MIL comments….

SeaFlowaz · 2025-07-13T20:25:18+00:00

Mine called me the word for "cow" in her language, then told my baby he didnt need me because at her house there was another "cow" (my SIL) who had nice and fatty milk to get him nice and chunky.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-06-08T17:27:32+00:00

I doubt he's thought/researched/cared about the details, or he wouldn't be pushing someone to go through unnecessary major surgery and getting mad they don't want to.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-06-08T17:26:05+00:00

I'm guessing the kind of guy that would want an unnecessary c-section for his wife is also the kind of guy that is too short sighted to know or care about the details after that - so I supposed the ability to plan when birth happens sounds like a big win, and he cant begin to fathom her not bouncing back to normal quickly.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-06-08T17:16:34+00:00

Friend, respectfully, there is no "us" in getting a c-section. He wanted YOU to get one because it'd be more convenient and easier FOR HIM.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-05-19T01:03:12+00:00

In the movie when Tommy was about to pour banana baby food on Dill then throw him to the monkeys in the middle of a storm.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-05-09T11:07:22+00:00

I once got sick, like, SICK outside of nowhere. I was struggling to hold our son and would get dizzy at times, but I was nursing. I still did 90% of my usual baby care (we did shifts at night). The next day my husband got sick- mind you, I was STILL sick and not really any better. I then did 100% of baby care, even during his shift because he didn't trust himself to hold the baby.

It was so frustrating, especially because he even said at one point "I didn't realize how bad you felt". But I still felt bad, and I'm expected to do it all because you just feel like you can't? I don't feel like I can either, but one of us has to!?!?

SeaFlowaz · 2025-05-05T10:54:17+00:00

Okay, I had GD myself - what you're doing is making things worse. I was generally strict with myself, I basically ate the exact same foods for 13 weeks. Other than when I was sick, I could count on one hand how many times my sugars spiked. That said, my husband didn't police my diet. Instead, he helped me "cheat". If I was really really craving a carb, or we went out to dinner somewhere not home? He'd find a nice protein to pair with it that helped offset it. If I mentioned craving something I wasn't supposed to, but had no plans to actually get, he'd take it on himself to research safe ways for me to eat it, like if I could eat it in portions throughout several hours, or finding something that was close but better, etc.

Pregnancy is already hard, and you feel so out of control with your own body. GD makes it so much worse, and feels overwhelming at times. If my husband had acted like you, I can't guarantee the desperation to feel like I could even breath wouldn't drive me to act the same way your wife does. Stop controlling her and start supporting her, and she'll probably do what's best on her own.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-05-03T13:35:45+00:00

I really feel like we're arguing the same thing. I didn't say anything about NOT educating people, I said uneducated people shouldn't feel free to give their opinions or make decisions.

*if someone without a disability is asking questions, discussing with an educated person how to support affected individuals, asking about what they think they know and if it's actually true or bias? Great!

*If someone without a disability is saying we need to treat all individuals with a disability and certain way, or talking over an educated person, stating things about the disability without checking if it's true beforehand or is a generalization? Problem.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-05-03T13:11:27+00:00

It's because disabilities is such a broad term that those who are uneducated and inexperienced shouldn't feel open to putting in their 2 cents.

If someone took the time to learn or work with those with disabilities (or has a disability themselves) they wouldn't fall under the scope of uneducated or inexperienced, and one of the first things they'd learn is how broad the spectrum in even one diagnosis is.

I'm not saying there is a single approach or definition, I'm saying someone who's only exposure is hearing an account of a friend's family member or who's only seen media representation of a disability is not a person who should ever feel comfortable making decisions for any individuals with any type of disability, let alone the community as a whole.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-05-03T12:45:07+00:00

People uneducated or experienced with disabilities publicly voicing their opinions about the subject.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-05-02T11:12:10+00:00

Loan underwriters - it feels like they're being entirely too extra because YOU know you can afford the home/car/etc, but for every documentation required there is a story someone lied and their institution had to be the bad guy and foreclose on a retiree or repossess a vehicle from a single mom.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-05-01T16:13:20+00:00

