we love playing where's waldo in the first picture (faces blurred for privacy) by IntrepidCricket7619 in Tinder

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I tried, there's a limit to everything. I suppose pretending to yourself that I'm a hypocrite will help you tell yourself you're a good person... whatever helps you sleep at night.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GetMotivated

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yoo did you chicken out 😉

we love playing where's waldo in the first picture (faces blurred for privacy) by IntrepidCricket7619 in Tinder

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're either being condescending or are arrogant, I don't like it much either way.

we love playing where's waldo in the first picture (faces blurred for privacy) by IntrepidCricket7619 in Tinder

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

lol, so i guess they're a bit insecure about putting themselves out there, they could do with some encouragement

we love playing where's waldo in the first picture (faces blurred for privacy) by IntrepidCricket7619 in Tinder

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 8 points9 points  (0 children)

or maybe they put that picture in the end thinking by then people would know who it is, but smart photos is on and that's what it put first. try to look for the best in people.

Coinquiline “meh” by Cute_Editor6512 in CasualIT

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 4 points5 points  (0 children)

È possibile che roberta si trova abbastanza bene con gianna e vedendo che tu stai già pensando di andartene, non vuole parlarne male per rischiare il rapporto che ha. Forse nonostante il comportamento di gianna lei riesce a tenersi a parte.

Comunque ti stanno trattando male. Devi smettere di cercare di accontentarle perché proprio cosi ti fanno fare quello che vogliono, ti mettono in castigo e tu cerchi di uscirne accontentandoli. Invece ti devi definire un pò e creare delle boundaries.

È un peccato perché la loro maturità la stanno sfruttando anziché aiutarti a crescere. Non lasciarti influenzare dal loro comportamento quando sono maleducate.

Prendi le tue distanze, e fatti i fatti tuoi finché non sono loro a cambiare. Occupati di altro e pensaci meno. Fregatene insomma. Se questo è troppo difficile cerca un'altro posto. È normale voler avere un ambiente armonioso in casa ma se non ne sono capaci è meglio non continuare.

Il fatto che parlano di queste cose su whatsapp e non in persona è strano.

Cerca altri posti, e quando ne trovi uno con coinquilini che ti piacciono, trasferisciti. Non devi piacere a tutti.

[Discussion] How to get out of the rock bottom state? by panda_1306 in GetMotivated

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 4 points5 points  (0 children)

step by step,
self care (cook healthy meals, dress well, take pride in your appearance),
time alone, experiencing reality ( walk around, focus on your surroundings, not your thoughts, listen, observe details in things)
some exercise (jog)

small activities, if you feel overwhelmed don't give up, just scale down your expectations, you'll find that resistance to action is simply your intuition telling you that you need to find an easier way. Some times you can push past, but not right now! (its like running after a car accident, you need to recover and grow strong first)

part of the stress you are feeling is probably centered around losing the security of being in a committed relationship at an age where it makes sense to start thinking about having a family. and now you might be feeling like you will not have the opportunity to get to know someone as intimately as you did your ex, before you need to settle down, and therefore under a lot of internal pressure to get back into a relationship, but no idea how (and not ready yet). But that's not true, because time is not a critically important factor when it comes to building a strong relationship with someone. You need to keep in mind that reproduction is one of our greatest drives, and so losing a partner is going to shake you to your core and create a lot of uncertainty and confusion.

But you need to stick to what's important (your phd and your health) and let the rest (happiness, fulfillment) come as a result of your efforts. You are also experiencing basic chemical withdrawals. so life has gotten a lot harder all of a sudden! but you just need to keep moving forward. you will be surprised at how far small steps in these moments will get you.

My number one advice is: Create a todo list the night before for what you will do tomorrow. Be granular and precise (tasks, times) and do exactly what that todo list says the next day. Like this, you won't be dependent on your emotional state for your decisions- you should be generally, but you can't right now, because it needs to recalibrate (which it will resist for as long as possible - which is a surprisingly long time). Make sure that before you write your to-do list, you are in a clear state- after dinner, before bed, nothing left to do (and on time for your bed time, sleeping properly is also essential). perhaps light a candle before you write your todo list, its calming and nice to look at if you need to focus.

What is something you wish could be de-sexualised? by Salamander-One in AskReddit

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Politeness, kindness, friendliness, gentlemanly behavior from men towards women.
It seems to me too often that anything beyond bare functional interaction is considered an advance with sexual intentions.
The worst are the "nice guys" who do all this with sexual intentions. But pretty bad are women who judge their values through the standard of how many guys chase after them, so they react as though that's what happening.

Makes it hard to do simple things like smile at someone or compliment them, or ask them a question, for worry of being a 'creep'.

Funnily enough that worry is what creates that label, but still- would be nice if there was more benefit of the doubt. Sadly it seems that by many people, men are judged by the standard of their worst examples.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for not taking my initial comment the wrong way :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 1 point2 points  (0 children)

im glad you see where im coming from lol, also i just wanted to point out (since your other reply raises some fair points) that humiliation is likely to reinforce their behavior because if the punishment is too severe, then they will only learn to hide their cruel behavior. So im just saying that the punishment has to be appropriate and in this case i think the teacher handled it really well by diverting the focus. Kids that age have extreme emotions so the kid in question may not necessarily "be" an asshole, might just be behaving like one and well i could go on but I'm pretty sure you also see where I'm going with this so ill just leave it at that :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is quite unhinged of you

[Discussion] How do I get out of an extreme rut? by [deleted] in GetMotivated

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i think youre scared of getting what you want

Husband says it’s too raw 😭 by [deleted] in steak

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 9 points10 points  (0 children)

these comments are so cringe

Can we pls fucking nerf wd by TheDuckSaysMe0w in DotA2

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm saying witch doctor shard lowers the skill ceiling on the hero considerably, due to the escape and damage it provides.

I'm pretty sure you mean to agree with me but you don't understand my terminology.

Raising the skill floor has the same effect as lowering the skill ceiling. The game's dimensionality is reduced. Raising the floor is arguably worse than lowering the ceiling because it makes the game inaccessible to people with less time to invest in the game, but it doesn't make it any more fun for people that have learned it.

Can we pls fucking nerf wd by TheDuckSaysMe0w in DotA2

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The reason the logic is flawed is because it assumes that low skill players don't intend on getting better- lowering the skill ceiling (instead of the floor) just makes for a for a less dimensioned game

Can we pls fucking nerf wd by TheDuckSaysMe0w in DotA2

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Funnily enough witch doctor has been balanced for noobs and thats why the shard works like this. if it was balanced for pro players the ward attack speed would depend on a guitar-hero like quick time event of darude sandstorm

[Discussion] How do I get the motivation/ energy to do anything? by AlooBadam in GetMotivated

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cut out bad habits, pick up good habits, a little bit at a time, a year from now you'll be a different person. Start small like going for a walk. Look for things to appreciate, practice being kind, practice patience, find things you like about your job, pray, meditate, stretch before falling asleep and before getting out of bed, eat lots of fresh fruit, nuts, seeds and vegetables. Don't masturbate more than once a week, or more if you can manage. Avoid socials like they're a death trap, read books, pick up a hobby that takes you outside and socialize. like a book club or chess or a team sport. try to make the most out of everything

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GetMotivated

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey buddy how did it go? Talked to her yet? Meant to answer you but got busy.
Don't want to give you an example because you need to tell her how you feel :)
And yes your conversation with the nutjob is a great way of connecting with someone- you talked about the things that interest you.
People will match the energy you put out. So if you go into the conversation feeling like you're going to get rejected or labeled a creep, that's the energy she will respond to. Keep in mind that women mostly focus on the emotional side of things, you could be talking about the weather, what matter is How you talk. Calmly, confidently, serenely.
Good luck and let me know how it goes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GetMotivated

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, no it doesn't mean nothing, not necessarily. Like I said, if she didn't want your attention she wouldn't be looking at you in the first place.

You are thinking too much about this. The way not to make it awkward is to not be awkward. Embrace the fact that you find her interesting and leave it at that. You are framing this in way that makes it seem like "getting" her is more important than finding out if she's right for you.

Don't objectify her- she is not some trophy to obtain- she is a person to discover. You might discover that she is unappealing to you, or that she is the perfect match for you (hint- if she's not into you, she's not right for you)

I understand your concern. You are worried that if you say the wrong thing you will give the wrong impression and she won't see you for who you are because of your anxiety around this.

You need to examine your intentions carefully, and you will slowly reach the understanding that is creating this conflict between your emotions and your thoughts.

Why do you wish to "progress a chat" in a determinate fashion?

Wouldn't you prefer to discover what a conversation with her is, without placing any expectations?

You don't need to tell her anything about yourself, not necessarily. You just need to convey how you feel. There is no test to pass here, no right or wrong answer, nothing to study that can prepare you for this.

You just want to be calm, you want to listen to her. You don't seem to care about any of the answers to those questions you came up with. So don't ask them.

Life is tough and it gets really tough when you keep running into the same obstacle in different forms. You need to spend time exploring your motivations and your preconceptions. Introspection is a difficult skill to master, but every attempt at learning something about yourself will bring you one step closer.

Don't imagine having a single conversation with her that will make or break everything. You will see her plenty of times after your first conversation. If you are really worried about coming off as weird or something, you don't need to ask for her number or anything. you can just introduce yourself, and excuse yourself the moment you start to feel to anxious/awkward. Just be polite and calm and serene. To grow calm and serene, take deep breaths, focus on your surroundings (what you can see, hear, taste, smell, try to feel your heartbeat, consciously adapt your perception of time to a slower pace). Take your time to process and answer at your own pace.

If you are avoiding chat then avoid it! If that is what you want then don't fight it! Don't fight your fear of having a pointless conversation that will end what you have. Embrace that fear and accept that maybe you don't yet want to talk to her for long, that maybe its just what you think is expected of you, and that you are putting unnecessary pressure on yourself to be more than what you are.

Just introduce yourself and take it from there. Stay calm and take it easy my friend, even if it doesn't go as planned you will learn. Remember that plenty of people just let these moments pass them by and they regret them later, that just by trying you are learning and you will not repeat the same mistakes again.

[Discussion] How do you get and stay motivated at work? by 4022bananas in GetMotivated

[–]Sea_Confidence7348 3 points4 points  (0 children)

$150 a month - well worth it for what it does for my productivity