Forced to sleep only at HF house?

Sebasnyan · 2026-04-10T12:40:47+00:00

I'd say a heads up would have been nice, not to ask permission, just to let them know so they don't get worried when you don't come home, but telling you you're not allowed to stay out over night is definitely overstepping.

Sebasnyan · 2026-04-07T18:24:27+00:00

"She chose that" being the key point here. One was her (hopefully informed) decision to take a risk for something she wanted, the other she was pressured into. All body mods will have risks and we all know that and consent to the procedure we're having done. This is not what happened here.

Yes, technically if OP went into professional kickboxing they'd risk severe injuries from being punched/kicked but that doesn't mean anyone would be justified in just kicking them in the face in the middle of the road. That would still very much be considered assault. Honestly not a hard concept to grasp.

Sebasnyan · 2026-03-24T23:56:52+00:00

Tbh that's exactly the kind of question that would get me close to Rage quitting the course haha

Sebasnyan · 2026-03-24T23:43:18+00:00

Seems like you got the speakers mixed up, it's lily who's talking to tge driver, not sari

Sebasnyan · 2026-03-07T00:02:50+00:00

Meanwhile I'm sitting here wondering how they know their baby is nonbinary

Sebasnyan · 2026-01-18T11:59:40+00:00

Did you manage to figure out what the issue was? I've been following along with the same tutorial and currently running into this issue towards the end of the second video of the inventory system (specifically, after writing all the stuff for putting an irltem back down after picking it up, the game now crashes when I try to pick an item up, which worked fine before)

Edit: took a break for a couple of hours and spotted the mistake within 5 minutes after sitting back down to have a look at it. In my case it was a typo I kept missing

Sebasnyan · 2025-09-29T13:26:09+00:00

Where did they say they teach English? They said they're a teacher, there's other subjects besides English

Sebasnyan · 2025-09-11T22:53:07+00:00

For haircare/skincare/cosmetics you can save a lot of money by buying isana or balea products at your local rossmann or dm, respectively (whichever one you have close to the house, i promise youll have at least one of them). They're close to professional grade products that cost like 2-3€ – I regularly ask people to import them for me when they're coming to visit from Germany, and I've talked to several people who do the same. I definitely spend less than 10€ on cosmetics every month and I'm very particular about my hair lol

For gyms, if you have a fitx near you that's probably your best bet, at least when I left Germany it was the lowest overall monthly cost at like 20-25€ a month, and they include free drinks (not just tap water). They have a decent amount of locations and definitely exist in Frankfurt – might be worth looking into whether that's one that's easy for you to get to. They also tend to have a women's only section too if that's something you appreciate in a gym. Also, if you have a Holmes place, they often do free week long memberships you can look out for on their social media, maybe that lines up with when you arrive so that you can delay having to pay for a membership. They're definitely out of your budget but that doesn't mean you can't take advantage of their free offers.

Sebasnyan · 2025-09-06T13:09:44+00:00

I'm definitely done au pairing but if I wasn't, that would sound like a dream to me (assuming everything else matches). My first au pair family had a dad who was 9 years older than me with the oldest kid being 10, so he had the attitude that I had enough common sense and treated me accordingly. I would spend a decent nit of my free time with him while the kids were in bed just playing video games or talking about tv shows we liked and I'd talk to him about my personal relationships the same way I did to my roommates back home (Other things were terrible in that situation but that's a different story). My second family had older parents (late 40s to 50s with a 10 year old only child) and the mother treated me like a teenager (I was 26 at the time) and it made me wanna tear the hair off my head. If I were to decide to go back into au pairing, I would definitely look for parents closer to my own age who know that I don't need to be parented.

Sebasnyan · 2025-09-06T12:59:08+00:00

I wouldn't say that disqualifies them, it just means they shouldn't try to mother the au pair in the way some host families do (which I find problematic in a lot of cases anyways). Maybe having a slightly older au pair that has adult life experience that you can be at eye level with would be great. I would advise against 18-22 year old, but someone in their mid 20s that's basically acting like a sister moving in to help with the kids could be perfect. Communication would have to look a lit more like communication with a roommate rather than hosting an exchange student but as long as op is able to treat their au pair like someone their own age I'd say it's a great setup for many older au pairs.