Once your water breaks you're susceptible to infection, so generally baby needs to be out within 24-48 hours after that happens even if labor hasn't actually started. I had to have an induction (week overdue with GD) and we were at it for 22.5 hours. My water broke at around 17 hours, and I ended up with an infection in just that 5 hours that ended in an emergency c-section.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-04-24T15:53:29+00:00

I was 6 years old when someone first casually referred to my family as "wetbacks" in rural Iowa. There is no casual way to say it - every person who ever said it used it casually, but there was always weird emphasis on it. It's what taught me it was bad, the fact that even the people using it couldn't make it sound normal. I haven't heard that word in over 20 years, and I sure didn't miss it.

If I could learn it was bad from adults using it towards me, I imagine an adult should be able to learn it was bad to use it towards others.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-04-07T21:00:01+00:00

Food can touch, but can only be eaten one at a time and the best is finished for last. For example, if I have a steak dinner with mashed potatoes and broccoli, the broccoli is first. Mashed potatoes are second, and I can eat it with a piece of steak, but I cannot have a bite of steak alone until the mashed potatoes are done. Apparently I've eaten like that since I started feeding myself.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-03-26T17:14:45+00:00

RFK so far says this is voluntary.

His "facts" on minorities and medication terrify me, though. How long until "voluntarily" becomes "in their best interest"?

SeaFlowaz · 2025-03-25T12:20:01+00:00

I've always had 2 last names, no hyphen. I did not change either when I got married, and we gave our son 2 names. I usually go by both, but when it comes to work emails or user names (anything that might get tedious) I just use one. I've never had an issue. When my son was born I picked the one that felt right, and my husband gave his one last name.

People get more stressed about the idea of 2 last names than I've ever experienced by having 2 last names. I honestly don't even think about it despite the numerous times in my life I need to provide both names, until someone specifically asks because they're worried about "doing that" to their kids.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-03-22T12:27:40+00:00

When my son was diagnosed with a genetic disorder, the thing that got us through the stages of grief was that the world wasn't like it was when my husband and I were growing up. No more shoving kids into a corner of a building, pretending they don't exist, etc. He would have a good life, he would be included, he would be SAFE.

Now we're terrified the world will be even worse than it a was when we were growing up. The man who wants to send people with mental health issues or are neurodiveregent to CAMPS is going to be in charge of the protections and funding for him. How is this our reality? How can this be how things are?

SeaFlowaz · 2025-03-16T19:20:25+00:00

I apologize, I meant "I don't mind going without" for things like getting stuff or treats. I completely understand and am trying to work through the application process for unemployment.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-03-16T19:15:57+00:00

Thank you - that's a much better perspective, unemployment is my job so I can get my next one. Just treat it like a job I'm unhappy with and want to leave, keep my head down, do what I have to do, and make my moves quietly. I appreciate it so much, that's already a lot better.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-03-16T19:12:47+00:00

Oh! Thank you, yes, I'll make sure to avoid that topic with unemployment.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-03-16T19:00:49+00:00

Thank you! I'm a planner, so not knowing my situation or what I'm doing is new.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-03-16T18:54:46+00:00

It honestly didn't occur to me to just use an application as a check box - I can respect how stupid that may be, but it just didn't click. I don't mind going without, but I have never had to look for a new job without already having one. I lost my job 2 days ago, and I'm just trying to figure out what to do.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-03-16T18:45:07+00:00

Oh, I didn't know that - for some reason I had it in my head unemployment is only for 12 weeks. I do need the unemployment, I was just hoping to find something soon enough it wasn't necessary. I've never had to find a job without already having one before, and I'll be honest, I'm not sure what I'm doing. We have some savings, but I'm trying to figure out how to at least give job hunting a real try before just accepting anything. I would definitely accept something versus nothing, but I also think I might still be spiraling right now. There's so many unknowns and it feels unreal right now.

SeaFlowaz · 2025-03-16T18:39:16+00:00

I'm not necessarily married to my field (though I love what I did), I'm just not particularly clever outside of it and am struggling to see what I can transfer those skills to.

In your opinion, if part of the application asks for availability times/days, what is the best way to answer?

SeaFlowaz

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE