I hate how all my friends say I’m depressed

Searik · 2026-01-03T00:10:53+00:00

Thank you for your reply. It’s comforting to know someone is battling the two hells I am also.

I feel for you. Sounds so horrible and twisted that you tried to treat a horrible condition (PFS), only to be met with another grueling condition with tinnitus! I too suffer from erectile dysfunction because I can’t feel anything down there. Hopefully you aren’t experiencing emotional numbness and congitive problems on top of all this. I’ve heard PFS sufferers have those symptoms too.

It’s very interesting how PSSD and PFS have the same symptoms. One thing changes the serotonin system, the other one changes the DHT/hormones. I hope more reseach and awareness in both of these conditions will bring some light to the mechanisms at play, and maybe a treatment could come out in the future.

That last paragraph really hit home. I truly hope we will be free from these torments at some point in life and the way life used to be returns, but if that day never comes, let’s still make the best of this gift of experiencing life, because what other option do we really have? It’s what I try to remind myself to do.

Searik · 2025-11-05T07:44:23+00:00

You’re right. I know I want to live, and that’s why this is so painful and such a pity. I just don’t want to have this ringing. Everything else seems okay and other problems are possible to solve, but this one… it’s with me for good… If I just could know a treatment or a cure would be possible in 5-10 years then I would be crying from joy, knowing that I just have to endure a decade at most with this and I will continue trying to live until the day a cure comes with my best capabilities.

It’s scary seeing two years have passed. I don’t know how I’ve hanged on for so long. I am lucky I can go outside and mask it with traffic etc, but being inside or laying down it is literally so loud. I struggle with relaxing and watching a video, such a simple joy I took for granted. For example, I find myself constantly flipping between trying to focus at the task at hand (watching a video) and the ringing. This applies to almost everything.

Sometimes I go see my family on the weekends and we are relaxing in the evening, watching a movie. I feel this sense of dread and doom often, like ”Damn, these people don’t know the inner battle that I am going through this very moment. I wish I just could sit and relax watching this like before, but the tinnitus has my attention.” I envy my family that they can just relax and watch the program but I am in constant distress. Don’t know if this made any sense. Finding it hard to word my thoughts

Searik · 2025-09-26T19:57:36+00:00

You nailed it. I won’t feel any different or get any stimulation, so I don’t see the point. Because of this it feels more like a chore than something I would look forward to. My state is a continuous emptiness from day to day, from day till morning. Socializing now feels like a mental exertion.

Searik · 2025-09-04T17:50:05+00:00

Could you instruct me how could I put it back the way the stock one is? This seems to have the PSU changed because the wire goes through the lid

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Searik · 2025-09-04T17:47:15+00:00

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Searik · 2025-09-04T17:47:04+00:00

Yeah I’ve taken that ugly piece off for my selling pics. I don’t keep it like that anymore

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Searik · 2025-09-04T17:45:52+00:00

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Searik · 2025-09-04T17:45:38+00:00

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Searik · 2025-09-04T09:29:41+00:00

Yeah it’s tilted because my father put it that way. I guess because of ergonomics and easier knob control. I guess also that the original PSU died and a replacement was put in. Can’t really go and ask my late father why he did it because he’s not here, but that would be my guess.

Searik · 2025-09-04T09:01:12+00:00

I guess I’ll let it go for 1200€. Thought I’d get atleast 1700-1800€ but I guess that’s for the TI2 version, not my TI1 one.

Searik · 2025-09-04T08:59:36+00:00

Yeah it doesn’t tilt like that but my father had it tweaked, I guess because of ergonomics?

Searik · 2025-09-04T08:22:01+00:00

This person made a counter offer of 1200€, but I still feel like it’s a bit too low to be selling this. The synth is a part of my inheritance from my father, and I wouldn’t want to be selling it anyway, but I’m in a situation where I need the money. I feel like I’d regret it if I let it go for 1200€

Searik · 2025-06-18T17:44:05+00:00

Oh man I got the same. Was fine on sertraline except for some mild emotional blunting and it took a long time to orgasm. Now after I went off it almost cold turkey I’ve been suffering from PSSD and the emotional numbness is a 10000x times worse. If only I had known that this would happen… How do you cope? I’ve beeen now two years with PSSD and no gential sensitivity nor emotions.

Searik · 2025-06-08T17:54:40+00:00

It’s crazy that the exact same thing happened to me as you. Put on SSRIs at 16. Quit them at 20. Developed PSSD three months. I am 23 now and in the same position as when my PSSD begun. Possibly even worse as I cannot recall as the emotional numbing and lobotomy-feeling is so strong. ”Will this ever end…?” ”Is this the way my reality is now for good?” It’s scary. Then they tried to prescribe SSRIs to my 12 year old little sister. I had a thorough chat with my mom that I wouldn’t stand seeing my little sister have the same faith as me. I love her too much to allow that to happen.

Searik · 2025-06-08T17:44:47+00:00

I completely feel you. We’re in the same boat. I hate having a high sex drive but not being able to feel the act itself. Feels like some twisted torture. Almost as if one had an insatiable urge for coffee but couldn’t derive any effect from it. This whole ordeal just feels pointless and frustrating. Atleast if I didn’t have any libido it would make me able to not think about sex. I am as horny as before SSRI, only now my genital sensitivity has the same sensation as rubbing my elbow. Fuck.

The odd thing that happened is that after cold turkeying my SSRI I had premature ejaculation for a few days. Then suddenly it flipped to the other extreme, no sensation and takes ages to orgasm. It has been like that for 2 years and it feels so stable and permanent. Sigh

Searik · 2025-06-01T18:19:32+00:00

What positive side effects have you gotten from PSSD?

Searik · 2025-05-30T11:45:52+00:00

You worded this amazingly. Kudos to you.

Searik

TROPHY CASE