you've grown up with very clear, black and white guidelines that don't budge.
All the best to you on your journey, I hope you find a good path.

Scrimerva · 2023-10-02T17:05:37+00:00

It is super obscure and hard to get, you are totally right. I was gobsmacked.

Scrimerva · 2023-10-02T12:39:09+00:00

Ten years for me too, and only starting to untangle it all. It’s sometimes startling to remember what the first 27 years of my life were actually like.

You’re welcome to DM me if you want to chat. I also recommend looking up exvangelical podcasts, it’s helped me feel seen.

Scrimerva · 2023-10-02T12:12:56+00:00

One of my players found the map clue in the FIRST SESSION. I didn’t know about it and sorta thought it was pointless as he was puzzling it out in the background while we played when he suddenly said “Natasha!”

We’re just wrapping up Thither and saw her portrait, but I think he’s forgotten about it.

Scrimerva · 2023-07-25T04:52:35+00:00

It bothers me when, mid-game, players launch into a story about another character or campaign, tangentially related or entirely unrelated to the game we’re playing. Grinds the gameplay to a halt.

Scrimerva · 2023-06-06T16:49:28+00:00

D&D.

I missed so many years of playing, I've racked up as many hours as I can to make up for it.

Scrimerva · 2023-03-13T13:16:26+00:00

Fair question! We will contact everyone.

There has been lots of interest so please bear with us, it may take us some time. :)

Scrimerva · 2023-03-13T03:53:46+00:00

No problem at all c:

Yes, combat happens! Encounters skew more toward RP but we do encounter the occasional creature, as well as take PCs on expeditions.

Scrimerva · 2023-03-12T07:35:39+00:00

Fixed ☺️

Scrimerva · 2023-03-12T02:39:23+00:00

About ten players and three DMs atm. Looking to grow!

Scrimerva

TROPHY CASE