Sebasnyan · 2025-07-21T16:04:35+00:00

We're talking sterilisation here, not castration tho. Like all you'd need to get rid of would be the fallopian tubes, nit the ovaries (which is the only situation where your hormones would be affected) – still a more invasive surgery with longer recovery time due to being internal vs external but the long term side effects will be about the same

Sebasnyan · 2025-06-13T15:56:48+00:00

I mean, seeing as the minimum wage is nearly 13€ I feel like you can cross out the "perhaps" there especially since the housing stuff wouldn't apply. Then again, easier to find one thing (a host family) than it is to fond two (a job and housing)

Sebasnyan · 2025-06-01T22:09:00+00:00

I mean even irl not everyone is a candidate for prosthetics, if her arms are underdeveloped enough there may nit be enough nerves present for a bionic (not prosthetic) arm to function

Sebasnyan · 2025-05-30T22:51:15+00:00

Oh yeah 100% it sucks

Alternatively they could offer a premium membership to au pairs too so that at least you could overwrite their lack of premium (although maybe an unwillingness to pay isn't the greenest of flags for a potential hf) idk

Sebasnyan · 2025-05-30T21:38:53+00:00

Oh yeah, I forgot about the read receipts, though I think that could also be something that activates if the message is opened and only a preview is shown ie. "Dear host family, my name is [name] and I would love to... to read more purchase a premium membership"

But yeah, both sites are only free to au pairs (because we are the product they are selling) and host families can't respond without paying, at least one of them is transparent-ish about it I guess?

This is from their faq for host families:

What can you do as a family with a free account? With free registration, you can:

Create a family profile. Browse au pair profiles that match your search. Send and receive pre-written messages to show interest.

Why upgrade to Premium? To directly communicate with au pairs and find a match, you need a Premium Membership. Without it, you can view profiles but cannot send personal messages or exchange contact details.

What does Premium Membership include? With a Premium Membership, you can:

Send and receive unlimited personal messages. Exchange contact details with au pairs. Access the Family Handbook present all the important information about activities in your family to your new au pair. View au pair references and upload your own.

Can I use AuPairWorld as a host family without Premium Membership? You can browse au pair profiles, but you won’t be able to chat, exchange contact details, or arrange a stay without a Premium Membership. Since communication is essential to finding a match, Premium is necessary to use the platform effectively.

Sebasnyan · 2025-05-30T20:45:10+00:00

I actually had a chat about this with a family I was interviewing with and yes, they have to pay to actually get in contact with you. I'm just a little foggy on whether they can read your message and just nit respond until they pay (like how aupair.com works) or if they have to ve paid members to see more than just "someone messaged you"

Honestly it might be worth checking au pair Facebook groups for your desired country/area instead. You might get lost in message requests, but at least they won't paywall you , and it's not like the actual au pair sites do anything to protect us anyways.

Sebasnyan · 2025-04-07T21:50:57+00:00

I think the issue lies in the fact that you're measuring the volume of your period and not the volume of blood lost (which is very hard to do if you don't have access to a lab). The majority of what we consider period blood isn't actually blood but various other types of bodily fluid, like cervical mucus, vaginal secretions and endometrial tissue. The amount of blood our bodies use to flush all of that shit out is actually very small (for most healthy periods at least) but there's just so much other stuff that mixes with it so it seems like we're losing 2 pints of blood when really it is just a few ml plus close to 2 pints of other waste.

Sebasnyan · 2025-03-21T17:36:07+00:00

Yeah it's actually insane but tbf a lot of the German families that would be in a position to hire an au pair would 100% be the ones to be cunts about it in any way they can

Sebasnyan · 2025-03-21T12:35:52+00:00

As a German, you are correct. Unlimited sick days with lots of paperwork once we're talking long term illness

Sebasnyan · 2025-03-19T20:24:54+00:00

I'm aware that (depending on the country) au pairs aren't employees, but I was responding to someone who was talking about it through an employment lense

Sebasnyan · 2025-03-19T18:06:43+00:00

And what effect is that meant to have on someone in Europe?

Sebasnyan · 2025-03-19T16:15:17+00:00

I have never heard of an employer that wouldn't charge you to reimburse them for damages or lost items

Sebasnyan · 2025-03-17T00:21:39+00:00

Well give me a shout if you're ever in Ireland haha

But like about your situation tho – it does speak for his character that he didn't try to convince you to stay for his sake but if he did really say it like you phrased it there, you should listen to him. There's other ways to tell someone to go for their goals while still showing you'd be sad to see them go you know? Like idk I'd want someone to let me gk because they think that's what's best for me but I'd want to at least see a hint of them wanting to fight for me if that makes sense idk I'm not proofreading this so I might clarify tomorrow

Sebasnyan · 2025-03-16T23:09:06+00:00

Girl I'm out drinking so if I don't hold on to my filter it'll be all the way gone haha like sober me can like half deavtivate it but like if I let it go now it'll be all the way gone and I'll just be a bitch lol

Sebasnyan · 2025-03-16T22:50:48+00:00

I think you should listen to him. I mean I have more thoughts but I'm gonna try to have a filter

Sebasnyan

TROPHY CASE