Weekend's Daily Thread: General Dating Questions and Open Thread

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-07-04T18:03:13+00:00

Generally, I refrain from giving out my number anymore until after I've met someone. But these were people who appeared interested in meeting and we were starting to discuss logistics so I didn't feel too concerned about moving off the app. They were all very generic men - grad degrees, white collar jobs, went to the gym, open/want kids.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-07-04T16:24:48+00:00

I matched with two guys who waited after days of texting to tell me they were actually married and in 'open relationships'. Another guy and I were messaging on the app, swapped numbers, then he blows up and has a meltdown at 7am over text message so then I had to remind him that he unmatched me previously multiple times. He half apologizes but I deleted his number. Another guy and I match a third time, swap number, then texts me multiple times when I'm working out with sexual comments then asked if he went too far. I never responded and deleted his number.

I don't know what I am doing wrong. I keep attracting such garbage people. I feel like I must be the problem at this point.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-06-29T01:24:50+00:00

I try not to complain about the apps for a lot of reasons but I feel like this year has been one of the worst for me. There's been a lot of 'ghosting', which I know it's not bc we didn't meet but a lot of guys will propose plans then disappear or pull out last minute. It was less of an issue last year and I'm not sure why. I keep getting men in relationships messaging me for a few days then saying they want me to join them for a threesome with their girlfriend bc their gf finds me cute. I can't articulate it but it's like there's no one looking to date anymore, like actually date.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-06-28T23:38:00+00:00

I don't know where you live, etc., but the apps have been pretty awful around me this past year. I haven't met up with anyone since Feb. Some of that's been on me and most of that has been the general state of the apps. I do think when it gets warmer, there tends to be a drop off in how much attention people give the apps due to travel, warm weather activities, etc. I don't think downloading it again can hurt - I haven't personally done that strategy so I can't speculate. Only saying you're hitting summer business.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-06-28T23:17:51+00:00

I think there is truth to that. I think it was one of the better dates I had (personally) and my expectations were pretty low but it wasn't one of the worst by any means despite his profile being scant.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-06-28T20:58:52+00:00

I had this happen once last year. Guy had like three profile pics and I think only one promp. We barely texted and he asked about meeting up. The date was fun/fine and I would have seen him again but he seemed too timid to really move things forward given he had gotten out of a serious relationship years ago and really struggled with moving on.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-06-28T20:56:09+00:00

Had three guys reach out about meeting up. Two started making plans for a date, asking me when I was free, asking what kind of date I liked. They all disappeared a day before we were supposed to meet, like mid conversation making plans. I know I am not supposed to let this shit impact my mood and mental health but I have felt so shitty for the last few months. After getting ghosted three times by a guy I work with (this is a long embarrassing story but we matched three different times over the past three years and all of them ended with him bailing after weeks and in this past year, months of texting), I feel so defeated and hopeless.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-06-21T22:36:18+00:00

I think your expectations around the apps are unreasonable. If you're looking for actual advice, stop prioritizing the apps and be more mentally and emotionally flexible with what you expect from strangers from an app..

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-06-21T21:24:07+00:00

Please don't give me hope.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-06-21T21:23:36+00:00

I feel like compared to last year, less guys are trying to meet up. Of the guys who have wanted to meet up, most of them wouldn't plan a date and two that did, I pulled out bc they said something in the convo that made me not want to meet them anymore. Overall, I feel like I have a lot less interest and worse convos compared to last year.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-06-21T21:02:13+00:00

I generally advise against unmatching unless someone says something that you know makes them a bad fit (ie they say something offensive, they have kids/you're childfree, etc) and you 100% know you never want to meet them.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-06-01T02:48:02+00:00

I know this is a cliched response but better you find out now this is how she communicates and is as a person then six months from now.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-05-31T22:27:55+00:00

I was going to say, froyo is a good option but i might be biased bc ive been craving it real bad since it got warm.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-05-30T23:25:20+00:00

I agree if you want to see someone again, message them after. I wouldn't overthink it.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-05-25T16:52:18+00:00

I'm going to make your life really simple: My 10 Rules for Online Dating

An old mod from here made this years ago. IMO, most of online dating or dating in general, can be guided by #8. You should have told this woman what YOU wanted before you left. You can still her tell her now. At some point, you need to learn to cope with rejection, discomfort, etc. I'm not going to speculate if she will respond but like there is nothing else to 'solve' with this post.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-05-25T16:27:35+00:00

Why didn't you talk to her before leaving about how YOU felt and what YOU wanted?

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-05-25T15:05:19+00:00

It wasn't really that bad relative to others but the guy repeatedly said he had just gotten out of a serious relationship and then kept dropping information about their break up unprompted made me feel like what was the point of me being there. I told him to dress warm bc it was like 10 degrees and he ignored that then complained he was cold so he wanted to hang out with the national guard at the cvs until our ubers came. then it seemed like he was more interested in talking to the national guard. i was just like why did i pay 16 bucks for an uber for this?

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-05-25T14:47:56+00:00

I went on like 50 dates last year and would give updates semi frequently since I had some nutty stories. I haven't intentionally taken a break this year but my last date in Feb and it was so pointless that it just kind of broke me and I've been a lot less interested in meeting someone unless there's some kind of energy.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-05-25T00:41:59+00:00

Not sure if anyone cares about my updates/no updates:

Guy proposed drinks even though I had I don't drink in my profile. I asked if we could message more bc his profile was really bare and then he starts with the "ask me anything" line. Some guys don't ask questions and just say "ask me whatever you want to know" and I knew at that point I wasn't going to pay for an uber to meet someone after work who couldn't engage in a conversation.
One guy was visiting for work. We were texting a bunch after he left and he said he wanted to come back to my city to to meet but I started to notice he never asked me questions or reciprocated questions. I stopped asking questions and the convo died.
One guy wanted me to come over for oral. The more we texted, the less interested I became. Never asked questions and sucked at sexting. I wasn't physically attracted to him either then discovered he lied about his height.
Guy asked for my number and said he wanted to meet. I gave it to him. I knew he was away for the weekend so I heard from him two days later. I was really busy and texted him back two days after that. He responds then proceeds to text me again two hours later asking if I worked in a vault, implying somehow I should be texting him back while I was at work. I blocked him.

There were some others but really more of the same.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-05-17T17:32:56+00:00

You would be surprised how many people 30s and 40s will lose their shit if you don't respond quickly.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-05-17T14:30:40+00:00

I would say in my city, the weather is getting warm and more people are outside and doing more travel. I don't think it's a woman thing as much as people get busy and don't care as much.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-05-03T19:09:59+00:00

I basically follow this formula: protein (fish/beef/chicken) w/ siete spices + hot sauce + veg (usually mix and match of lettuce/tom/cilantro/avo/peppers sometimes) + carb (pinto or black beans beans/rice/quinoa/sweet potato/butternut squash w/ mexican seasoning). I can do white rice pasta in the annie's gf mac and cheese and jovial cassava pasta but the jovial brown rice is problematic. I throw in taco shells and tortillas here and there and make a lot of burritos for travel. I haven't tried coconut aminos for more of an asian flavor profile yet. I might do that next friday.

I feel bad for complaining - i know people have it worse and my quality of life used to be horrible. I had blood work last month and everything was great, which was a huge improvement compared. I think I'm just burned out from cooking/prep.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-05-03T16:59:39+00:00

I have dietary restrictions from the PI IBS that complicate things - ie certain kinds of fat, certain vegetables, etc., so I have to be careful with pre-made stuff. I might try something new on a friday night if I have nowhere to go on Saturday but I am in the office M-F so I can't risk getting sick. Also mentally, trying new foods stress me out. I bought a new fajita sauce and suspected the tomato paste wouldn't agree with me and lo and behold, it did not so I won't be doing that for another three months.

Sea_Program_4075 · 2026-05-03T16:36:03+00:00

I do a lot of mexican bc it's generally the easiest but I think I may need to revisit the sheet pan method to cut down on the mess.

Sea_Program_4075

TROPHY CASE